Wilbur: Tommy, can I take you to my therapist? 'Cause he thinks I'm making you up.
Techno: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
tommy: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
ranboo: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
tommy: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
ranboo: Can you keep a secret?
techno: Do you know anything about my life?
ranboo: No I do not. Good point.
Tommy: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!
Sam: Really? Name one law
Tommy: Don't kill people?
Sam: That's on me. I set the bar too low.
Tubbo: WHY. why did you give Tommy a KNIFE?!
Philza: I’m sorry. He said he felt unsafe.
Tubbo: Now I feel unsafe!
Phil: I’m sorry.
Phil: ... would you like a knife?
hello??
niki: God, give me patience.
wilbur: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
niki: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
Tubbo: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Wilbur: You people already know too much about me.
Tommy: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
Tubbo: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.
Ranboo: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.
Sam: What do you call disobeying the law?
Tommy: A hobby.
Sam: *crosses his arms*
Tommy: That i do not engage in.
Wilbur: Yum, thanks!
Kidnapper: *puts more tape over his mouth* I said stop eating it.
Techno: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.
Techno: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
Tommy (to wilbur): Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!
Schlatt: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.