Jadzia: You can’t predict when people are gonna be shitty.
Kira: They’re always shitty.
nooneknowiblogthis
Is this not what happened though?
I'm happy to help out, but technically, you're kidnapping right now.
Jake Sisko to Mirror Jennifer
Worf: I have an idea.
Sisko: Don't kill him.
Worf: ...I have another idea.
What's my approach gonna be? Dishonesty.
Quark
The only thing that feels better than lying to someone is lying to someone, then regaining their trust, and then lying to them again.
Elim Garak
Ben: It acts on pure instinct. No conscience. Predatory and aggressive.
Kira: In other words, your typical male.
Julian: On behalf of my gender, hey!
Ben: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.
Kira: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were.
Kira: You know what I realized?
Jadzia: What?
Kira: I'm too nice to people.
Jadzia: No, that's --
Kira: Never works, being nice. I'm done with this.
Jake: Hey bro can I get a sip of that water?
Nog: It’s not water.
Jake: Vodka! I like your style-
Nog: It’s vinegar.
Jake: ...what?
Nog: It’s vinegar, pussy.
Kira: Would you call me selfish?
Jadzia : No. Not to your face
Julian: Now there’s absolutely nothing for you to worry about.
Ezri: Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?
Julian: Well my philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.
What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, ‘Oh Julian is such a nice guy, Julian is so happy-go-lucky! Julian can’t be in a bad mood!’ Well, you know what? Julian CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Julian is be in a bad mood.
Julian Bashir
Sisko: Hey, Julian, you know Garak called by my office today.
Julian: Garak?
Sisko: Mm-Hmm.
Julian: You mean my Garak?
Sisko: You don’t own him.
Julian: Yes, I do. He’s mine.
Miles: You accidentally made her hate you instead of like you?
Julian: Yes. I must have mixed something up.
Miles: Hmm, sometimes that happens, a classic problem. Did you uh, try too hard around her?
Julian: Yes, I tried very hard, I tried very, very hard.
Miles: It didn’t work? Have you been acting weird around her?
Julian: Yes!
Miles: Unnatural? Did you try acting unnaturally?
Julian: Yes! I rehearsed.
Miles: Right. Did you blurt stuff out you didn’t mean?
Julian: Yes! I figured, I’m gonna make myself more memorable.
Miles: Mmhmm, right. So she’s never seen you relaxed?
Julian: No, she’s never seen me- No. And she still hates me!
Miles: Hmm, well have you told her how you feel about her?
Julian: Hahahahahaha. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
Thanks to denial, I’m immortal.
Julian Bashir
Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all
Worf
Mars is like a lot of women I've loved in that I have spent a considerable amount of time looking at them through a telescope.
Julian Bashir, probably
I am now officially in extreme pain. Don't believe me? [screams]
Quark
Rom: Listen, I’m but a simple, idiot waiter. Could you tell us a bit about your-
Leeta: Oh, don’t sell yourself short.
Quark: No, he's not. It’s pretty accurate.
Rom: I appreciate it, but I am comfortable with where I’m at. I’m just standing in my truth here.
Dukat: I don’t expect any gifts from you. I’m the Gul. Frankly, that would be-
[Damar hands him a coupon for one free backrub]
Dukat: This is exactly what I was afraid of. This is actually- Damar, this is the nightmare scenario.