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CAUTION: SEXUALLY EXPLICIT LGBT AND POLITICAL POSTS BEYOND THIS POST

i work at a children's hospital. as per hospital regulations, all employees have to go through regular fire safety trainings. most of it is pretty standard. and then there's the Baby Vest.

it looks like this:

it fits six babies. and in the event of a fire we're literally supposed to just put it on, fill it with babies, and then evacuate the building.

strapped with multiple babies in holsters like a golden age pirate

Item: Vest of Baby Holsters; allows the wearer to safely transport up to six babies. Also works on any other creatures of Size Class: Tiny, which according to the monster filter I like to use when looking for this sort of thing, includes Wyrmlings, Qasits, Homunculii, and Owls.

As a DM, I would allow for gnomes or halflings to be transported. Nothing is funnier than a barbarian with a gnome wizard in a baby carrier strapped to his chest. Imagine six of them

Step 1: put one of these on your big barbarian and fill with small ones

Step 2: put a very large trench coat on the big barbarian to hide the vest and its contents

Step 3: grab something that lets you increase the number of targets for spells, then bide your time until the moment is right

Step 4: when ready to attack, the big one yells “fly my pretties” and flings the coat wide while the party wizard does the Reduce & Mage Hand trick on the six gnome/halfling barbarians, who activate Berserker Rage in mid-air

70 of the Most Useful Websites on the Internet

1. netflixroulette.net – Find something random to watch on Netflix. 2. pintsinthesun.co.uk – Find somewhere to drink a pint in the sun. 3. favoriteandforget.com – The most useful and educational links on the web, updated daily. 4. fpage.co – Warning: NSFW language. Daily links to enlighten and educate you. 5. ninite.com – Download all the free software you want at the same time. 6. squirt.io – Speed read the web one word at a time. 7. shouldiremoveit.com – Find out which applications you should remove from your computer.  8. avoidhumans.com – Find places to go in public that are not crowded. 9. keybr.com – Practice your touch typing. 10. oldversion.com – Get old versions of software. 11. readability-score.com – Find out how readable text is. 12. deadmansswitch.net – Have emails sent when you die. 13. mint.com – Budget your money. 14. roadtrippers.com – Plan your route with the best lodging and attractions. 15. duckduckgo.com – A search engine that is not following you. 16. padmapper.com – Maps out possible apartments/homes that fit your criteria. 17. zillow.com – Another great source for finding your next home. 18. printfriendly.com – Make any webpage print friendly. 19. printwhatyoulike.com – Print precisely what you want from any webpage.  20. privnote.com – Write a note to someone that will self-destruct after they read it. 21. freecycle.org – A network of people giving away free stuff in their towns. 22. couchsurfing.org – Crash on someone’s couch anywhere in the world. 23. recipepuppy.com – Search for recipes based on the ingredients you have. 24. pipl.com – A search engine for finding people. 25. charitynavigator.org – Evaluates various charities. 26. newsmap.jp – Popular news headlines. 27. radioreference.com – Listen to radio channels across the nation. 28. jimmyr.com – Link aggregator. 29. wolframalpha.com – A computational knowledge engine. 30. heavens-above.com – Follow satellites and constellations. 31. whatismyip.com – Figure out you I.P. address. 32. spreeder.com – Improve reading speed and comprehension. 33. simplynoise.com – Listen to white noise. 34. camelcamelcamel.com – Tracks prices for any product. 35. ptable.com – An interactive periodic table. 36. retailmenot.com – Find coupons for just about anything. 37. searchtempest.com – Search all of craigslist with one search. 38. join.me – Peek in on somebody’s computer screen. 39. thistothat.com – Find out the best way to glue this to that. 40. woorank.com – Find out what your website is missing, how you can improve it, and how to make Google recognize it better. 41. scribblemaps.com – Draw on maps then share them with friends. 42. mailvu.com – Video email. 43. rhymer.com – Online rhyming dictionary. 44. homestyler.com – Design your dream home. 45. wetransfer.com – An easy way to send big files. 46. pastebin.com – A place to paste text. 47. idlekeyboard.com – Make it sound like you are hard at work. 48. dropbox.com – Backup your sensitive document online. 49. seatguru.com – Find out where the best seats are on your plane flight. 50. unlistmy.info – Find out which websites store data about you, and tell them to unlist your info. 51. twofoods.com – Compare two foods.. 52. gasbuddy.com – Find local gas prices. 53. sleepyti.me – Plan out your sleep schedule better. 54. ripetrack.com – Find out when certain fruits are ripe . 55. compassionpit.com – Talk out your problems with others, or help others yourself. 56. paperbackswap.com – Swap books with others. 57. swole.me – Plan out your meals better. 58. weatherspark.com – A graphical look at the weather. 59. network-tools.com – Various network tools. 60. amazon.com – The best place to buy things online. 61. writecheck.com – Correct grammar and check for plagiarism. 62. wakerupper.com – Send yourself a wake-up call. 63. pcpartpicker.com – Plan out your next PC build. 64. nophonetrees.com – Talk to an actual person instead of a machine when you call customer service. 65. loads.in – Find out how long it takes websites to load. 66. calorieking.com – Find nutrition information on various foods. 67. manualslib.com – A database of PDF manuals for various products. 68. eatthismuch.com – Create meal plans to meet your nutrition targets. 69. keepmeout.com – Lock yourself out of time wasting websites. 70. glassdoor.com – Research what it is like to work with certain companies. 

