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Self Harm Blog

@imdonewithlife13

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How do you tell people? How do you tell them that you’re exhausted even though you slept for 10 hours? How do you tell them that you need a break from talking and smiling and simply being near them? How do you tell them that although you love them, you so desperately need to be alone tonight?

Midnight thoughts (I’m burnt out)

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reblogged
So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.

Attachments (Rainbow Rowell)

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Maybe i did something wrong. Maybe I wasn’t good enough. Maybe he still loved her. Maybe he couldn’t deal with my day to day mood swings. Maybe he didn’t know how much he lit up my day. Maybe he never loved me.

(via lovelyp0et)

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Depression isn’t always crying your mascara off in the shower and playing sad songs in bed. Sometimes it’s not wanting to talk to anyone for days and other times it’s desperately needing to be around people. Sometimes depression is having no appetite even though you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday and sometimes it’s eating everything you have in the fridge. Depression isn’t your boyfriend holding you and telling you that it’s going to be okay. It’s sitting across the table, not eating, having him ask you what’s wrong and knowing that you’re ruining his night because you can’t seem to snap out of it and just be happy. It’s the frustrating feeling of desperately wanting to enjoy something and just fucking be normal for once. It’s keeping things a secret from the people you love because you don’t want them to look at you like you’re broken. No, depression isn’t beautiful black and white images. Depression is lonely and frustrating and mostly just fucking exhausting.

(via tullipsink)

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foxfanqs
wait,“ he paused for a moment, watching as she took careful steps away from him. after she made no attempt of halting, he blurted: “i think i love you again.” his sudden revelation made her stop dead in her tracks. she glanced warily over her shoulder at him, her expression sad. “you love me again?” she asked. quickly, he nodded. “i don’t know what it is or how or why, but i feel something for you again. i think it’s real this time.” with a sigh, she slowly turned to face him. she stared at him for awhile in the darkness, taking in his semi wide eyes and cheerful grin. the longer she stood there in front of him, the more defeated she felt. “love isn’t a feeling you turn on and off. you don’t get to feel it whenever you want.” she turned away from him again and rested her hand on the doorknob. “you don’t love me. you never did.

expert from a book i’ll never write // t.c. (via lilsunflowr)

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I didn’t really understand what it meant at the time, the fierce look in his eyes when we said goodbye. I’m not all too sure I understand now, at least not entirely but I will tell you what I do know. He was the light when I was stuck in the darkest of tunnels, he is the one who guided me through the tunnel and welcomed me with open arms when I got there. I found myself wanting more from our friendship than I was ready for and he had been wanting more for longer than I even knew at the time, he pleaded with me to just let him all the way in but I couldn’t. There was a darkness lingering inside of me like a disease and I didn’t want to inflict it upon him so I told him that I could never love him and he left. I’m still haunted by that fierce look in his eyes when he said goodbye that night. He knew. Oh god, he knew, he understood and he didn’t put up a fight because he knew me, better than anyone, he knew I needed him to accept this lie I’d shoved down his throat. My love, oh my love, I’m so sorry.

A love I was not ready for will always be one of my biggest regrets (via st0lenkissesprettylies)

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ehmehgee
I am so tired of getting my hopes up just to find out that it was just another false alarm.

im scared ill never find what im looking for (via ehmehgee)

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There are ripples of you on the surface of my damaged heart. There are blurry, five-year old images of your constantly quizzical expression, glued onto the inside of my skull. These are heavy burdens firmly rooted in my bones. Like the seeds of old oak trees resting far beneath the soil, these are deep-seated hunger pangs, whispered voices in the walls when I’m dreaming, when I’m finally dreaming. These are violent lashings of nostalgia. I want to bulldoze my heart out of my chest. I want to smash my skull open and rip out the pieces of you that haunt me. I promised myself six million times that I would move on without the weight of you pressing me down. But I have nimble hands and weary muscles. I’m not strong enough to lift the parts of you you left behind and dispose of them. I want to call you sometimes and ask you if you’re ever going to come back for your things, but I don’t think you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

© Kayla Kathawa // CHILDHOOD LOVE (via ninakathawa)