@ineverpromisedyou

$5 to the first, second and third to correctly diagnose me. #hint it's in the head.

They did literally steal the remote control for my AC . I understand it’s a mild inconvenience by a stupid prank or whatever and I could just buy another one but these are the sorts of things that started making my last residence a living hell . Yes it’s not a big deal but my exaggerated anger is valid. I’m being polite just fuming on the inside because how the fuck am I going to turn on my AC to cool me down now

My friend lost everything she once cared about, including everyone who then-loved her, when she became angry at the world but at peace with herself. She left the country, the community, the religion , the people, the family and friends who couldn’t accept the change. She had to start over somewhere less triggering and demanding , and now she's dependent on illegal drugs and -for lack of a better way to put it- unemployable. I'm trying to study her case objectively, because even though I do still care about her, I can’t decide what’s the best for her or for anyone on earth. And not studying the case because I agree with those who blamed her for “ruining her life” that she believed as ruined before she even left, but because I want to understand what sparked and fueled her decisions.

I'm curious to know what made her feel like she had no choice but to leave everything behind and view everything negatively from the past 25 years. Even though she sounds happy and triumphant when I ask her how she's doing now, the anger still lingers. She never forgave the systems that were meant to protect her but were abusive instead.

But I wonder, is it worth it to search for inner peace by essentially transforming into a different person with your circumstances shifted and tampered with, even mostly irreversibly? I plan to ask her this question one day, but I need to hear her answer while sober.

Got things done to my hair, face, eyebrows and teeth (composite to fill some gabs so I don’t have to have braces) The dentist said she rarely sees teeth this naturally white, I was lucky they had my colour at the next clinic. Had to brag sorry. Anyways if you still think I’m manic you’re wrong I’m just choosing intense self care the way i see it ,and it’s also to not for a second overthink the hardest thing I had to do yesterday which is fine and good and healthy yes yes yes it was and if you want to convince me otherwise I might just get breast implants or something, jk, u know what i mean. No? Ok fair

For days, can’t sleep and can’t get anything done. I am just a broken machine time.

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Lee Jeonglok, Iceland 29, 2019 C-Type Print 120 x 160 cm 47.2 x 63 in Edition of 7 plus 2 AP