hey just so you know, if you're a detransitioner, i love and support you. if you thought you were trans but ended up being cis, i love and support you. if you were taking HRT but decided to stop for whatever reason, i'm here for you. if you're detransitioning for any reason, you are valid. being a detransitioner does not equal being transphobic, all it means is that you are detransitioning or detransitioned. that is it. you are not an enemy.
great post op.
it also does not inherently mean you are cis; there are many reasons to detransition and a lot of them have nothing to to with gender. there are also many ways to detransition; medically, socially, and such
Coining a new term: GenderGatherer. Definition in the comments!
Gendergatherer: a term for people who collect labels as if they're fruits and veggies being gathered in a basket. Made with gastrogenders and plant genders-specifically fruits, veggies, and grains related genders-in mind but free for anyone to use who feel like they collect labels in a similar fashion to gathering fruits and veggies.
actually i’m tired of reading good social comics and then the bad guys of the comic (police, nazis, misogynists, politicians) are all fat, with double chins or neckbeards or bald spots or stretch marks or they’re hairy or they have acne etc. and usually they’re the only ones with those features. like??? can we stop equating beauty with morality holy shit?
Because of my eating disorder, my hair is falling out. I think about the horror of going bald—a permanent loss of vitality. I think about how it would destroy the feeble androgyny that is my only comfort in this body. I think about my grandmother, bald from cancer, and what that did to her. And I hear my proudly misandrist-identifying cisfemale friends making fun of bald men as if it were a shortcoming or decision of the men themselves. Bald men make them think of television pedophiles. Bald men remind them of self-indulgent authors and desperate improvisers. I see men on the train losing their hair, their youth, their options, and I feel for them. It’s not funny. It’s a dysmorphic nightmare for anyone. I don’t bother mentioning that I find the jokes unnecessary and insensitive. I know what the girls will say.
- Jennifer Coates, I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out.
Repost of my new term, Papercutflux!
Original post:
Papercutflux
A flux gender that feels sharp, sudden, stinging, fiery, and/or painful much like getting a paper cut. Similar to a paper cut, it easily fades into the background, being nearly forgotten until something brings it back forward just as sharp, sudden, stinging, fiery, and/or painful as before it faded. Like forgetting you have a paper cut until you wash your hands and feel the sudden sting of soap in the cut. This is not necessarily related to paper cuts in a literal sense (though it can be) but uses the concept of paper cuts to describe how this gender fluctuates in intensity.
Papercutflux is an umbrella term but it can be used as a gender on its own. To specify the gender natures that fluctuate, one can use the following terms (to specify any other gender natures, just replace the gender nature in the existing labels with the one you want):
Papercutfinflux: papercutflux but specifically with FIN genders
Papercutminflux: papercutflux but specifically with MIN genders
Papercutninflux: papercutflux but specifically with NIN genders
Papercutlinflux: papercutflux but specifically with LIN genders
Papercutabinflux: papercutflux but specifically with ABIN genders
Papercutatrinflux: papercutflux but specifically with ATRIN genders
Papercutxeinflux: papercutflux but specifically with XEIN genders
Papercutkeinflux: papercutflux but specifically with KEIN genders
Papercutaginflux: papercutflux but specifically with AGIN genders
Flags in order: papercutflux, papercutfinflux, papercutminflux, papercutninflux, papercutlinflux, papercutabinflux, papercutatrinflux, papercutxeinflux, papercutkeinflux, Papercutaginflux
hi, i genuinely don't understand how a lesbian person can be attracted to men? like i really don't get "pan lesbian"/"bi lesbian"/etc... im an AFAB, transmasc NB lesbian myself but i am, for all intents and purposes, exclusively attracted to women.
i thought the term "lesbian" meant "any non-man exclusively attracted to women/fem-aligned people"
please explain? this is not hate or anything, this is a genuine question!
hi there! thanks for your good faith questions! :] this is gonna be a long one, so buckle up
the simple answer is that queer identity is never as simple as A + B = C. people can be multigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, Literally Just Butch, etc... it puts a wrench in very simple descriptions like that. there's gotta be some wiggle room for labels to work—and even then, it's entirely against the idea of queer liberation to let anyone but yourself define your connection to a label. as the saying goes, "not gay as in happy, but queer as in fuck you". (not directed at you, ofc :) /lh)
plus, the "non-men" definition kinda...inherently misgenders people who aren't men but aren't lesbians either. i know people who aren't men and would frankly bite anyone who tried to call them a lesbian for the sole sake of them liking women. a label based on exclusion is always going to run into road bumps like that.
