Avatar

Emotionally unstable with a whole lot of sass.

@imsuchapitch / imsuchapitch.tumblr.com

Unloved, unwanted, in lives and dreams of children. You must understand my true intentions. Far be it from my desire to harm any child. I only wished to be believed in. That is all I ask for. Trust. A child's belief and appreciation. Fear protects.
Avatar

“We are more than a bit concerned with the Benihana egg trick called for in the script. I’ve tried it and can only get it 1 out of 4 tries, and I’ve seen Benihana chefs flub the manoeuver when they have an entire grill as target. Mads has to crack his eggs into a 8-inch diameter skillet. The props Master calls his guy. The Production Manager calls in his guy. I call my guy. On the morning of the shoot we have 8 dozen eggs and 3 Japanese chefs with their hands made up to be hand doubles.  I guess I don’t have to tell you that when Mads arrives on set, he just tosses an egg up in the air and the egg breaks on the spatula. No problem. Unbelievable. I insist it was a lucky fluke but he does it again. I accuse him of practicing when I wasn’t looking but he laughs (as if he has time to practise egg-cracking between scenes) and tells me he was a juggler in his youth.” [x] And here we all thought we’d have a million outtakes of Mads flubbing the egg trick…

Avatar

What the hell kind of test tube did this man walk out of?

i think i finally understand what kojima sees in him

i’m losing my mind

bert was always my favorite muppet as a kid and TBH I stand by this as an adult. 

anyways its been like four days and I have yet to stop laughing even slightly less at ‘OH GROOVE WITH ME BABY’ (THUNK THUNK THUNK) so 

im starting to suspect bert and ernie sketches were just the basis of my sense of humor

The thing about adhd is like if you hit any sort of roadblock while doing a task, no matter how small an obstacle, it’s gonna throw you completely off track.

like for example:

  • I’m hungry and I want to eat. But when I get to the kitchen I realize I have to cook something. It’s not that hard but it’s something in the middle of where I am now and me eating. So I end up not eating.
  • I’m cleaning my room. There are dirty clothes all over the floor. But my laundry basket is full and so I can’t put my dirty clothes where they are supposed to go. Now my momentum for cleaning is shut down and I go back to something I know how to do, like change playlists.

and that’s on executive dysfunction

I saw and reblogged this one a while back, but it’s always worth repeating, and this time I’m adding a bit of background info comparing common fantasy sword features to the Real Thing (with pictures, of course.)

Leaf-bladed swords are a very popular fantasy style and were real, though unlike modern hand-and-a-half longsword versions, the real things were mostly if not always shortswords.

Here are Celtic bronze swords…

…Ancient Greek Xiphoi…

… and a Roman “Mainz-pattern” gladius…

Saw or downright jagged edges, either full-length or as small sections (often where they serve no discernible purpose) are a frequent part of fantasy blades, especially at the more, er, imaginatively unrestrained end of the market.

Real swords also had saw edges, such as these two 19th century shortswords, but not to make them cool or interesting. They’re weapons if necessary…

…but since they were carried by Pioneer Corps who needed them for cutting branches and other construction-type tasks, their principal use was as brush cutters and saws.

This dussack (cutlass) in the Wallace Collection is also a fighting weapon, like the one beside it…

…but may also have had the secondary function of being a saw.

A couple of internet captions say it’s for “cutting ropes” which makes sense - heavy ropes and hawsers on board a ship were so soaked with tar that they were often more like lengths of wood, and a Hollywood-style slice from the Hero’s rapier (!!) wouldn’t be anything like enough to sever them. However swords like this are extremely rare, which suggests they didn’t work as well as intended for any purpose.

I photographed these in Basel, Switzerland, about 20 years ago. Look at the one on the bottom (I prefer the basket-hilt schiavona in the middle).

A lot of “flamberge” (wavy-edge) swords actually started out with conventional blades which then had the edges ground to shape - the dussack, that Basel broadsword and this Zweihander were all made that way.

The giveaway is the centreline: if it’s straight, the entire blade probably started out straight.

Increased use of water power for bellows, hammers and of course grinders made shaping blades easier than when it had to be done by hand. This flamberge Zweihander, however, was forged that way.

Again, the clue is the centre-line.

Incidentally those Parierhaken (parrying hooks - a secondary crossguard) are among the only real-life examples of another common fantasy feature - hooks and spikes sticking out from the blade.

Here are some rapiers and a couple of daggers showing the same difference between forged to shape and ground to shape. The top and bottom rapiers in the first picture started as straights, and only the middle rapier came from the forge with a flamberge blade.

There’s no doubt about this one either.

The reason - though that was a part of it - wasn’t just to look cool and show off what the owner could afford (any and all extra or unusual work added to the price) but may actually have had a function: a parry would have been juddery and unsettling for someone not used to it, and any advantage is worth having.

However, like the saw-edged dussack, flamberge blades are unusual - which suggests the advantage wasn’t that much of an advantage after all.

Here’s a Circassian kindjal, forged wiggly…

…and an Italian parrying dagger forged straight then ground wiggly…

There were also parrying daggers with another fantasy-blade feature, deep notches and serrations which in fantasy versions often resemble fangs or thorns.

These more practical historical versions are usually called “sword-breakers” but I prefer “sword-catcher”, since a steel blade isn’t that easy to break. Taking the opponent’s blade out of play for just long enough to nail him works fine.

NB - the curvature on the top one in this next image is AFAIK because of the book-page it was copied from, not the blade itself.

