god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass
This doesn’t do the moment justice. He took the swig of vodka, said “I’ll fucking do it darling”, and then ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT in one fucking take
Mood for 2019: “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”
Reblog for Freddie Mercury level belief in yourself this new year!
Take this energy into 2020, y’all, and just fucking do it darlings 💋
Look out friends I know there are so many crochet Baby Yodas out there, and plenty of crochet Baby Yoda patterns, but I’m about to add mine to the mix! As always, if anyone uses this pattern, please link back to my page, and tag me or send me a picture! I’ll always reblog! Like the rest of you, I’m obsessed with this little sweetie and want to see as many as humanly possible!
EDIT: PDF version here thanks to @romeo-wherefore-art-thou
From what I can tell, my pattern is one of the smallest designs out there. So, while lacking in detail (I love the tiny hands and facial features people are able to make!), the trade off is, look how SMOL he sits in my hand! Make a dozen of them! Fill a candy dish with them! Put one in the manger of your Nativity scene!
So, the secret to a tiny Yoda is, in part, using tiny yarn. I had this perfect ball of light green yarn in my stash and I have no idea what it is or where I got it (possibly inherited from my grandma?), but you can see it here compared to the Red Heart Super Saver “Buff Fleck” yarn I used for his coat. Also, for his head and ears, I used a 2.5mm crochet hook, while for the body I used a 3mm crochet hook. I think it makes a difference! I’m vaguely curious if this pattern could scale up, maybe with worsted weight for the head and a chunky yarn for the body?
^ Head:
To make sure his head has a more oval shape, I didn’t do multiple rows of the widest diameter (counter-intuitively, to crochet a sphere, you need multiple rows of the widest diameter, it’s just some property of how the yarn stretches!)
^ Ears:
This is a challenging one since you are working with such few stitches. When making a narrow cone like this, I find it helps to stick my hook into the cup and press it out, to make a more sharp point and better expose the stitches I need to work with.
Sew the ears to each side of the head, making sure they stick out mostly horizontally. Having them too high on the head really changes the silhouette and makes him look less Yoda-like!
^ Coat:
As you can see, I was actually experimenting on his little potato sack at the same time I was working on the head, because I wanted them to have good proportions to each other. I ultimately went with a slightly larger size than you see here. I know in amigurumi often the head is much much bigger than the body, but here I wanted him to still look a bit like he was swimming in his cute little sack.
^ Collar:
This is such a crazy important piece of his costume! I wanted him to look cozy and snug but not TOO tightly wrapped up. I didn’t get a good picture of the collar pre-attached, but it really is so simple:
I would recommend experimenting with the number of stitches though, depending on how tight they are - you want it to be able to wrap around the neck of the coat with a little left over to form the overlap. To attach the collar, I carefully sewed it AROUND THE OUTSIDE of the main body of the cloak, NOT directly to the top of the coat, as then you can’t attach his head!
Here’s the two coat/collar combos I experimented with, which was possible since I attached the collar before I attached the head. I don’t think that’s strictly necessary, as it does make sewing on the head harder because you have to reach down through the collar (making sure the head attached to the coat, not the collar!). But it is doable! (The smaller body had 12 stitches in diameter at the base of the coat, and the smaller collar and half double crochets - I just think it looked more squished and messy.)
As for stuffing his body - I kinda didn’t! there were enough loose ends of the various yarns that basically tucking them in provided enough structure - he doesn’t have any feet (it would be easy to make some though, if you wanted), but he actually stands up great like this!
I mean, he stands up great, but don’t think that means he doesn’t also love to be picked up and held! This is a better view of the back of his collar, which comes up so cute and snug around his ears!
That’s it for Baby Yoda! Good luck and please feel free to ask if you have any questions! If you make a little guy, pleeese share a pic with me! I can’t get enough of him! And, if there is some interest in the pattern for Best Space Dad the Mandalorian, I may write that up later! They are so cute with each other!!
Dildo Generator
Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….
Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).
Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here
the time is now
hell yeah
ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda
it’s called the purple ramjet
which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide
shove a vase up your ass
not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls
i call it the matterhorn
cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through
i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises
of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”
I call this one the Megahorny
Just cram an entire table lamp up there
Me every time this post crosses my dash:
My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.
are you lgbt? if so, how
Yes I am lesbian gay bi and trans. Except for my ankle. When I was dipped in the LGBT Fountain as a babe, the midwife held me there, and now my left ankle is cis and straight
This is the best ‘fuck you, I don’t owe you an explanation of my gender and sexuality’ I’ve seen in a long time.
this is literally one of the 3 weed smorking girlfriends right?? is this blaize??? did blaize buy a house???
ok, let me explain
I’ve never really done anything like this before. I just wanted to make a comic based on the greatest post on this website and I wanted it to become more and more detailed as it went along. It took me a little over a year to finish and it was all made without using a tablet.
Please click on the individual images to get the full experience. Thank you.
Original post by @fuckersupreme
This is the fucking best thing in the entire world. I love this so much!
That post was so ahead of its time
EVERYTIME IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD I WATCH IT AND CRY BEST VIDEO
ITS BACK THANK YOU GOD
This video is a gift.
I want what she’s having.
‘okay calm down deedee’
For example, you can:
OH MY GOD THIS IS LOVE
Update:
AHHHHHHHHHH YASSSSSS
UPDATE:
Everyone who loves this post as much as I do will be very happy to know these two amazing girls are still doing good and just celebrated their two year anniversary back in September. :3
Here’s a pic from Alana’s instagram.
CUTE~~~<3
A Second Much Needed Reblog Update:
This is a message from Alana to all those who love her story.
I am SO watching this. :D
TRAILERRRRR~~~
I can’t wait to watch this! <3
I am in tears holy SHIT this is so sweet and good and cute and it is so nice to see this on my feed cuz everything has been kinda shitty but this… This is sweet.
They dressed up as Kelly and Yorkie from san junipero, my heart
I have this planner with these absolutely ridiculous pages with like “motivational” quotes on them that are just these bullshit things like “Let your heart sing” and “Always believe in your dreams”
and like that’s always struck me as such meaningless bullshit, I’ve always hated those. They’ve never had that element that truly motivates me.
have i seriously lived long enough to experience the resurgence of demotivational posters’s natural evolution into shitposting motivationals
This blog is Dedicated to anyone suffering from Anxiety! Please Follow Us if You Can Relate: ANXIETYPROBLEMS
Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.
Little critter I made as an assignment for class. I call him Bug
reblog if you would do anything to make bug happy
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They don’t look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the goo pile that is now your body”
i’m dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omg
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