but, if you want a more historical answer...
basically, the definition of lesbian has changed a lot over time. for a while in the 20th century, lesbian basically just meant "woman attracted to women", or even just "women who sleeps with women", regardless of how they felt about men.
the idea of lesbianism inherently not including men only really came around with the advent of lesbian separatism in the 1970s:
"In essence, lesbian feminists tried to untie lesbianism from sex so heterosexual feminists were more comfortable. ... Lesbian feminists responded by distancing themselves from stereotypes of “masculine roles,” maleness, and patriarchy. One way they were able to do so was by disentangling lesbian sexuality from heterosexuality and re-conceptualizing heterosexual sex as consorting with “the enemy”. ... They were then able to draw a distinction between lesbian sex and heterosexual sex, claiming that lesbian sex was “pure as snow” since it did not involve men." —Yamissette Westerband, "Lesbians in the Twentieth Century, 1900-1999"
this was coupled together with political lesbianism, and putting this all together, you got a doctrine that followed as such:
- lesbianism was a conscious, feminist, and correct choice. (political lesbianism)
- any relations with men were considered traitorship towards women and compliance with the patriarchy. (lesbian separatism)
- this meant that bisexual women were considered traitors to their sisters. (biphobia babey!!)
this, at its core, was the belief of radical feminists—and it certainly wasn't something that was met with full agreement. while there were many lesbians who scorned any physicality with men, there were just as many lesbians who refused the idea that to be a lesbian, one must completely remove men from their lives.
there are accounts of bisexual women who saw their lesbian identity as a political stance alongside their bisexuality, or even the other way around. [there's a few here!] the phrase "lesbian-identified bisexual" comes up a lot in the literature spanning from the 1970s-1990s.
here's a couple select quotes from the page i linked:
"[Betty Aubut]: ... I never used to identify as lesbian out of respect for women who made the lifelong choice never to sleep with men, but then I realized that was a lot of bullshit. Calling yourself lesbian does not necessarily mean you have made that lifelong decision. Now I mostly identify as a lesbian–so I call myself a bisexual lesbian." —Robyn Ochs, “Bi of the Month: Betty Aubut,” Bi Women Vol. 5, No. 2, April-May, 1987]
"10 years ago when I left my husband and full-time role of motherhood, it didn’t make me less conscious of what being a mother means. In fact, it gave me a deeper understanding. I am still a mother. That experience cannot be taken away from me. In much the same way, my lesbian awareness isn’t lost now that I claim my bisexuality. When I realized my woman-loving-woman feelings, and came out as a lesbian, I had no heterosexual privilege; yet there were important males in my life, including a son. I am bisexual because it’s real for me, not in order to acquire or flaunt the privilege that is inherent in being with men. My political consciousness is lesbian but my lifestyle is bisexual. If I keep myself quiet for another’s sense of pride and liberation, it is at the cost of my own which isn’t healthy–emotionally, politically or medically. Not only is it unhealthy, it’s ineffective." —Lani Kaahumanu, “Bisexuality & Discrimination,” BBWN Vol. 3, No. 6, Dec 1985-Jan 1986; Reprinted from the 1985 Gay Pride March magazine, San Francisco
regardless of what anyone thought, this was still an opinion that stretched forward into the modern day, though it feels that a lot of exclusionists have all but forgotten it was the belief of radical feminists—or even accepted it, becoming modern radfems all on their own.
there's actually a huge radfem population on tumblr, and has been since tumblr's inception—and that's a big part of why this belief system was able to push its way into the wider queer community. with such a lack of queer elders coming out of the AIDs crisis, queer teens on the web didn't really have very many ways to learn about queer history—especially with bigoted parents around, leaning over their shoulders.
thus, radfems were given a perfect opportunity to deliver their verdict, and these queer teens just...didn't know better. i'd go so far as to say that i've seen radfems and exclusionists alike scorn their queer predecessors, claiming that, in nicer words, "being older doesn't mean you're right". it sucks a lot.
in general, a lot of the hatred comes down to the views of radical feminists. that men and masculinity are inherently evil, that to have relationships with men is a betrayal to one's sisters...when really, there's a lot of men who don't benefit from the patriarchy at all. if the patriarchy were some magical force that protected all men, we wouldn't get cishet men being called f or t slurs for showing emotion. men wouldn't be constantly doubted every time they admitted that they'd faced abuse from women.
