ıt has come to my attention that both washroom and kelsey’s are canadian terms and that is the reason this post didnt reach a wider audience
ok attempt number #2 for my american followers:
me: i need to use the Bathroom
waiter: baby you at an applebee’s, shit anywhere
shajkldhskjladfhjklsdgkljdaghdsajlkgh
Justin: *nukes America* *everyone dies*
Beliebers: #WeStillSupportYouJustin #YoureJustYoung #Justin4President #ButNotInAmericaCauseItsGone #swag
*sitting alone on my bed* *thinks “hm. i can’t keep living like this.”* *keeps living like this*
anonymously forget something about me
When you’re scrolling through Goodreads and see someone post a 1 star rant-review on a book you hated
my parents were arguing today and my mom said that Justin Timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this
Things my dentist has actually said to me:
“Well, either the x-rays lied to me or you are spontaneously creating teeth. I’m going with the second one because it’s way cooler.”
“When was the last time you flossed? Your gums aren’t bleeding which means I’m either not doing this hard enough or you actually floss your teeth regularly”
“You don’t need to do a fluoride treatment I just want to go check my facebook for a second and this is the best excuse I can come up with. Don’t worry your insurance will cover it.”
“Take a whole handful of toothbrushes, I can’t order new ones in less ugly colors until these ones are gone.”
“Remember not to eat or drink anything for a half hour…or actually you know forget that go eat lemons and drink coffee right now. I make money based on peoples bad decisions, you should probably stop brushing your teeth too.”
“I became a dentist because I like making children cry and they don’t let you do that as a regular doctor.”
Chaotic neutral dentist?
ill block you. ill block your whole family. i’ll come to your house. steal your phone. block myself
NOT MISS MARTHA READING DONALD TRUMP YEARS BEFORE HE RAN FOR PRESIDENT???!!!
She went to jail for fucking murdering Donald Trump in front of a live studio audience
I love you Martha
two cents bitch add the whole dollar
