Never let the world slip through your fingers VKR.

The moon doesn't shine in the night. The sun is as dark as a moonless night. My favorite stars where the stars that sparkled in your eyes. Your smile so beautiful your brown eyes I always got lost in them. Your heartbeat going crazy when I'd hugged you. It was amazing spending time with you lost in each other forgetting about all our worries just us in each other's arms.

Heaven is what I had when I was with you.

You see me. I smile and wave at you.

But!!!

You don't see the brokenness or the demons inside.

I can't go through this again, I felt your pain and even you had a limit.

Don't play with my heart.

It's still broken.

If you see me from the road pulled over in that empty roundabout parking lot on my tailgate looking into the water just keep going....

FUCK IM DONE IM SO LOST IM TIRED IM FUCKING DONE IM DONE WITH THIS PAIN IM DONE WITH PUTTING ON A SMILE TO COVER UP THE FUCKING PAIN IM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS PAIN IM JUST SO FUCKING LOST I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO WHAT ELSE TO SAY IM FUCKING DONE HIDING THIS PAIN IM FUCKING DONE WITH ACTING LIKE IM FINE WHEN IM FUCKI G LOSING MY SHIT INSIDE IM DONE WITH PRAYING IM FUCKING DONE WITH IT!!!!!!!

IM JUST FUCKING DONE!!!!!!

I'm tired.

I'm Fine

People ask "What's wrong with him"?

Just a minute a go he was all laughs joking and smiling!?!?!?

He's just fighting his Demons.

I'm fighting my self and no one can see I'm losing the fight.

I said I would fight the world for you I would go to battle to protect you no matter how big the War is I would give you my all and stand up for you!!!

But I'm fighting my own battle. I am my biggest War! Alone!!!! Down on one knee ready to give up but I fight to try to stand with no one around to help me up to help me fight my mind or the voices.

But if I had to fight the world for you as I fight mine then I would stay strong for you!!!

I've tried hard to forget that night all them years ago!!!!

;

I would of moved Mountains to see you.

I would of Made time to talk to you.

I would of given you every minute that I could of to spend with you.

I'm happy to see your doing good.

I'm doing fine.🎭

I know I did you wrong I know I hurt you I know I lied to you I admitted it to you then. Years later and bumped into you from time to time and I ran into you again.

We talked for a few minutes we laughed about old memories and you asked me again if I had lied to you about anything else!!!!!

My smile went away my heart about to explode out of my chest, I know I said I'd never lie to you again but I did and when I said yes your smile left.

You got upset I could see it in your teary eyes.

You asked what I lied to you about. Just when you thought you could trust me again you felt broken and hurt and I just staid quiet.

You asked me again what did I lie about!!!!

I said I'm fine!!!

No one loves with their Heart any more.

They love with their minds.

I laugh and joke with you I'm happy with a big smile but inside I'm hurting deeply.

No matter how big of a smile I put on or how hard I laugh or how happy I may look.

My eyes always tell the truth.