instead, the patriarchy only rewards complete compliance and gender essentialism. to be viewed as a good man under the patriarchy, there can't be a whiff of femininity on you. likewise, to be a good woman, you can't be masculine in the slightest. (this is a big part of why things such as stay at home husbands and working wives are seen as such a "horrific" phenomenon. it's also the basis of—you guessed it—homophobia!)
it doesn't just tie into gender; in fact, it's very much tied to white supremacy as well. to quote gerald torres, in his book "Understanding Patriarchy As an Expression of Whiteness: Insights from the Chicana Movement" (which i highly suggest you read, as i can only say so much on the subject, being white myself):
"Whiteness has a gender. The history of American racial thought held that to be white was to possess certain superior characteristics that on closer inspection turned out to be as gendered as they were racial. Though the content of the construction of race and gender changed over time, the gendered nature of whiteness, and of race in general, remained constant. Whether attempting to claim white privilege for themselves or positioning themselves in opposition to that privilege, America’s racial and ethnic minorities have historically defined and redefined themselves in relation to the core characteristics of whiteness. To be white was to be civilized, rational, moral and in command of one’s emotions. Of course, these are also gendered characteristics. The absence of these characteristics was stereotyped as definitive of lesser races, and was sometimes even characterized as such by the occupants of those classes."
to double back to radical feminism, this actually also ties into a lot of queer issues that people feel much less vicious about; transmascs are seen as traitors by radfems as well, abandoning their womanhood to join "the side of the oppressors", or even that, by being men, they automatically have all of the same privileges that cishet men do, completely ignoring the fact that a LOT of transmascs don't ever get to access the male privilege that radfems believe they have by nature of being men. (gnc transmascs, those who don't or can't pass, etc)
the same goes for the trend of mlm positivity posts being hijacked by women who feel the need to complain about how "ugly" and "gross" men are, or that people with male partners should "dump them and get a girlfriend instead".
this lateral attack on queer people all comes down to the idea that "it's okay because men are the ultimate oppressors", yet another idea that both benefits radfems by implying that, because they're women, they're the ultimate oppressed party, while also ignoring the fact that, by nature of many of them being white, or cis, or dyadic, or allo, they still have power over those who are people of color, or trans, or intersex, or aspec.
all in all, this isn't to say that you have to like men as a lesbian. you don't! you yourself can define your lesbianism as completely absent of men, and no one can stop you from doing that. in fact, i would defend your right to do that just as much as i defend bi lesbians.
the problem is when people try to define everyone's lesbianism by their own personal definition, and/or they decide that to like men as a lesbian (or at all) is some irrevocable sin. it's ahistorical, it enforces gold star lesbianism, which is already a lesbophobic concept, and it completely contradicts the idea of queer liberation and autonomy.
and to any radfems and exclus who decide they're gonna send me some mean messages after reading this: hi <3 anon is off. show me your pretty urls so i can block you.
The hard truth about autism acceptance that a lot of people don’t want to hear is that autism acceptance also inherently requires acceptance of people who are just weird.
And yes, I mean Those TM people. Middle schoolers who growl and bark and naruto run in the halls. Thirtysomethings who live with their parents. Furries. Fourteen-year-olds who identify as stargender and use neopronouns. Picky eaters. Adults in fandoms. People who talk weird. People who dress weird.
Because autistic people shouldn’t have to disclose a medical diagnosis to you to avoid being mocked and ostracized for stuff that, at absolute worst, is annoying. Ruthlessly deriding people for this stuff then tacking on a “oh, but it’s okay if they’re autistic” does absolutely nothing to help autistic people! Especially when undiagnosed autistic people exist.
Like it or not, if you want to be an ally to autistic people, you’re going to have to take the L and leave eccentric, weird people alone. Even if you don’t know them to be autistic. You shouldn’t be looking for Acceptable Reasons to be mean to people in the first place. Being respectful should be the default.
something i get so annoyed about on the reg is that there is literally no medical reason for birth control pills to have a faux-period every month we could just be skipping that shit all together. but no doctor ever offered this information to me when i was first getting on the stuff back in high school.
Here's a new york times article on the history of the subject subject. I understand there's a paywall but the tl;dr of it is that all that's happening when you go off birth control is your body experiences withdrawal and sheds the uterine lining, so it's not actually a full period. The reason this withdrawal was part of birth control in the first place is because the monthly bleeding let women know that the pills were functioning properly and they were not pregnant. the placebo pills is because one of the guys working on it was worried his wife would forget to take them. lmfao.
really seems to me like just, people who don't have periods not bothering to ask the people they do which of these experiences they would prefer and then the rest of the medical industry just rolling with that status quo. But theres absolutely no research showing that there is any medical benefit to having a monthly period.
