sorry, professor whats his nuts

you all forgot the most important part

I’m glad we all got closure. This is amazing.

Who wouldn’t want to sit with a baby crocodile for a bit?

crocodiles confirmed for cuter than human babies

double confirmed

woah! for real?!

you vaccinate your kids ? i squirt lemon in my son’s eyes to make him stronger against viruses . i activate his fight or flight response . he is so powerful he can now eat entire lemons , peel included .. tell me again how your vaccinated child isn’t inferior ?

😂😂😂😂 because my kid isnt going to die from polio. I could give two shits if she could power down a whole lemon.

my son has been trained to eat polio while your kid struggles to even eat a simple yellow fruit . Pathetic

Omg… your antivax mentality is so deluded that i cannot even begin to explain how you cannot eat polio because your tiny pinhead mind wouldnt be able to process it. Also, literally everything you have said qualifies as child abuse. I hope someone takes your kid away from you so they actually get a chance to live a decent and normal life free of debilitating diseases.

He has mastered laying eggs while your child learns the ABDs , don’t think for a second that they are the same . Your son is 2 ft getting no hoes while my son is 6’4 getting chicks daily . Don’t ever call my head a pin again

and i think to myself…. what a wonderful worm

in fifth grade i drew anime george washington

Human fingers can detect nano-size objects. This means you not only have the ability to feel a tiny bump the size of a large molecule, but if your finger was the size of Earth, you could determine the difference between a house and a car. Source

And yet its still almost impossible to find the end of the tape

cowards. i can already tell the difference between a house and a car

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

@tabbran please add lemon man story to this

PRESENTING LEMON MAN

That was a wild goddamn ride

god this was worth the read

my man went for it

hey WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE THINGS

eels

oh… hello beautifuls….

these wiggly fellas are Anguilla dieffenbachii, or New Zealand longfin eels. the ones in local rivers and preserves are known for being gentle, food-driven little weenies that beg tourists for food.

especially hungry wild specimens have been reported to attack humans and animals by swarming them and ripping off their flesh, but these ones are harmless!

@eelpatrickharris how can you tell them from other freshwater eels, I’m curious? I was looking around, and it seemed like while some are pretty different (some have spots, etc), there were a bunch that looked basically like this. I was thinking American eels, since OPs profile says Texas, but I certainly couldn’t tell for sure.

the size, behavior, and thickness! you see, NZ longfins are known for travelling in herds, and they are big boys. while the majority of anguilla eels grow to 3.3 feet on average—a. rostrata, a. anguilla, a. japonica—longfins can and will grow to 6 feet and over. there have been reports of them growing to 10 feet, but due to overfishing, any specimens like that are long gone.

also, girth. top is a fully grown american eel (4 feet is their absolute maximum, 3 is average), and below is a new zealand longfin who has a few feet to go.

when it comes to mannerisms, you’ll almost never see american eels in groups outside of mating season, when they all migrate to the sea. they’re highly aggressive, distrustful of humans, and bitey. longfins, on the other hand, stick together and act like big water dogs.

it’s a common thing in NZ to have “pet” eels. people will feed scraps of meat to the ones in their local streams, and they’ll start wiggling excitedly when they see you! those eels in the video are just getting really pumped because they think someone has treats. (even though it’s bread, which is bad for them.)

they’re not as scary as they seem. NZ longfin eels just want to be your friend!

(note: this only applies to ones that live in preserves and rivers near civilization. eels from huge lakes and remote areas are generally starving and i don’t recommend trying to be their friend.)

Did Roy ever find his boyfriend?

he did

happy for him

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART THEY ADOPTED A DAUGHTER NAMED TANGO BECAUSE IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO!!!! This is them:

and they even had a book written about them:

Juniper the Fox

me n my gamer gf

gf: (turns her PS4 on) me: babe… you’re so good at video games

i’m going to start a new religion and it’s going to be doing this every sunday for 5 hours

me n my gamer gf

gf: (turns her PS4 on) me: babe… you’re so good at video games