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livin' up to the username

@infamouslydorky / infamouslydorky.tumblr.com

Mostly silly with occasional drawings and everything SFW. Support me on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/infamouslydorky
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infamouslydorky
dramorans-stupid-opinion
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givemearmstopraywith

funds for indigenous communities affected by the canada wildefires

i’ll update this as i find more fundraising initiatives and please free to share your own. reblogs with anything than sharing resources/mutual aid requests/fundraising opportunities get blocked. 

#current events#important
infamouslydorky
infamouslydorky
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infamouslydorky
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infamouslydorky

Takes on this post least funny to funniest:

  • Rabies has 100% mortality rate. He'd be dead.
  • He's gained immunity through exposure, having his own carrier strain because of all the experiments medic conducted on him
  • He periodically gets rabies from his raccoons, but his body resets every time he respawns
  • It's not rabies. He's actually a were-raccoon
#tf2#polls#soldier tf2
infamouslydorky
Anonymous asked:

I've been following you for a decent amount of time now and I don't think I've ever seen you as riled up as you were in the tags of that baguette post

Like, you were absolutely right, but it's still very funny to me because I tend to think of you as being pretty laid back

Honestly, the biggest pet peeve of mine is people being unnecessarily mean or cruel to others, ironically (considering the subjects I often draw and/or me coming off as "cold"). I care so much, actually. I just want people to have a good time. There's so much pain in this world. Why would anyone want to contribute more to it?

#ask the deerstalker medic#and i know i slip on being nice to people.#im just sometimes dealing with so much bs in personal life i just dont have patience with anything and i snap and i hate myself for it#i want to get better. i want to be better. i want the world to be better. no one deserves this
infamouslydorky
theyellowotter
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hedgehog-moss

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

  • the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”
  • That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”
  • oh, that hurt
  • I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots
  • the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life
  • on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious
  • I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was
  • The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”
  • God.
  • for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again
  • it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”
#if a mf pulled that shit on me it would be on site. no mercy. oh? you wanna be an asshole? square up bitch. I'll beat the manners into you#that's such bullshit. im sorry op#you deserve better than that#i keep seeing in the notes that this seems a typical phenomenon for the french however#i still don't think it right but it looks to be common. I'm sorry to french people that feel the need to be snobbish assholes to each other#it's bread. you know what the person means. die mad about it if you have to be a snob to a ''laymen'' about bread. IT'S BREAD#i didn't expect to get so passionate over this..#anyway. watch me show up with a stale ''flute'' smack the baker with it like a fencing foil. French enough for you then?
infamouslydorky
iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife
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birdingbasics

ace attorney investigations 2 will never be translated into english because we cannot be trusted with the knowledge that, canonically, miles edgeworth is only capable of being quiet and not insulting or goading emotionally unstable witnesses if he first mentally transports himself to a special vr style cgi graphic chess dimension he invented in his head where he has chess powers which, notably, do not seem to actually follow any specific chess rules. but i’m here to tell you: every time he has ever refrained from insulting and or threatening someone during a routine interrogation or wendy’s drivethru experience it was because he went to his special tron ripoff chess dimension mind palace and reframed the old “not being rude on purpose” gambit as a cool chess strategy for debate masters

#ace attorney#your honor. evidence as to why miles edgeworth is a bitch exhibit a#he's literally so mean to everyone. i get why but also my heart breaks for adrian andrews#also gumshoe. personally hc gumshoe quit the cops by the time apollo justice happened bc of the continued shit treatment he got#maybe gummy opened a ramen joint in the end#anyway unpopular opinion from me im sure. i just wish Edgeworth would have some character development and be a lil nicer idk#ignore me airing my grievences. i mean no disrespect op