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Gryphon

@imsadandilikegirls

I'm a huge cunt.
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humansofnewyork

“We didn’t expect to be raising our granddaughter. We used to talk about moving to the country when we retired. Now we talk about moving to the best school districts. I’m working as much as I can. I worry every day that something will happen to us before she’s grown. I’m going to the gym more. I’m trying to stay healthy. I’m enrolled in a special savings program for her college education. I’ve been adding money to it since the day she was born. Because if something happens to me, the amount doubles.”

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humansofnewyork

(2/3) “We had a company commander in Iraq—let’s call him Captain Johnson. He was in charge of all the medics. He set the rosters, scheduled the convoys, and coordinated with other units. He was also fucking his secretary but that’s less important. We were nine months into our deployment, and Captain Johnson decides to go out on a convoy with us one night. That wasn’t his job. His job was to stay inside his office. But that night he decided that he wanted to go. And during the convoy one of the trucks hits an IED. And guys are screaming ‘go, go, go’ over the radio, and we’re trying to push through the hot spot, and small arms fire keeps bouncing off our vehicles: ‘plink, plink, plink.’ It sounded just like the opening scene in Saving Private Ryan. I hate that movie because they got that sound so perfect. And as soon as we were out of the area, Captain Johnson has us stop on Samarra Bridge to repair the vehicle. And it was so stupid to stop there. Because that bridge was getting blown up every other week. And we’re sitting on that bridge, pointing our M-16’s into the dark, and people are whispering ‘do you hear that?’ And we almost shoot at our own infantry because we don’t know it’s them. And I asked Captain Johnson why he came with us. And he told me: ‘I have two sons at home. I need stories to tell them.’ And I hated him so much in that moment. Because I didn’t want this shit. When I signed up, they told me I’d be working in a hospital. I wanted to be safe, but I wasn’t allowed to be. But he had a choice, and he chose not to be. Just because he wanted war stories.”

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blossomfully
“I hope we last. I hope we do. But if we don’t, this is how I want you to remember me: I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable - only for you though, only for you. Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember the way I was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove the both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs you couldn’t stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too. If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending. Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #132 (via blossomfully)