@stvksn on ig
i hope your god has asked you for mercy and i hope you've refused to forgive him
is so insanely powerful. that's gonna be seared in my brain for a long time. fuck.
i couldn't reblog this gem so here you go
"won't make hostile mobs based on real animals" my arse. Do they think spiders are some sort of cryptid?
I have important info about cows and feral pigs
If I read something on the asks that feels genuinely threatening or dangerous, or that's actually abusive, I just delete it and block the person.
If I'm answering an ask here you can assume that as far as I'm concerned even if it's apparently threatening or angry, it's meant humorously or with love.
It's never appropriate to dogpile people. Never appropriate to threaten or abuse them, even if you think you are doing it for me and with the best of intentions. Don't.
If you are upset on my behalf, or on behalf of all Tumblr users, just think "this is probably a tone-deaf attempt at humour" and let it go.
Reblogging because I'm seeing people upset or offended on my behalf. To repeat, If I'm answering an ask here you can assume that as far as I'm concerned even if it's apparently threatening or angry, it's meant humorously or with love.
If I think something is actually unpleasant or bad, I'll just block them.
Don't dogpile on my behalf. I don't want you to, I think it's actively a bad idea, and it's bullying. (Remember: it can still be bullying when more than one of you turn up, even when you think you're in the right or the aggrieved party.)
Play nice, never attribute to malice what can easily be attributed to internet-caused text-based tone-deafness or misinterpretation, and everyone will have an easier time.
I have created the worlds shittiest cattio (a small dog crate i have jimmy rigged out the window) and it is a big hit
Congrats on re popularizing the victorian child window cage 😂
FUCK
sometimes neurodivergence questions will be like ‘do you find activities more enjoyable when they are activities you enjoy’ and it really makes me wonder if this ‘neurotypical’ thing has just been a big practical joke all along
Thank goodness someone said it!!!!
The self assessment's questions can be so stupid because neurotypicals have certain traits that overlap but that doesn't make them autistic you know?
So many behaviours are actually normal human behaviour, why do we have to pathologize or other other people?
Sometimes giving a diagnosis seems like a subjective opinion from one doctor, especially when it comes to more nuanced situations (because for higher needs autistics is more cut and dry instead).
sometimes neurodivergence questions will be like ‘do you find activities more enjoyable when they are activities you enjoy’ and it really makes me wonder if this ‘neurotypical’ thing has just been a big practical joke all along
‘do you find it disruptive to your focus when your focus on a task is disrupted suddenly and without warning’ this CANNOT be diagnostic criteria. they are playing us for fools
#LateStageCapitalism
(sigh)
It wasn’t boomers who made it impossible to survive on a librarian or gardener’s salary - it was rich people.
Plenty of boomers work as librarians, teachers, gardeners, and so forth, and are finding that as the cost of living skyrockets and corporations take over more and more of the world, that their salary is no longer able to support them.
And thus you have boomers - who understand how much you want to be a librarian because they also work as librarians - going bankrupt, losing their homes, drowning in debt, and dying because of unaffordable healthcare. And they get why you’re becoming an IT specialist instead of a librarian - because they! Know! That you can’t survive! On a librarian’s salary anymore!
On the flip side, the rich people sucking money out of every service and person they can! Aren’t! Always! Boomers! Tons of them are Gen X! And an increasing number are millennials! I haven’t seen a Gen Z billionaire yet but I’m willing to bet there’s a couple by now!
Oh, and it’s not like they “don’t know” how much people want to do these sorts of jobs - they do! That’s how they justify underpaying people, because it’s your passion, you don’t ~need~ to be paid a living wage for your passion.
You have more in common with poor boomers than you do with Kylie Jenner (born 1997). Go and talk to them. Organize with them. You’ll find they have a lot to offer once you stop dismissing them as rich old folks who ruined the economy.
As someone with a super leftist boomer father I feel this
No cap (literally I hate capitalism) I would run for local office and defund the police in order to create more service members to literally just pick up trash
Checking the water temp. (via)
My cat Slippery watched this video in ABSOLUTE FASCINATION and even tried to TALK TO THE CAT.
