(Disclaimer: I am not an economist, and if anyone reading this is an economist, please correct me.)

I feel like the GDP of Westeros must have dropped at least 10% this episode. King’s Landing is one of the few major port cities on the continent (others probably are Oldtown, White Harbor, Lannisport, and Gulltown), and the closest one to most of the Free Cities. It’s now basically worthless.

And yes, the Iron Bank got all of Highgarden’s gold already, but my sense is that only took care of the Iron Throne’s immediate debts and there’s probably still a good deal outstanding. Plus, any investments they’ve made in business ventures involving King’s Landing are now write-offs. Add to that the inevitable political instability that comes with losing a capital city, and business prospects in Westeros start looking really grim. TL;DR I hope the show ends with repo men from the Iron Bank hauling the Iron Throne (if it still exists) and deeds to all of Westeros’s major castles off to Braavos.

*heavy dragon breathing*

MtG Month of the Ship, Day 5 - "I Love You”

Emrakul returns to bring you another story of romance in the multiverse! Today it's a pairing that has become possible thanks to War of the Spark, and that I am rapidly developing an obsession with, Domri x Vivien.

MtG Month of the Ship, Day 3 - First Kiss

Something shorter today, without the bizarre Emrakul commentary. 

MtG Month of the Ship, Day 2 - First Date

Emrakul continues her exploration of mortal relationships with a distinctly different couple (thanks to Nicky Drayden!). This got away from me a bit length-wise... [edit: day 2, not day 1.]

MtG Month of the Ship, Day 1 - Asking Out

Heard about #MTGShip today and decided I’d write at least a few stories with a little spin. I’ve been fascinated by Emrakul’s interactions with non-Eldrazi ever since she played chess with Jace in “The Promised End”, so I’ll be writing from her POV as she whiles away her time inside the moon by peeking in on other characters’ love lives. First up: Chandra & Nissa!

a.k.a. “Tibalt Goes to College”

War of the Spark spoilers have started --> time for memes.

I had to Google this to figure out if it was a parody or not.

It’s not.

Playing against Orzhov be like:

England’s World Cup strategy, briefly.

Saw the art & flavor text for “In Bolas’s Clutches” today and had to make this. “Had” as in “contractually obligated to”. 

Marvel:  “Avengers: Infinity War is the most ambitious crossover event in history”

Me: 

Southern Edge of Orazca; 2nd day of Kinjalli’s Claw, 9th Hour of the Sun

“Whoa, it’s huge! And shiny!”

“Shut up, Challi. Don’t touch it.” I paced the perimeter of the courtyard, watching my ‘partner’ inspect the fine details of the red stone statue that stood alone in its center.

“But! It’s soooo pretty!”

“We’re here to guard it, not defile it. Priests’ orders, they say it’s sacred to Tilonalli.” Not that I wanted to be guarding anything. Soldiers of the Canchatan were supposed to be defending the Empire from the bloodsuckers and pirates, not standing around courtyards. There were lesser troops aplenty that could carry out guard duty perfectly well, yet somehow the Emperor had decided to recall our unit from the southern border to watch over his newfound treasures in Orazca.

“But it’s all warm! It’s, like, begging to be touched!” She rubbed her hand down the face etched into the stone and blew into each of the quietly flaming eyes.

“…you’re a disgrace to the Burning Sun.”

“Yessir!” The impact of that rebuke had completely worn off on Challi, a testament to the number of times I’d used it on her.

“Challi.” I sighed. “Why are you even in the temple guard? You clearly have no respect for Tilonalli or the high priests.” I wondered, as I did daily, what offense I could have committed that caused me to be stuck with her as a partner. It wasn’t that she was unskilled or incompetent; on the contrary, she had quite the knack for fighting in tandem with a whole pack of raptors. It was that she seemed to lack all ability to follow basic standards of religious decency. Last month she’d defiled one of the main altars of Tilonalli in Pachatupa by laying a flower wreath, of all things, on it. Completely improper.

“Aw, come on, Atzoc. I love Tilonalli, I just don’t understand all these rules that the priests up here in the north have! I mean, I know I’m just a clueless southerner, but… isn’t the Burning Sun all about passion, however you want to express it?” She wrapped her arms around the statue and winked at me. I buried my face in my hands.

“Challi, come here.” I beckoned, and she stepped away from the statue to stand next to me. I pointed upwards. “Look at the sun. Keep looking. Okay, look away.” She squinted at me. “Feel that? That burning behind your eyes? That’s the Burning Sun, the fire of Tillonalli. It’s not just an excuse to do whatever—” I stopped as I heard a splash behind me and quickly spun around.

The statue was gone. I raced over to where it had stood and dropped to one knee, just in time to see a small puddle of water soak into the stones.

“Whoa! What happened? I can’t really see…” Challi walked towards me, still rubbing her eyes.

“Statue’s gone, water on the ground, must be River Heralds.” I began thinking out loud to keep Challi on the same page. “Probably used an elemental to grab the statue, would’ve gone towards the densest forest… southeast. Let’s go.” I took off running in that direction and heard Challi’s footsteps close behind mine. At least when it mattered, she was good at following orders.  

For the next few minutes, we moved as quickly as we could through the jungle, Challi summoning a small raptor to provide an extra pair of eyes. There was little sign that we were on the right track until I heard voices, some kind of chant, from not far ahead of us. I motioned to Challi to circle around while I continued straight, and added a hand gesture that meant I’d signal her with a heliopterus cry. She nodded and moved slowly to my left, now with two raptors at her side.

A few dozen paces later, I came to the edge of a clearing and stopped behind a tree. Glancing past the branches, I saw the stolen statue, surrounded by four merfolk in jade armor – no elemental. All four were still chanting and seemed to have no sense of my presence. Seizing the chance for a preemptive attack, I sounded a loud shriek, my signal to Challi, and rushed towards the merfolk, drawing both of my curved sun-blades.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Challi and her raptors charging at the merfolk on the other side of the clearing. The merfolk reacted quickly, though, breaking off their chant and darting away, out of the clearing. By the time Challi and I reached the statue, they were out of sight.

“Cowards!” I roared at where I thought the merfolk might be. There was no sign of movement, but I kept my blades raised nonetheless.

“Er… hey, Atzoc? Does this seem normal to you?” Challi’s normally-confident voice had a slight tremor to it, and that was enough to get me to turn around. The lines carved into the statue had started to shine with the same fire-light that filled its eyes.

“Challi, back away!” She jumped back several paces as the glowing lines grew wider and the remaining stone between them cracked. Then with a crack the entire statue shattered, the stone crumbling away to reveal a face, just like the one that had been carved into the stone, wreathed in fire. The flames shifted, stretched out into a pair of wings and a tail fan, and slowly settled into the form of a bird. With a screech, the newborn phoenix leapt into the air, beat its wings, and flew straight upwards until it was out of sight.

After a long, silent pause, during which a few lines of what might end up being a decent poem drifted through my head, Challi piped up in her usual cheery voice. “Well… guess what!”

“What?” I growled, hoping somehow to shut Challi up while I tried to figure out how I was going to explain this to the priests of Tilonalli.

“Now we’re both disgraces to the Burning Sun!”

assert ( “This is a Tumblr.” )

Header image (as of 3/1/2018) from Ximonic (Simo Räsänen) via Wikimedia Commons, CC-BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Geirangerfjord_from_%C3%98rnesvingen,_2013_June.jpg