i love it when things stop bothering you. like two months ago i was totally bitter about so many things and now im like “u know what i don’t even care” & that’s a beautiful feeling

this or that tag

tagged by @naomi-stewart ✨

rules: choose between the two options and tag 10 (or more) at the end

coffee or tea 

early bird or night owl (ruined sleep schedule…)

chocolate or vanilla

spring or fall

silver or gold 

pop or alternative

freckles or dimples

snakes or sharks

mountains or fields

thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

ivory or scarlet

flute or lyre

eyes or lips

witch or fairy

opal or diamond

butterflies or honeybees

macarons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten letters

secret garden or secret library

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet

denim or leather

potions or spells

ocean or desert

mermaid or siren

masquerade ball or cocktail party

~ @infruitjuice @intjingoverhere @starcrossed-stardust @zenithofoblivion @a-stardust-tea-please @infj-universe @emocountdracula @intp-the-thinker @bllueart @sociallyawkwardgriffon @imfindingmyownway

@mrs-bonbon @tired-edboy @shockuniverse @qiao-fei-nana @studybucky @jennifairyxx @panpanda128 @lostinpersepolis @ravenclawreign @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses idk if you guys enjoy these types of things, but I love them☺

Are you kidding I love these!

Coffee or tea

Early bird or night owl

Chocolate or vanilla

Spring or fall

Sliver or gold

Pop or alternative

Freakles or dimples

Snakes or sharks

Mountains or fields

Thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

Ivory or scarlet

Flute or lyre

Eyes or lips

Witch or fairy

Opal or diamond

Butterflies or honeybees

Macaroons or eclairs

Typewritten or handwritten letters

Secret garden or secret library

Rooftop or balcony

Spicy or mild

Oprea or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet

Denim or leather

Potions or spells

Ocean or desert

Mermaid or siren

Masquerade ball or cocktail party

I tag: @honeynutpoptarts @the-musical-butterfly @sweetsweetemo @wereallcuriosshere12 @river-waterfall @one-friendly-enby I don’t know ten people on here so that’s all I’m tagging….no pressure to do it guys but it might be fun? ❤️

Tea

Night owl

Vanilla

Spring

Silver

Vanilla

Alternative

Dimples

Sharks

Mountains

Thunderstorm

Greek mythology

Scarlet

Flute

Eyes

Fairy Diamond

Bumblebee

Macaroons

Typewritten

Secret library

Balcony

Spicy

Ballet

London

Monet

Denim

Spell

Ocean

Siren

Masquerade ball

(Lazy, so look up to see the other option I didn’t pick if you want.)

Thanks for the mention!

@not-to-be-a-brit-but-tea @no1no1nos @thegamerboy015 @to-my-better-half @itsthecrazybookworm @dragonsareradguys @bloodofangryman @intpslushi @intjingoverhere @industrial-sized-imagination

thank u kiddo!!!!!!!!!

Coffee or tea

Early bird or night owl

Chocolate or vanilla

Spring or fall

Sliver or gold

Pop or alternative

Freckles or dimples

Snakes or sharks

Mountains or fields

Thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

Ivory or scarlet

Flute or lyre

Eyes or lips

Witch or fairy

Opal or diamond

Butterflies or honeybees

Macaroons or eclairs

Typewritten or handwritten letters

Secret garden or secret library

Rooftop or balcony

Spicy or mild

Opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet

Denim or leather

Potions or spells

Ocean or desert

Mermaid or siren

Masquerade ball or cocktail party

@arak-nophobia @keith-kogained @tkwolf45 @craperonipizza @posyfoot @rincentvanuggh @allofmycleverusernamesaretaken @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

Coffee, night owl, chocolate, BOTH (spring & fall), silver, alternative, dimples, hnng both (snakes & sharks, preferably hybridized and shooting poison), mountains, thunderstorm, BOTH (Greek and Egyptian mythology), ivory, flute, eyes, witch, diamond, butterflies, macarons, handwritten letters (like the ones sent through the mail?), SECRET LIBRARY, balcony, mild, hnnn no solid opinion on the next three, BOTH (denim pants & leather jacket), BOTH (potions & spells), desert (hello, home), mermaid, masquerade ball. 

hehe so @to-my-better-half and @dragonsareradguys tagged me, let’s see… @thegamerboy015 @imaginarysarah @tactlessgoddess y’all are up XD (if you want!) 