[image 1 description: A colored watercolor painting of two daisies. One is growing in the grass and one is growing crookedly out of a pile of rocks next to it. The daisy growing out of the grass says to the other daisy, “you are so strong.“ The other daisy replies, “I’m not strong. I am surviving in a situation I have NO CHOICE over. “
image 2 description: The same two daisies, continuing the conversation. The daisy growing in the grass says to the daisy growing in the rocks, “HAVE YOU TRIED NOT GROWING IN ROCKS? MY COUSIN DIDN’T HAVE THESE PROBLEMS AND HE GROWS IN MULCH. I FIND SUNLIGHT AND WATER REALLY HELP FOR ME.”]
DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one
New City, New Name, Who the Fuck is This?
When Danny had been forced to ditch his dimension, life, name, and home, he'd set his sights on a place so far removed from what he was used to, and a name he was so far removed from, that he would never be reminded of what he left behind.
With Clockwork's help, he constructed a fake Identity, got himself a decent three bedroom apartment, and settled into Gotham. Sure it was a shit hole, a terrible place full of terrible people, but it was so infested with crime that fulfilling his obsession could be easily achieved without ever going ghost.
So he settled in, laid back, and used his first few months to enjoy his new life and adjust. With his coffers as High King, he doesn't have to work, he just fashioned himself an ID as a trust fund baby and moved forward.
Then he gets a knock on his door.
It's Child Protective Services.
They're looking for Eddie Daniel Drake, his new identity. Apparently, his nephews last living parent died and Eddie was listed as the next in line to get the kid.
Problem
This is a fake Identity.
He doesn't have a brother who recently died, and he certainly doesn't have a nephew.
Which means that someone falsified documents, and the're trying to get to the kid.
So.
Shit.
Danny has a kid now.
And given how weirdly attached Bruce Wayne is, and how connected that guy is, he's kinda starting to think that maybe Mr. Wayne has something to do with the falsified documents.
@simplestoryteller
The thing is, the kid is tiny, even in photographs.
Danny's human instincts are blaring, let alone his ghostly ones, which are already booming klaxlons of findprotectdefend and he agrees to meet the kid before he's even fully aware of exactly what it means for him to be doing this.
Whoever's after him is good, to have things set up so well, so quickly after the kid's, Tim's, parents deaths. It probably couldn't compare to the work done by the collective administration of the Infinite Realms and the God of Time for his documents, but the fact that it came pretty damn close was...worrying.
In any case, it's fine. It should be fine. He's already kind of a dad right? And he's surely faced worse than a ten year old orphan.
Sure Danielle ended up more of a sister than a daughter, but again, this kid was already a couple years grown! Had a chronologically experienced life and everything!
How hard could it be?
Tim is very confused. He... Was pretty sure those details were meant to be fake? But he accidentally forged documents to this random stranger.
a random stranger who immediately agreed to take him in. Clearly knowing this was fake. Just because he was a kid who needed help. Which is... A bit mind boggling really.
sojfchjfksjxhd accidental identity unfraud 🤣 Please Tim would try to flee as quickly as possible, realize that fleeing leaves him vulnerable to Being Cared About by Bruce, and then run back the way he came so that at least Batman doesn't have to be emotionally involved sjhxhxjsjdbbdh. I'm dying.
Tim: so you get that this is a scam, right?
"Eddie": *stirs stew* no yeah I got it
Tim: so you don't ACTUALLY have to show up to my parent teacher night. My grades are fine
"Eddie": and your social life? How're you getting along with your classmates?
Tim: uh
Tim: hrm
Tim: funny story
"Eddie": *tastes the soup* Yeah, no dice. Now sit down. I haven't seen you eat anything other than a bag of lays for lunch today so we're having stew. Just because I'm a fake uncle doesn't mean you can get away with zero people to look after you, loser
Tim, 'this house is a nightmare' Drake: *grumbles his way to the table*
Danny just parenting this random teen he got given by accident. He is gonna be the best guardian can! He goes to parenting classes! Online forums. Whatever he can. He will do better than his parents did. And if I'm the way he applied to be a foster? He just likes kids ok.
After a few months, it’s obvious that Tim is thriving in this new environment. His eye bags have almost completely disappeared, he started to actually gain some decent weight, and he’s never bored! Not even for a second!