Here's an article about the UK Faculty of Sexual and Reproductive Healthcare coming out with guidelines about the pros and cons of different types of birth control regimens. None are safer/healthier than any other and they emphasize that it's really a personal choice for your own comfort
if you're someone who is on birth control or looking into it, this is a good overview about those options.
By the way your periods also stop if you’ve been on testosterone therapy for two months or so and trans men typically have no adverse effects to this… but you can technically still get pregnant so then you have to get a birth control that doesn’t get affected by the T.
ok so like i get the focus on the puberty metaphor. it's a much more universal experience. growing up and changing and not being able to recognize the hormonal mess you've become. more of us can relate to that because we were all 13 once.
not everyone can relate to the struggle of conforming to the model minority myth, to having a whitewashed childhood and needing to represent your culture in a way that western society finds acceptable, being deprived of your culture for the sake of fitting in.
when you look at something your ancestors considered a blessing and find it an inconvenience because you need to integrate to this new world, you need to adjust to the norms and values of the society you want to be a part of. when you have to contain your cultural heritage into a small token that is visible but not engaged with in any meaningful way.
Turning Red is about accepting all parts of yourself. the decision to make Meilin Chinese-Canadian was not just for the aesthetic. it's weaved into the story, and it means something. the climax of the movie playing over both 4*Town and Cantonese chanting. she's 13, she's Chinese, she's Canadian. all of that means something.
this movie presents a nuanced and layered metaphor that means so many things. alongside its statements on generational trauma and the demonization of young female self-expression and sexuality, Turning Red also has things to say about cultural assimilation, the immigrant identity and finding harmony between where you came from and where you are
“Turning Red was inappropriate for children because it talked about puberty in relation to a bunch of 8th graders!!”
I was 11 when I had my first period. Between 5th and 6th grade.
I was in 3rd grade when my mom bought me a training bra, and by 6th grade I was a D cup.
I was in 1st grade when the D.A.R.E. Program started coming to our class and teaching us about street drugs, and how to huff household cleaning products. Also how to call the cops if we saw a family member doing drugs.
When I had my first period, like many afab, I had no idea what was happening and hid it because I was scared and thought I was dying. I didn’t know what a period was, but I knew what cocaine and heroine looked like, and I knew you could get high from huffing nail polish.
The point is, what people consider appropriate and inappropriate to talk to children about is insane. Why are people like “I don’t want the public school system or kids movies talking to my kid about puberty, but a cop can come and tell my 1st grader about meth, that’s fine.”
Abscondogender, Abscondorisgender, Abscondoculusgender
I've been meaning to share these on here since there seems to be a big xenogender community here but I keep forgetting so I'm doing it now 😅 these are terms I coined on reddit and the flags someone in the subreddit I in made for them, but I'll copy and paste the text here for those who don't have reddit ^^ I hope people like these :Dc
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Since this name seems available (can change if I learn otherwise, don't wanna confuse anyone 😊 /g), I'm coining this rn!
Abscondogender is an umbrella term and a xenogender for when one relates their gender to characters or creatures with their faces or part of their faces concealed in some way. This could be due to being in shadow, having bandages over the face or parts of the face, hair, a large hat, being some sort of shadow creature where the entire face is black, or any other means.
Abscondorisgender is a subset of abscondogender and is defined as when ones gender is related in some way to creatures or characters with only their mouths concealed, whether this be by a face/gas mask, bandages, a piece of fabric, because the entire face is concealed except for features excluding the mouth (eyes, nose, and/or ears are still visible but mouth is not), or by any other means.
Abscondoculusgender is a subset of abscondogender and is defined as when ones gender is related to creatures or characters with only their eyes concealed, whether this be by a blindfold, hair, bandages, a piece of fabric, a hat, because the entire face is concealed except for features excluding the eyes (mouth, nose, and/or ears are still visible but eyes are not), or by any other means.
**edit:** I'm changing abscondoculusgender to **abscondoculgender** and changing the definition slightly to say "when ones gender is related to creatures or characters with only **one or both of** their eyes concealed, whether this be by a blindfold, hair, bandages, a piece of fabric, a hat, because the entire face is concealed except for features excluding the eyes (mouth, nose, and/or ears are still visible but eyes are not), or by any other means."
I hope this makes sense! I'm open to feedback as well as open to any other subsets y'all think should be included. Also open to anyone making flags as I have genuinely no clue what I want them to look like 😅 I'm gonna hold off on adding these to any wikis for now and instead wait til ezgender and/or LGBTA wiki are done getting set up and things have calmed down a bit.