Thanks @tkwolf45 for the tag!!! :)

Coffee or tea

Early bird or night owl

Chocolate or vanilla

Spring or fall

Silver or gold

Pop or alternative

Freckles or dimples

Snakes or sharks

Mountains or fields

Thunderstorms or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

Ivory or Scarlet

Flute or Lyre

Eyes or lips

Witch or fairy

Opal or diamond

Butterflies or Honeybees

Macaroons or Eclairs

Typewritten or handwritten letters

Secret garden or secret library

Rooftop or balcony

Spicy or mild

Opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet

Denim or leather

Potions or spells

Ocean or desert

Mermaid or siren

Masquerade ball or cocktail party

@savetheyeemorats @ur-old-friend-darkness @smol-bean-meme-machine @swansong321 @razzledazzlemcwazzle @cityboyswift @lemon-geesus @actuallyprettyodd @ugh-my-mind-snappedt @im-mildly-ok-with-it @smallgargoyle @smudged-whiskers @alexgaskarthfellfromtheceiling :)))

yo uh tea night owl vanilla spring gold pop freckles sharks mountains thunderstorms egyptian ivory lyre eyes witch opal butterflies eclairs handwritten secret library rooftop mild ballet paris van gogh denim spells ocean siren masquerade ball (i cant tag on mobile sorry)

“Small Knife with Sheath” The Ottoman Empire, 18th century. Material: steel, silver, bone, horn, mother-of-pearl, enamel [1359x1920]

is it really that much of a surprise santas reindeer are girls? they have the most lesbian names ive ever heard

“donner” “blitzen” “cupid” “comet” these are lesbians

Santa driving the sleigh: LETS GO LESBIANS

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

Dec 4: Remember that time we learned Clark Kent totally peeked at all his Christmas presents with his X-Ray vision? (Justice League, “Comfort and Joy”)

Because Clark is awesome and loves christmas.

remember that time we learned clark kent is a grown man who still believes santa exists

He’s an alien and a superhero who knows other superheros in a world with a talking telepathic Gorilla, ofc he believes, anything is game.

Thats because Father Christmas/Santa Claus totally DOES exist in the DC universe, and  every year, without fail, Santa fights through Apokolips’ defenses just to give a lump of coal to Darkseid.

He W H A T

The greatest episode of Smallville was the one where Clark stopped Santa from committing suicide and saved Christmas. 

so we can all collectively agree that next year is 20biteen right

Reblog if you agree

Mama Fury on waking up the Avengers.

(Source: Imgur)

LOKI IS FUCKGN DUCT TAPED TO THE BED I SIMPLY CANNOT

I don’t think there will ever come a time when I won’t reblog this.

Forever a fave

What if Bucky hadn’t been captured?

Steve why are you big

#CAN YOU IMAGINE#I’M LAUGHING#STEVE GET YOUR PUNK ASS BACK HERE#suddenly the crowd likes steve a hell of a lot more#“oh this is STEVE” they say#“buchanan’s steve?”#“yeah that steve”#“thought he was littler”#“SO DID I” bucky says “SO DID FUCKING I” (via pageleaf)

The crowd parts like the red fucking sea and Steve just books it out of there because Bucky on the war path is something he’s seen before and even with Super strength and agility and shit that is NOT something he wants to see again.

I have.  A new recliner chair. It’s very comfy. but I am worried.

Mochi. Has decided that the best place to sleep is between my feet on the footrest. and when I have my laptop open I tend to. forget that he’s there.

I am going to dump him onto the floor.

Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow night but Eventually He will end up rudely dumped onto the floor,  like so much salad.

Pictured: a cat unaware of the fate probably rapidly approaching him, despite me telling him three times now. He is too comfy to care.

Question: You dump your salads on the floor? Why?

Comorbid ADHD and carpal tunnel have lead to a disorder that I like to call “clumsy bitch syndrome” wherin if I get distracted or grab something wrong I will just… Drop whatever I’m holding? For some reason my favorite salad bowl is a regular victim. Also happens to piles of laundry, the TV remote, and sometimes knives.

I have a strict policy of never holding babies.

G U E S S   W H A T   I   D I D

Mochi is either very forgiving or very bad at cause and effect.

this is genuinely my favorite post

My tablet’s still busted, but I wanted to do somethin cute for Halloween

Click to see what these silly ghosts are up to~

This is advanced

Holy Shit

Dear Men Writers

Lesser known facts when writing women:

Feel free to add your own.

- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.

- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.

- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.

- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.

-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.

- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.

- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink” - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING

-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief.  If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.

Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.

Yes to all of this.  But also:

If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back.  No.  If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place.  Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds.  There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.

This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible

^^^This though

The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.

GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC.  If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models.  We become squinty.

-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.

-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them.

-women’s nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkin’ knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.

- Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit HURTS.  It’s not sexy to wear a bra that’s “two sizes too small”, it’d make your clothes hang oddly and you’d have a weird, uncomfortable “quad-boob” effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.

Also, after removing a too small bra, there’s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while

-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.

-Lips aren’t just naturally red “as if she’d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she’s so perfect,” my dear little Kvothe from ‘Name of the Wind’. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it’s either perfume or something she’d been eating recently.

I’ve been appreciating this post but now it’s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don’t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience

Is it weird that I’m female and wasn’t aware of a solid third of these?

I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I don’t know half these things despite being a woman

(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.

Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think “oh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right now”. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.

Also: women working out are almost never sexy. They’re not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.

I love this post.

Regarding long hair: there IS a point at which hair can be put up without hairspray and only six bobby pins, but it is approximately 3 feet long, and it needs practice. The first time I put my hair up like that it was very loose and fell out easily.

When you take it down, it doesn’t flow - it remains slightly wrapped around itself like a snake. If you wore two buns Leia style, it comes down in a way that reminds me of a Twi’lek. The more detailed the twisted hairstyle, the more snakes, which is the meaning of the term “locks” also used in dreadlocks.

who keeps giving her these things

she ends up condemned too D:

damn bitch get it together

She’s a Darklord now too

Fun Historical Filipino Facts About Sex and Gender

1) Only women could be spiritual leaders so there were instances of biological men dressing, living, and identifying as women in order to fill spiritual roles, even marrying men. 

Nobody knows if they were 1) transwomen 2) a third gender or 3) the ancient equivalent of drag queens or 4) none of the above.

Records of them were written through the biased lens of early Spanish priests, so we don’t know. Filipino culture today and in ancient times points to being very binary, however, so that needs to be considered–but there are no gendered pronouns in the Filipino languages, so there’s also that. 

2) Penis Piercings

It is recorded that men had dick piercings in pre-colonial times, which were specifically created to pleasure women. It was also a virility thing. 

3) Designated Virginity Remover

Certain tribes in the Philippine islands had a lot of culture centring on sexuality, and one of the elements of that was that there was a specific man in the community who young, unmarried women could go to to experience sex. I can’t find which specific area in the islands this particular community feature was from, though. 

4) Sexually active women

Women were encouraged to be sexually active and pre-marital sex was normal, even encouraged. Abortions were normal, generally when a woman had had about two children, as “they were not cattle”

5) Big Party Celebrating Menstruation

I keep forgetting which tribes and communities did these lol there are so many BUT

In certain communities, a girl’s first menstruation was celebrated with this big to-do where a girl wouldn’t be allowed to touch the ground until the ceremony was done so people would usually carry her, she got to dress fancy and there were some religious elements to her getting her first period

6) No afterlife without sex

This isn’t exactly ace-friendly sadly but it’s pretty consistent with a culture very focused on sexuality

In one of the cultures of pre-colonial Philippines, you couldn’t cross over (which in this case involved taking a boat to the afterlife across the water) if you were a virgin (apart from extenuating circumstances, presumably, like infant death or child death) 

7) Bare breasts were a norm

For most tribes of the Philippines (though largely on the Northern and central end than the South, which may be a result of the earlier Muslim influence, though this is just based on clothing styles) 

This lasted well into the 20th century with certain tribes who had yet to be taken over, and we see it in photographs of these tribespeople taken past the 1900s

Also among certain tribes like the Kalinga, they were bare-topped to show off their tattoos, which were signs of achievement, wealth, and pride

8) Hermaphrodite Goddess of Fertility

Lakampati, Lakapati or Ikapati was the goddess of fertility who was hermaphroditic, seen as a benevolent mother goddess who was the most compassionate of all, and even had a husband and child. Praying to her consisted of leaving a bowl of uncooked rice outside the household as an offering for care and fortune. 