Sure, his new uncle was suspicious as all hell. Tim had “borrowed” the Batcomputer more than once trying to track down his real name. (His uncle had even said his real name wasn’t Eddie!) But despite his efforts, “Uncle Eddie” was technically in the system, and therefore untraceable. He had all the right paperwork you’d need to live, and nothing more than that.
notes from @zetrashguardian
#danny just stepping up and being a good dad#giving tim the love he deserves#i like to imagine that Danny is willing#and has#threatened batman over tims safety
lmfao can you imagine; Bruce tries to do another mind fuckey test on Tim, only for Danny to show up in the Batcave, eyes glowing, and say in the creepiest, glitchiest voice possible
"If you ever try to do something like this again; I will go to the afterlife and find Jason's soul to drag out of it, just so you can hear him tell you how much like his biological father you are becoming."
Bruce makes normal tests after that.
😭 Danny goes to find Jason anyways -for some reason- only to not find him in the realms and realize that something funky is going on. Eventually, maybe before LoA finds Jason wandering around lost in all the ways and just ¡yoink! Second son that needs even more help!
What if, two for one trip Son deal, Danny yoinks Damian as well as Jason?
Let me be clear, Danny has no clue this stabbly 8 year old is Bruce's kid, he just thinks a creepy ninja death cult is No Place for a Child!
Also the kid is giving off some of the same weird ectoplasm vibes that Jason has that he absolutly need to help with, so its also for his own good! If only he'd stop loosing all of his good knives in Danny...
Dami stops being quite so Stabby once Cujo decides to make an appearence.
Danny putting his shiny new foster licence to good use!!! Obviously once the two are stable he will ask if they want Bruce. He's not a kidnapper! But he needed to make sure they were healthy before dropping them off! Bruce won't trust him with this. Paranoid ass that he is. So healing first, then giving back. If they want to.
Damian had been loudly complaining about being the 'blood son' of Batman. Danny knows. But nope. Not till you are a)healthy. And b) less stabby. I can survive that. Others can't. And your Father hates murder. So stop it!
Jason is... Confused. Like... This guy took him from the LoA. And then cured th pit rage? How? Why? Ohh. To Fuck with B? Ok. He can live with that? Oh, where is the Joker? No one knows? Uh huh. You sure about that?
Danny: I'm sure they will find him eventually! Batman does seem good at that.
Jason: Uh huh. Sure. So, I miss anything else?
Danny: Well! Tim blackmailed ,at man into taking him on as Robin. So there's that.
Jason: He what now?
Danny: Tim should really tell you about it. But yes. He blackmailed Batman. Also, I may have scared him shitless when he tried to Fuck with Tim one time too many.
Jason: ... do I have to go back to him?
Danny: Not if you don't want to? You are nearly 18. And I'm happy to help you set up a new identity. But, you might want to tell Alfred.
Jason: Yeah. Thanks. Hm...
Tim: Uncle Eddie is awesome at fake identities! I still can't find his real one!
Danny: Eh. Enrichment for you! amusement for me!
Jason: How did you get that past B?
Danny: Oh he knows. He just can't do Jack about it!
Jason: .... Teach me your ways!
Danny's going to need a bigger apartment. It was fine when it was him and Tim. Cozy, but fine. Much smaller than what tim was used to, but much better than an empty manor. Now that there's two other boys and a dog in addition to Tim and his very weird 'uncle', "cozy" has become "cramped."
Tim doesbt *say* anything...not directly. But he does keep leaving ads for small houses and bigger apartments in Gotham around the place. All of which have a minimum of 3 bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms. Some have penciled in notes about the area.
Jason brings up crime alley "if its a matter of money being tight." Danny would prefer not, but can sense how important the alley is to Jason (how far into the brainwashing did they get with Jason? Does he want to do a red hood thing? Does he want to do it anyway but for a different reason? Does he become a crime lord vigilante or does he go back to school? Actually ... Danny makes him go back to school. He gets him set up with a new identity as some other relative and gets him into a school with a good language arts and theater program. Maybe danny helps him set up some charity programs in the alley? Tutoring to start and it grows from there?)
Damian demands better accommodations to suite his status as the blood son of batman and heir to his empire....(They're working on it. He's at least sharing a room without attempting murder in the night now.....so... progress!! We love and celebrate baby steps in this household)
Danny does end up dragging the boys around to look for bigger places. He has the cash, and nothing better to spend it on after all. May as well get a decent sized house. With a garden. And privacy.
Danny got them out before they could get too far with the brainwashing for Jason. But he does still have the idea of crime lord/vigilante. Because of you control crime that way, you can cut out a lot of the real nasty stuff.
