“no breaks” says the guy who ends up skipping work for days to live here uninvited

another flipnote animation~ this time Bowser cuz his birthday was the other day! <3 Long live the Koopa King <3

this is a parody of toxic by britney bitch about pokemon, but yea. im terrible at the instrumental so this is just a test. check it out ☠☠☠

Just finished my custom Galacta Knight amiibo. I’ve been wanting to do him for a long long time, and I just acquired another Meta Knight to do it with. That knocks out another custom I’ve wanted to do. Would love to make a Metal Sonic, but I have yet to find another one haha.

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.

However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 

See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 

He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 

So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 

Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 

The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 

And it stayed.

Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

things I should care about:

things I actually care about:

if u are ever scared to send me a meme, remember that I am a nerd who does this every time someone sends me the thing. 

this has been a very important PSA

when you get a big paycheck and don’t know what you want to use it for

figuring out accessories for Adam

…what?

date a boy with blue eyes. date a boy with dirty blonde hair. date a boy who doesn’t talk much. date a boy who wears green. date the hero of time. date link

College student invents gel that halts bleeding

Veti-Gel is a synthetic version of ECM, which binds cells together and initiates the clotting process.

that is so wonderful!

check you out med students :)

MEDIGEL

FUCK

I love you, science.

“Veti-Gel (also sometimes called Medi-Gel) is a synthetic form of the extracellular matrix”

aaaahahahahaha

So, we have potential FTL travel, form-fitting spacesuit designs that allow for armor to be added, discovered potentially life-bearing exoplanets and moons, mind-melding experiments, and now medi-gel.

All right, so when do we meet turians?

I’M ON MY WAY GARRUS

YES MEDI GEL!!!

Why is Tumblr sleeping on this?

ISIS destroyed THOUSAND year old artifacts like the winged bull which dates back to the 7th century! This is a terrible day for art, history and civilization. This is where civilization started people and the only history of it we had left is gone. Why? Because they believed they were idols. These idiots actually believe that some people still worship these beautiful artifacts. They are deeply embedded in history and therefor loved, but not worshiped. They stripped the city of Mosul’s identity as well as the rest of Iraq’s. Its a deliberate attack on history and culture and its heartbreaking.

This isnt even the first time. In January, Islamic State militants ransacked the Central Library of Mosul, smashing the locks and taking around 2,000 books — leaving only Islamic texts. Days later, militants broke into University of Mosul’s library. They made a bonfire out of hundreds of books on science and culture, destroying them in front of students.

Please spread this.

3,000 year old artifacts.

Tragically similar to when the Taliban destroyed the ancient Bamiyan Buddhas in Afghanistan.