Do you see these two guys? These two are pictures of my friends Gavin and Nick. 

If you look close enough you can see someone’s face behind Nick in the closet. Can you see it? This photo was taken the night they were killed. My friends were just having a sleepover because Nick came back from New York because he was on vacation with his family. The next morning Gavin’s sister found him and Nick’s body in the closet exactly where the face was. The police have no idea how they were killed or who killed them. 

If you don’t reblog this within 10 minutes, the thing that killed Gavin and Nick will appear in your closet in exactly 227 minutes and slaughter you like what it did to my friends. 

This is not fake. 

Oh fluff, this was on the news today.

son of a…

FUCK.

i saw taht n i was like OH SHIT…. i almost fainted

LOL I just want to reblog cause that’s a legit scary picture. Not cause of the warning.

OHHH MY FUCKING GAWDDDDD!!!!!! I WAS LIKE… YEA THIS IS JUST ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE BULL SHIT POST…. SO I TRY TO LOOK FOR THE FACE BEHIND THE CLOSET. AND THEN I FOUND IT. OH SHIT

FUCKING SCARY SHIT ASDFAJSDLK DX

im sorry guys im not taking any chances D;
JESUS CHRIST
fluffing fluff
OKAY DIRECTIONERS I KNOW THIS IS NOT A ONE DIRECTION POST BUT I AM ACTUALLY SCARED FOR MY LIFE… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
holy shit what I’m sorry but holy shit

guys it looks like a mix between chucky and a vampire i’m not reblogging for the warning i just wanted to share that with you

why am i doing this

sorry everyone, I am superstitious and enjoy not being slaughtered

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Dean using salt to ward off demons.

Get the salt!!!! Lol

Dude…. Wow…

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I could care less if I died lol, but here’s to warding against demons

DON’T LEAVE TUMBLR

I know it’s tempting to leave and migrate to Twitter or Deviantart or whatever place to put your content due to the new policies, but DON’T. Let me explain why:

when your space is invaded, do you leave and let them take it? or do you stay because it’s YOUR space.

Leaving Tumblr won’t solve anything. As nonchalant as the staff is, if we leave, the new policy will stay in tact and NOTHING will be fixed.

We have to stay right here and tell the staff to go fuck themselves (Not literally, don’t harass the staff with threats or something) and do whatever we can to let them know their rules ain’t shit. Fix it.

it could take awhile. Weeks, a month, but we HAVE to kill this new policy.

Make petitions, videos, posts, but DO NOT LEAVE TUMBLR until they learn how to fix their shit.

@staff could you actually fix your shit instead of flagging and deleting every depiction of humans regardless of context. I have a blog where pictures of people who are hugging, driving, or just modeling clothes have been flagged and I assume are set to be taken down. I never comment on anything but this is lazy bullshit. 

I agree that people should stay and try and fight this as best they can, but ALL THE SAME. Save things. Archive things on other sites as best as you can. Start deleting your NSFW posts and making sure your blog is as clean as possible. It will be very hard to stay on Tumblr to fight this if they just Thanos snap you right away because you had a single thing that vaguely resembled a female presenting nipple. Fight this bullshit Catholic rule, but don’t be an idiot about it. Backup the stuff that is important to you, and have backup social media platforms so that people can contact you if you or they get purged.

WONDERFUL addition! make sure to save your stuff just to be safe

That is WONDERFUL advice!

Guys! Don’t be scared sheep, and do something!

I’m staying but I got a backup plan just in case.

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Seriously guys goddamnit. Leaving won’t fix anything. Learn to hold your place.

Fight for want you want!!!

YHEA. FIGHT FOR FREEDOM ON TUMBLR so u can do all u want!!!

(We won’t quit! We can fight!!)

Avatar

A better, more positive Tumblr

Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.

Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).  

Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.

So what is changing?

Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.

Why are we doing this?

It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.

So what’s next?

Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.

Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.

Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.

Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.

Jeff D’Onofrio CEO

Us: How about you do something about the child porn and porn bot take-over?

Tumblr: Eh.

Apple: Bye, bitches.

Tumblr: WAIT FUCK NO

This is an accurate description.

Avatar

A better, more positive Tumblr

Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.

Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).  

Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.

So what is changing?

Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.

Why are we doing this?

It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.

So what’s next?

Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.

Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.

Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.

Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.

Jeff D’Onofrio CEO

⚠️Please read if you are a content creator or sex worker!! Adult content will no longer be allowed on tumblr starting December 17th⚠️

I do not give a fuck if this doesn’t suit your blog. Boost this so everyone can prepare and have a backup plan. This is absolute bullshit but they were never supporting us anyway.

And don’t give me “we don’t pay our taxes” because we do. Bye. Thanks for turning into shit Instagram.

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

the first post ever on tumblr

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

reblog this because it shows up every blue moon

I FOUND IT ✊

I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULDNT BE THE ORIGINAL

Who first posted this?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO END WITH A MEME OR SOME SHIT NO IT’S THE REAL ONE OH MY GOD

Wishing I’ll do well on my finals ✨

I KNOW THIS WAS MEANT TO MAKE A POINT BUT OH MY GOD I LOVE IT

WOW the original post that started it all…

Avatar

A better, more positive Tumblr

Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.

Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).  

Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.

So what is changing?

Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.

Why are we doing this?

It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.

So what’s next?

Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.

Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.

Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.

Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.

Jeff D’Onofrio CEO