@imperialinquisition / imperialinquisition.tumblr.com
happy valentines day <3
i really love that there are so many people going "rarity's jewish?" bc of the manischewitz wine cuz i had no clue that was a jewish thing and just picked the most aesthetically pleasing image when i googled "cheap wine". to be clear i think this owns and is really funny. the dress unicorn is keeping kosher.
I miss the era where there'd be outtakes to animated movies like toy story or early 2000s barbie movies that shit was hilarious and so wholesome
me: it's so fucked man they literally made soup tenderqueer. it's like a little bug guy coded thing to do now. and with the rate i shovel that shit down i might as well be getting an adventure zone tattoo and listening to cavetown. fuck man
siberian logger that died when a tree fell on him in 1919, strapped in next to me on the torture racks: я думаю, что ты пидор, да?
He's not trying to be rude, russians are just kinda like that.
The siberian logger: она права, я хочу сосать твой член
I put this in Google translate and got radically different results between English and Romanian.
Call that the Irina Nistor effect.
36 years later and still going strong.
Love you, hon.
Happy anniversary!
Basically: WHY IS ALL THE PUBLIC OUTREACH ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE ALL "YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP ANOTHER PLEASURE OF YOUR LIFE TO FIX CLIMATE CHANGE" and not "SEE LOOK HOW WE'RE RULED BY A GROTESQUELY ILLOGICAL DEATH CULT"
“Can’t have benches; people sleep on those, because we also can’t have affordable housing.”
happy valentines day. make men over six feet tall sit on your lap.
how to solve a rubik’s cube a gay valentine’s/anniversary comic about trying to impress a boy (my now boyfriend) [rbs&follows>likes]
Ah yes, the quiet part, out loud.
"Thank you for an excuse to publicly air my fascist smypathies. Wanting you dead for being trans or Jewish is in bad taste, but if you spoil a video game I'm vindicated in calling for your death, and the death of your people!"
THE FUCKING HYPOCROSY OF THE PHRASE
“if you won’t respect us, we won’t care about your feelings”
You are the one who bought Jews-Are-Evil: The Videogame and gave your money to the Supreme Terf of Terf Island, then got upset over finding out that Professor Pissboy dies at the end.
How can say the phrase “if you won’t respect us, we won’t care about your feelings” completely straight like that, after funding actual bigotry an then getting pissy when the people you have financially participated in the oppression of decide to not be niceys to you
Today in “if you violate the truce, the truce no longer protects you.”
For some reason, everyone keeps being surprised to find out that this goes both ways.
It’s important to recognize the difference between “I’m nitpicking scientific facts because I’m willfully ignoring how suspension of disbelief, fantasy, and sci-fi work and just trying to be obnoxious about how unrealistic this is”, and “I’m nitpicking scientific facts because there are actually some intriguing worldbuilding possibilities if we use them that can add another dimension to the story”, and “I’m nitpicking scientific facts because considering the real-world implications of how this would happen are FUCKING HILARIOUS”
Some days when Pandolf has a particularly long and tempting nose we play Catch The Snout
He thinks it’s a fun game when he sees me coming, because then I’ll change course and pretend I was reaching out for some innocent scritching and he’s like ha. I know what you were about to do. But I’m a swift and astute dog and you can’t defeat me and now you have to scritch my ear
When I do defeat him though, it’s a tragedy. He’s too polite to try to free his snout in any way, and he always looks like he has no idea how to react to this completely unheard-of calamity
I let him go and he jumps away and shakes himself looking vexed, but then immediately brings his nose back within arm’s reach for another round of Catch the Snout
l'waxana troi had the hardest game in the entire galaxy. name a smoother pickup line i'll wait
When I first signed up for electrolysis, the clinic owner told me her whole staff is trans. Cool. I assumed that meant trans femmes, since we're the ones who usually need the facial hair removal, so it only makes sense that some of us will go into the business.
Nope! My electrolysis tech is a trans man with a full beard. Huh.
I like how every reply has unanimously agreed that he's taking the hair for himself. We're all on the same wavelength here.
I'm going to see him again today to continue my electrolysis. On a scale of one to that's weird, how much of a bad idea is it to bring a printout of this comic?
I need to know how this ends.
(I haven't shown him the comic yet. I keep forgetting to prant it)
prant
prant
prant
Update: I still haven't remembered to PRANT it, but since we were talking about beards today I explained the post and comic to him, and he thought it was hilarious. He says he's gonna put it on his wall once I do PRANT it.
Important update: I finally remembered to prant it (I gave up and did it on my own printer, so it was black and white), and the little man is chuffed.
He was giggling the whole time he read the thread, and then once he was done zapping me, he went over to wash his hands and it was still sitting on the counter, and he started laughing again.
Mission accomplished! It only took a few months or so. This is how adhd works. I'm lucky I remember to bring my skin to the "remove hair from skin" appointment.
you should add more exploits to cookie clicker other than the infinite stock market thing
the WHAT
Reblog if u vote :)
I’m curious to see how neurodivergent tumblr is
half hoping put your money on me is literal. tell me more 👀 (@parvuls)
Hee! No, but close! Here are my notes for this fic:
Professional Cuddler. Jack’s anxiety ramps up during the season, he gives in about a snuggler after he gets nagged by someone? Not sure who. He calls 800 number, Bitty shows up. They snuggle. Jack gets the best sleep of life. In the morning the cuddler is gone. Jack starts thinking about him. Bitty hums one night as they snuggle. Jack asks what he’s humming, and bitty sings and sings him to sleep. This goes on for weeks. Jack can't sleep without him on roadies. One day he’s out grocery shopping and runs into his cuddler. Awkwardness ensues. Jack realizes he falling for his cuddler and is devastated when Bitty says he is unavailable. Jack missed him.
I would still love to write this. It's based on a news clip I saw on professional cuddlers. Of course, Bitty is into Jack, but it's also a conflict of interest and unethical to get involved with a client.
cis people are so funny like they’re just out there shaking & cowering in fear bc they can’t tell what gender someone is. relax
