ilovemydrakey-blog reblogged
ilovemydrakey-blog reblogged
Gervais speaks the truth
ilovemydrakey-blog reblogged
sharitalove
just sit on my face we'll talk about it later
I wish I had a boyfriend who’d say that in the middle of an argument. I’d calm down in an instant.
baby-make-it-hurt
^^^
ilovemydrakey-blog reblogged
mishnunaluna-deactivated2016020
I wanted to kill myself and you were yelling about dirty dishes
12 word story, d.m (via i-need-a-cure) (via pvnkslut)
wow… this just hit me on a very personal level.
(via kiefeon)
This honestly defines my life.
Source: bamhbies
fedswatching
Source: fedswatching
NO FUCK YOU BECAUSE I WAS GOOD ENOUGH AND YOU RUINED ME
Family Guy gets it right for once
youmighthinkimcrazyy
Okay
how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.
like isn’t just like having sex idgi?
vaguelyjewish
This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.
Anonymous asked:
does sex hurt more if you've never masturbated before?
life hurts more if you’ve never masturbated
you can pretend like i dont exist but i still made you whimper like a little bitch when you were about to cum
This would literally be such a great prank.
IMPORTANT
Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”“How about me?”He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.“Your wife.
"Bedtime Story", Jeffrey Whitmore (via certainlyrandomhopefullyprofound)
I am in my first sub drop in two months and I'm very depressed and I feel like if I was Dakota Johnson he would love me better and omg 😭
bound2bsassy-deactivated2015110