Can I Be Excused For The Rest Of My Life?

I would be unstoppable if not for the problems

Cat with unusual markings posted to a Thai Facebook group.

Anyone seen anything like this before?

This is an ancient coat pattern that has mostly died off. This cat just got very lucky genes.

We coulda had 1 stripe cats all this time

Hold on, let me put away fucking Henry VIII’s milk

You milked Henry VIII?!?

these 2 kids were having a goofy fart discussion & becoming increasingly silly about it & finally the teacher snapped & said in this super stern grouchy voice “Thats Enough. Everyone Farts. At Least Thirteen Times A Day.” & i honest to god thought the one kid was crying at first bc he was head on the desk, fists clenched, no sound even coming out laughing so hard. i was like boss thats the funniest possible way you couldve tried to end that

Why is it that when you start eating eggs you also have to suffer a race against time before your brain decides to make eating eggs unbearable

my professor said my assignment was “late” because it was due on friday………like phil my dude last time I checked the concept of time is dead and days don’t exist anymore

COME THRU PHIL!!!!

bill and ted learn the word “gender presentation” and get stressed out because they think they need to give a presentation on their genders

Assigned at birth!? Ohhh nooo My dude do you think they take late submissions?

me too

Bro take this with u u might need them later

take me to art museums and make out with me

But they said to not touch the masterpieces

Well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall

This is Johnson, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again.

World Heritage Post

when i was born the doctor did that dairy queen cup test on me

when the sun sets my brain is like "oh too bad the day is over & I can't do any more tasks" even though it sets at 4:15 these days & I will be up for at least 9 hours after that. like can we just. do something please

if shes your girl why is she tormenting me with visions

if shes your girl can u ask her to stop

who will stop him?

the Aftermath: he stopped himself

He’s been stopped

YOU FOOL. HE’S BACK