The missing tooth on that second dagger, and the crack halfway down this next one’s blade, shows what happens when design features cause weak spots.

So there you go: a quick overview of fantasy sword features in real life.

Here’s a real-life weapon that looks like it belongs in a fantasy story or film - and this doesn’t even have an odd-shaped blade…

Just a very flexible one…

If you want more odd blades, Moghul India is a good place to start…

Avatar

LONGHARBOR is funded!

Longharbor is a maritime horror graphic novel inspired by the work of H. P. Lovecraft and John Carpenter’s The Thing. Thanks to the incredible support of hundreds of people we reached out minimum goal. But you can still pre-order a copy. Check it out and please help us spread the word by sharing this message. https://igg.me/at/longharbor 

everyone who reads this post will get some big spicy joy within 24 large minutes (hours)

Ok y'all but like I’m not even kidding about this I read this post yesterday and today I got an email from the peeps at hamilton and I won the lotto gor $10 tickets and I would like to give all my thanks to the internet’s favorite fish, Goldie Gurston, for making this possible because I totally believe they did this with their amazing gay powers

So I know this is likely a coincidence…but I reblogged this and just now discovered I’ve been given a $150 amazon gift card as a bonus at work. So thank you, fish!

Avatar

If it worked for them I hope it works for everyone else

Some big spicy joy pls

SOME BIG SPICY JOY PLEASE

BEKKATHYST SPRING 2019 GIVEAWAY

~This giveaway is in no way affiliated with Tumblr.~

Please read thoroughly before entering!

Hello lovely Tumblr folk! It’s that time again- I have a giveaway for you all. As current followers know, we are opening up a physical shop in addition to having our online shop! This giveaway is to thank you all so much for supporting us and helping us get this far! We definitely need all the help and support we can get right now, so hopefully this attracts some new customers as well 💞💞💞

All these items came from our shop.

What you get:

$50 credit that can be applied to anything in our shop

  • A carved triple moon wooden box
  • A (treated) titanium aura amethyst cluster
  • Two rainbow fluorite points
  • A mini selenite tower
  • A mini selenite sphere
  • Three little AAA quality amethyst clusters from Uruguay
  • An amethyst scepter crystal from Brazil
  • A fossilized agatized coral cabochon
  • Two rose quartz palm stones
  • Two clear quartz palm stones
  • A pile of rough amethyst chunks
  • A pile of rough quartz crystals
  • A rainbow fluorite slab
  • A high quality amethyst heart from Brazil
  • A high quality “super seven” included amethyst heart
  • A blue crazy lace agate sphere
  • A crazyyyy extra quality rainbow obsidian heart!

This has a retail value of $368 in addition to the $50 shop credit!

Rules:

  1. You must be 16 or older. (If under 18 you MUST have parent’s permission)
  2. You don’t have to live in the US to join!
  3. Shipping is entirely free, I will cover it. But if you live outside the US and for whatever reasons your country wants to charge you import tax, you are responsible for it. If it gets sent back to me, you will need to pay shipping to have it sent again.
  4. You must be following me, so you can get updates if anything about the giveaway changes.
  5. Please check out our shop!
  6. DO NOT tag this post as giveaway. That will risk the notes getting messed up, and this will be ruined for everyone.
  7. Reblog this post to enter. Likes count, too. No giveaway or spam blogs. If you reblog on a side blog, let me know in the tags what the name of your blog is that you’re following me with.
  8. Please don’t spam people with reblogs- limit 2 reblogs per blog per day.  
  9. At the end, each entry will be assigned a number and the winner will be chosen by a random number generator.
  10. The giveaway ends Saturday, April 20th at 6 pm Pacific time.
  11. The winner will be messaged and must respond with their full name and address within 24 hours, or a new winner will be chosen.
  12. Please respect me and my rules, and have fun!
Avatar

Guess Imma post a bunch of /Toshi doodles today. Theres a shit ton of them under the ‘KEEP READING’ some/most/all may not be that easy to read. Mostly its shippy but sometimes Dad!Might. We all live happily ever after.

You know the drill.

i’m starting to hate the frequency of pinterest as a google result more than i hate pinterest itself. listen, google, googly-mate, pinterest isn’t a fuckign source. I want the sites those pictures came from because those are the ones with information such as dates, which is the entire point of the thing I am googling.   

Avatar

Damn right. How the hell am I supposed to find tutorials on how to do wire work or bead weaving when the first howevermany pages of Google results are some idiot’s cluster of Pinterest collections of those tutorials?

SOMEONE ELSE HATES PINTEREST AS MUCH AS I DO

not only does it fuck with sourcing images, but you can’t even SEE the images unless you have a ~pinterest account~ which I have zero interest in acquiring; it does this so completely adorable coy little thing where it shows you half the page and then when you scroll down it goes *complicated tiresome flower emoji face* JOIN PINTEREST 2 SEE MORE! *complicated tiresome flower emoji face* and my systolic reading spikes. 

and google lists individual pinterest pages as separate results, so if a picture is popular, there can be HUNDREDS of pinterest listings before you find anything you could possibly trace back to a source.

listen, all my art bros who are mad about people not sourcing art, i dig that, i agree that sourcing is important, but maybe stop saying reverse image search is easy or ‘30 seconds’ or whatever. sometimes it’s just straight up impossible because fucking pinterest ruins everything.

SUPER EASY WAY TO AVOID PINTEREST: type your query and then -pinterest

7 of the first 12 results are from pinterest

zero items from pinterest not a single one I’m free

Reblog to save a set of nerves.