Halloween film recs for those who don’t like straight up horror

What We Do In The Shadows (2014) - dir. Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi

A mockumentary about four vampire housemates living in New Zealand as they prepare for the annual Unholy Masquerade and deal with a newly turned vampire joining their ranks.

The Love Witch (2016) - dir. Anna Biller

Elaine, a young witch, is desperate to find love but has an unfortunate knack for killing the objects of her desire.

Young Frankenstein (1974) - dir. Mel Brooks

After inheriting his recently deceased grandfather’s castle, neurosurgeon Fredrick Frankenstein travels to Transylvania and decides to carry on his family’s legacy.

Shaun of the Dead (2004) - dir. Edgar Wright

A hapless electronics salesman is forced to get his act together when the zombie apocalypse strikes London.

Practical Magic (1998) - dir. Griffin Dune

After accidentally killing her sister’s abusive boyfriend, Sally Owens is forced to confront her hatred of magic to protect her family from an evil spirit.

Interview with the Vampire (1994) - dir. Neil Jordan

Brad Pitt tells an overly curious reporter about the time he found himself in the middle of a vampiric love square with Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, and 12-year-old Kirsten Dunst, who’s actually a 40-year-old lady.

Beetlejuice (1988) - dir. Tim Burton

Undead newlyweds Adam and Barbara have no luck scarring the Deetz family out of their home and make the terrible mistake of turning to the poltergeist Betelgeuse for help.

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) - dir. Jim Jarmusch

Adam and Eve are vampires who have been married for centuries, though now live apart. While seeing each other in Detroit, their relationship is tested by the appearance of Eve’s sister, Ava.

Obsessed with this French twink and the way he says “keesses”

eez et becauze I ate ze lazt poptärt thees mo'ning??? :(

i will never NOT reblog this

But like this is so sweet though? One of his immediate reactions was to ask if he could fix things. I mean. 😭 So pure.

Legends only

Reblog for wholesome good luck

HIS ENGLISH SUBS MASTERPOST!

Thanks to Jo (@soulmatelines) for alerting me, there's finally a place where His is getting subbed! No longer do we have to wait!!!!

This blog, here, will be uploading subs for the movie, in 6 parts. I'll update this post as each part gets subbed and provide the link to it!

Happy watching!

HIS ENGLISH SUBS MASTERPOST!

Thanks to Jo (@soulmatelines) for alerting me, there's finally a place where His is getting subbed! No longer do we have to wait!!!!

This blog, here, will be uploading subs for the movie, in 6 parts. I'll update this post as each part gets subbed and provide the link to it!

Happy watching!

YOU’RE A WALKING DILDO WITH DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

I feel just a little bit left out sometimes…

“Akoiromantic

Someone who experiences romantic attraction, but doesn’t wish to act upon it or for it to be reciprocated.

e.g., “I had a huge crush on her, but as soon as we got into a relationship, doing romantic things with her felt uncomfortable. I think I might be akoiromantic.””

wait…w-what

I…well fuck

………what, huh, uh, huh?

Aaah!! It makes me happy that this seems to be going around again, and it makes me even more so happy to see people in the tags realizing they might be akoiro/lith!! I’m going to reblog this one with the definition, so everyone if you would, please spread this one around!! Spread awareness for Akoiromantic/Lithromantic!!!!

#they are the definition of enemies to lovers

charlize theron

speaking as a Jewish person, this is incredibly important to me.

Christians in my experience know very little about the culture that is found within the stories of the old testament.

All of our stories are deeply rooted in the time and place that they occured.

Leviticus, for example, was when the Greeks were exploring and coming into contact with us.

They had a tradition of adult men having sexual relationships with boys (ages 12 to 17) as a form of mentorship.

The Hebrew people were like "uh no? Fucking gross." Thus it ended up in our holy texts.

Sodem and gamorah is a big one too.

The smiting that happened there wasn't because of homosexuality, but rather the nonstop eating, drinking, and fucking to the point of ruin.

Basically everyone was so busy with pleasure that the rest of the aspects of life no longer mattered to them. this was both a spiritual disaster and a very literal one for people outside the city who depended on it for goods and services.

so the two stories that Christians hold as anti gay evidence can be summed up in two parts:

- Pedophilia is fucking evil.

- You can't be selfish and just party all the time because then your community will fall apart.

So yeah we have never seen gay stuff as bad and neither did your homie Jesus.

also. We have words in Hebrew for several different genders and many scholars believe that King David was gay.

Peace out, fuckos.

what’s the point of ~sexy~ pajamas? bitch go to sleep

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

I mean. 

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

Joe getting revenge for the love of his life, Nicky 😤

Fear is not consent

I WILL REBLOG THIS FOREVER. F O R E V E R

For those in the back;

FEAR IS NOT CONSENT

I remember when we were in Japan, you said you wanted to get married.

No. Hollywood has an older man problem.

this is so gross

I wish I could remember the name of the actress who went ballistic after being told that, at 35, she was too old to play the love interest for the 55-year-old lead.

It was Maggie Gyllenhall.  And I stand corrected, she was 37.

Damn

Man eating rice, China, 1901-1904

this is an extremely important picture

Ive never seen someone from 1904 having fun omg

He has a nice face

No but the history behind this picture is really interesting

The reason that everyone always looked miserable in old photos wasn’t that they took too long to take. Once photography became widespread it took only seconds to take a picture.

It was because getting your photo taken was treated the same as getting your portrait painted. A very serious occasion meant so thst your descendants would know that ypu existed and what you looked like.

But one time some British dudes went to china to go on an anthropological expedition, and they met some rural Chinese farmers and decided to take their pictures. Now, these people weren’t exposed to the weird culture of the time around getting your photo taken, so this guy just flashed a big grin during the photo because he was told to strike a pose and that’s the pose he wanted to strike.

I think painted portraits and old photos give us the idea that in general people were just really unhappy because those are the visuals we have. This is so refreshing.

Hey, look; “Man Laughing Alone With Rice” is back on my dash.

always reblog Happy Rice Guy. once upon a time, he really enjoyed his lunch, and that’s beautiful.