9) God of Fences (and Large Dongs)

Lakambakod, the god of fences and protection, was described as having a “penis as long as a rice stalk” which was “gilded” ie pierced with gold all the way down the schlong. That’s basically his most defining feature. 

10) Women as economic and spiritual leaders

In most of pre-colonial culture, the gender roles were that of men as military and political leaders, but women as spiritual and economic leaders. When it came to datu (military leaders), a datu, who was generally male, could be succeeded by a daughter if he had no son, though a younger son would generally be chosen over an elder daughter.

However, when it came to inheriting property or riches, it was done by age, so an eldest daughter would generally inherit more than her younger brother. 

Women were trade leaders and merchants, with the maritime trade active during that era. Women controlled the finances of the household. 

And when a man married a woman richer than him or in a higher position than him, he would take her name, and be referred to as “the husband of [ ]” in the community. 

Women were strictly the spiritual leaders in many communities, and the only way you could be a spiritual leader when you were born male was to dress, live as, and generally just be a woman in the eyes of the community. 

It wasn’t perfect and it had its own flaws, but I think it’s important to see the kinds of cultures surrounding sex and gender, and how eager patriarchal religious colonisers were to crush that kind of thinking. 

I pulled this info from multiple sources including past museum visits in places that barely have online presence, so I can’t source all of them, THOUGH a lot of these are tackled in this nice little article here: 

intersections . anu . edu . au / issue2/ carolyn2 . html

Can everywhere do this please

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks

Evidence:

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.

And they told you science was no fun.

Science!

I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.

Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.

But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.

you mean like

@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares 

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.

There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

Yeah there is.  The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor.  But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.

Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post

Elves are flat-earthers

This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

This post really was a rollercoaster.

for elves it was a straight line

I’m just gonna leave this here.

Elves can speedrun Middleearth by clipping through the horizon

The fact that the location of the world’s oldest tree has to be kept secret encapsulates everything that’s bad about humanity.

There’s a story about that, actually.

According to the smithsonianmag.com, the world’s oldest bristlecone pine was a nearly 5,000 year old tree later named Prometheus. In 1964, a man named Donald Rusk Currey decided to use an increment borer to determine its age (a process that cuts a small hole into the center of the tree trunk, and is not intended to kill the tree). Unfortunately, the borer got stuck. He and a park ranger cut the tree down to remove the equipment, and when they counted the tree rings, they realized their mistake. Oops. This incident lead to better protection of the remaining bristlecone pines.

There’s some wiggle room about what can be called “the world’s oldest living tree.” The world’s oldest living single tree is the tree that the OP is referring to. Its name is Methuselah,and it is also around 5,000 years old. Since its location is unknown, nobody knows what it looks like. But it might be this tree here:

But technically, it isn’t the oldest living tree. Let me explain.

It turns out that root systems of trees can send up genetically identical saplings (aka clones) via their root systems. Like so:

Which means the original trunk can die, but since the root system is attached to other trees which give it nutrients, it lives on. The root system can theoretically do this indefinitely. So the tree trunks could be fairly young, but the roots could be large and very, very, very old. So the oldest “tree” isn’t a small grove, it’s a logic-defying forest.

I’d like you to meet Pando.

This male quaking aspen covers 106 acres and is ancient. I’m talking an estimate of 80,000 years. The trees you can see are just “shoots” he sent up, and their average age is 130 years old. He is his own forest. If trees could talk, I’d love to hear what he had to say.

He might be dying, due to insects and drought (hmm, wonder what could have happened to cause that). A section of Pando is being studied in an attempt to find a solution. But in the meantime, we can enjoy him for his beauty.

TLDR: Yes please, protect the trees from humans!

THE UNDERSTATED HUMOR OF YOUR PERFECTLY PLACED SIGNAGE CANNOT SAVE YOU

This is clearly a trap of some kind. 

Oftentimes it is difficult for mortals to perceive the areas where the fae realms border their own. Sometimes the benevolent fae will build gates to mark the entrances to their realms, and prevent the less benevolent of their kind from escaping and wrecking terrible havoc in the realm of mortals. Going around these gates will do nothing, you will continue on exactly as you were. But if you step through them, always close the gate. Even if you cannot perceive the hidden realm you have stepped into, it is there, and if you leave the gate open you never know what might follow you out.

(Credit to http://thehairsonthebackofyourneck.tumblr.com)