*sniffs air* who unfollowed me

*drinks water once*

me:

will you allow me to share some knowledge with you all even if it makes me sound like a dumb ass stoner

smoking weed out of bong requires all 4 of the elements

Shrek and Han Solo kinda dress the same

sometimes you gotta ‘its not that deep’ yourself

teacher: so who should i call on next

me: 

TIL that you can put peanuts in water and get peanjt watwr amd the..qhrnuou drinkg iut yoh tuen otut fo hevab dde alenarh fjgn hou jusyr corubsdoohd

Oh sorry guys! Slight error typo here, this should read: alenarh fjgn hou jusyr corubsdos.

Apologies again, it should be read

Oh dear! Turns out this should not have been read at all.

dare i say that stuffed animals are one of the single greatest inventions of all time and im thankful every day for the fact that someone thought to make animals but in huggable plush form…..saved me from a lot of bad nights and nightmares as a kid, i love you stuffed animals

 i just wanna thank stuffed animals for existing, thank you for being stuffed pals for all these years

Her tuition so damn high she can wear whatever tf she wants

Spite goals

harry potter is late for class

hurry, potter!

so. uh. we were in Bo Burnham’s movie… Eighth Grade. and here it is. there we are.

Me as a flop musician…

so i asked a friend what was up and she replied with this and i feel like i’m in an episode of the twilight zone

Me- I don’t wanna go to class today. I feel out of it

*classes is cancelled *

Me- God???? Is that you???

Me: I️ don’t want to go to work today

Boss:

(Looks like God’s got both our backs today)

Bless this day ❤️❤️❤️

I swear this post is blessed or something because I said “I want a reason to go somewhere” while looking at this post and then pretty much just after, my mother asked me to go to the store to get some eggs since I used the last 2

Reblog this post to get something you want

“will u marry me?”

“okie dokie”

actually this fucking slaps

I am sorry

i can’t believe this

what the fuck

he told YET ANOTHER sole

I GOT THAT BUT WHAT THE FUCK