The first flag is the abscondogender flag, the second is the abscondorisgender flag, the third is the abscondoculgender flag. The flags were made by @mogai-dollhouse ^^
I went ahead and found the hex/rgba codes cuz I'm absolutely terrible at describing shade names (I'm so sorry to those who use screen readers, I really did try my best 😭);
Abscondogender Flag Color Codes:
HEX #121722 / rgba(18,23,34,255)
HEX #243033 / rgba(36,48,51,255)
HEX #483554 / rgba(72,53,84,255)
HEX #241a3a / rgba(36,26,58,255)
HEX #a58467 / rgba(165,132,103,255)
HEX #7c3e3d / rgba(124,62,61,255)
HEX #281312 / rgba(40,19,18,255)
Abscondorisgender Flag Color Codes:
HEX #101e05 / rgba(16,30,5,255)
HEX #324242 / rgba(50,66,66,255)
HEX #58375b / rgba(88,55,91,255)
HEX #351a3a / rgba(53,26,58,255)
HEX #b79a7b / rgba(183,154,123,255)
HEX #8c4759 / rgba(140,71,89,255)
HEX #2d151d / rgba(45,21,29,255)
Abscondoculgender Flag Color Codes:
HEX #101e15 / rgba(16,30,21,255)
HEX #223021 / rgba(34,48,33,255)
HEX #313251 / rgba(49,50,81,255)
HEX #141930 / rgba(20,25,48,255)
HEX #aa925d / rgba(170,146,93,255)
HEX #60332a / rgba(96,51,42,255)
HEX #300e0b / rgba(48,14,11,255)
TW/CW: INCEST, ELSANNA & AO3(possible CW for LGBTQIA+ wiki)
this post is about @/fruipit currently now known as @/sappho-anaktoria on tumblr and AO3, “why is this on the lgbtqia+ wiki critical tags?” well this is because if you aren’t a keen viewer of the situation with the LGBTQIA+ wiki on Fandom; you’ll be shocked that one of the bootlickers of the wiki Fruipit is now an admin on there and is very close friends with Lady Lostris(another admin)for over 10 years. however, I found something genuinely unsavory about Fruipit. she has quite the long history of liking, posting and sharing Elsanna on sites like AO3(NSFL), Fandom, Deviantart and Tumblr(most notably collaborating with @/gryfon-spanish-werewolf and entering many contests in the infamous @/elsanna-shenanigans and @/elsanna-secret-santa, possible dozens more i don't know of)even so.. when Lostris was informed about this via discord dms, she had said in her own words that they'll never fetishize it despite the fact that Frui already does and has been for YEARS. this is inexcusable and to have one of the head staff defend it is frightening.
"what can i do?"
simple, directly report this to fandom immediately and spread awareness. you can do so via this link: https://support.fandom.com/hc/en-us/requests/new?ticket_form_id=360000948854 don't just report it for the LGBTQIA+ wiki either, the Frozen and Frozen Fanon wiki's is extremely guilty of this. allowing incest userboxes and incest stories. this is unacceptable and all who are involved in this need to be held accountable and be dealt with, i'm not putting this up for debate.
please note: everything has been archived via the wayback machine(minus discord screenshots), if pages are broken. please dm me.
a post showing frui's icon and username(same as on fandom, sadly wayback machine didn't save the image, had to try again)
also proof of said interaction(in case someone claims its been faked), thank you rainbow for this!
This is so far from ok it's not even funny, please mass report this because holy shit. Remember that this is FANDOM's *official* LGBTQIA+ wiki page and Lostris was one of the admins that they put in charge themselves.
I just finished Centaurworld and while i have a lot of feels, my one critique is we were absolutely ROBBED of a Zulius backstory, like why?! Zulius deserved better 😤
confusionofconfusions-deactivat
eminem’s got about lyrics about how the secret service interviewed him, so a journalist FOIA’d info about eminem from the secret service to fact check his rap
it turns out the secret service investigated eminem because of lyrics threatening trump and ivanka
and they really did interview him
and when one of the secret service agents started reading the threatening lyrics out loud eminem started rapping along
and they noted that
confusionofconfusions
I’m sorry to report that this is a W for Eminem
Absolutely obsessed with this reply..... oh, you mean those famous church rules: the 10 Amendments?
OP is sending federal troops to be quartered in other peoples houses :(
A Black Panther feeds his son at the “Free Huey” rally in Oakland, California. February 17, 1968.
cannot be defeated
keepcalmandcarrieunderwood
That last gif was what I was waiting for and I am not disappointed.