Jason doesn't even fight going back to school.. He loves it. Really excited to get back into studying. Danny is more than happy to help! And Danny sits with him going over charity plans for the Alley. What would work best. Who do we involve. Jason loves it.
Damian has slowly learned that the world is very different to the one his Mother and Grandfather described. Danny is having to do a lot of talks with him to explain things. Tim is also happy to help. He introduced him to cultural things that would help him blend in. After all. A good assassin can blend in right?
Tim was very pleased that Uncle Eddie finally got the hint! He was just glad the assassin child had shared Eddie's room not his. He definitely wanted the new house to have a workshop for them to tinker in.
I kinda want Danny's ghostly instincts to register that he's basically assembling a Fraid, possibly with the intent (conscious or not) of adding more children considering his foster license, and the appartment starts to settle into being his Haunt (preferably during a particularly domestic moment, like convincing the boys to watch movies with him on the little couch and them finally reaching that point of feeling safe and secure enough that all 3 fall asleep on Danny for the first time).
Or maybe it happens the first night they spend at their new place? Either way, as his Haunt the place they live is flexible enough to meet his Fraid's needs, even if that means internally expanding to provide more room in a way that doesn't quite match the exterior size and layout.
Maybe the change happens slowly and when needed. Keep bumping into eachother while trying to maneuver around the kitchen? Oh look at that, extra counter space!
Danny probably doesn't even truely notice until things start to click into space.
Oh, that would be glorious. His ghost powers taking over. And deciding that as he is clearly nesting he needs to ensure the haunt will always be large enough. So the kids get to live in an expanded by ghost magic house, that can shift and change as it needs to.
Tim would go WILD with theories on this. And Danny would be so embarrassed. Ghost powers, why betray me this way! Ghost instincts are gleeful! All the babies!!!!
After the kids figure out “Eddie’s” powers are the source of their house changing and are the results of his subconscious desires, they start using the changes in the house as a barometer of “Eddie’s” real desires.
Ex. Boys find a new bedroom -“is there something you want to tell us Uncle Eddie?”
It gets worse when they find a door that opens into a Lazarus/hell dimension.
Tim: Why is there a portal to hell in the house!
Danny: Oh. There isn't? It's to the Infinite Realms? Your aunts wanted to meet you.
Tim: You have sisters? Wait! No! Infinite Realms?
Danny: Yeah. The dimension that connects the mortal and immortal realms? You could probably find hell in there. But it isn't hell itself.
Tim: I want to know everything. But also sisters? Aunts!
Danny: Yeah. They are visiting soon. They will love you!
Jason: Why are there more bedrooms?
Danny: I might... Possibly be feeling broody? So the house decided I needed more room in case I uh. Adopted more kids?
Jason: Holy shit. Wait... You can't get pregnant right?
Danny: Um... Not without help no.
Jason: I am not touching that statement. Nope.
Damian: These sisters? Are they like you?
Danny: Well. Ellie is technically my clone? So we are very similar. Jazz is not all that similar. But still great!
Jason: So. There's two of you. Holy Fuck I wanna set you both on B to watch the fireworks!
So instead of Danny and Dani there is Eddie and Ellie? That's going to be very confusing for Bats! He duplicated? No one told him there were more Drakes!
Bonus points: Bruce fears and genuinely respects Jazz in equal measure.
Fears her because she got BATMAN to cave (I will not apologize) and accept therapy from her when she wasn't even trying. It's not so much official and scheduled as it is "Bruce bumped into Jazz without meaning to a few times after the first encounter, until she eventually just dragged him to her actual office and told him that he would be attending at least 4 sessions as a walk in each month" (she keeps an open space in her daily schedule so he can show up any day at random without interrupting any of her actually scheduled appointments, and attendance on the first and 15th of every month is mandatory).
Respects her because she can handle Rogues (and him) as easily as she does civilian patients, and even put Joker in his place without facing any backlash from him. (Mr. Kerr, you do NOT, in fact, have the right to deny others the opportunity to seek professional help working through their problems via therapy instead of turning to crime and a refusal to believe that they have reasonable cause and should be allowed to ask for help, just because YOU do not want that help. If you ever DO genuinely desire therapy, I would be honored to provide my services in helping you work through the traumatic experiences you've endured, but until then, I must ask you politely to leave, as I will not tolerate any attempts to interfere with my patients or turn me into a repeat of what you did to Doctor Quinzel.")
