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I'm about to put my fist in your opinion

@iks-rotarran / iks-rotarran.tumblr.com

hey my name is Irene and I like board games, animals, and making stuff

if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know

  • a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going
  • wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that
  • they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not
  • a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting
  • a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed
  • if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now
  • young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it
  • letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day

I wanna know who did this research.

well, i did!

Horror Game Concept

You play as a dumbass that stays up all night watching murder myseties, and your companion is your equally stupid dog that decides he wants to go out at 2AM, on a literally dark and stormy night in a only-sort-of euclidian suburban neighborhood that backs up into The Mountains.  Your Dog has better sensory perception than you, but terrible judgment, and you have at your disposal:

  • Flashlight that apparently only works for 45 seconds at a time and needs 3 minutes to recharge
  • Cell Phone (12% battery)
  • $6 folding knife you got at walmart for opening boxes, and that you have no training with
  • Bear Mace.  Might be expired.  Might explode if used.

On your walk through the neighborhood you’ll meet such lovely NPCs as:

  • Random guy in shorts wandering between the houses looking for “My girlfriend, Kristin, she drives a black honda”
  • white utility van with no front lisence plate and a broken headlight that’s apparently circling the neighborhood
  • Karen, drunk crying on her front porch.  At 10 PM, that’s not unusual but it’s 2AM and 24 degrees out.  She threw a shoe at you last time you asked what was wrong.
  • The on-and-off sound of someone jogging on the next street over but that stops right before the jogger should come in view. The longer you play, the closer they get before stopping.
  • Rodger’s large and aggressive bloodhound, roaming the neighborhood
  • Something with glowing eyes at the end of the hiking road.  It might be a deer, but it’s awfully tall.

Enjoy such engaging enviornmental effects as:

  • Coyote noises!
  • Shit, those aren’t coyote noises at all!
  • All the lights are on in every single room in that one house with the rowdy kids, but absolutely nobody is home and it’s kind of a mess
  • another neighbor has his front door hanging open
  • a black honda that might belong to “Kristin”, parked half way on a curb right beside the (flooded) creek
  • Loud wind!
  • and by consequence, every goddamn creepy-ass windchime clattering around and deafening you!
  • tumbleweeds that look like wild animals or people in your peripheral vison!
  • Is that the fox screaming or a child being murdered? Who knows! Not you, unless you want to spend more time out here investigating!

Anyway, I just had a terrific time taking the dog out and salting my doors, happy Firday the fucking thirteenth everyone!

Deep Frog

do you think this is what lovecraft meant whenever he described something as being beyond description

“It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster than any subway train—a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes forming and un-forming as pustules of greenish light all over the tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its kind had swept so evilly free of all litter.”

— H. P. Lovecraft,

At the Mountains of Madness

This.. actually makes a fine reference to what a lovecraftian eldritch abomination SHOULD BE. not just.. tentacles and darkness. Perpetually changing, not cemented in form, with an otherworldly feel to it. Completely unrecognizable by most human descriptions, and only able to be viable perceived by those fine enough to be an adept wordsmith.

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Tribbles have picked the wrong man to mess with

[[*TNG theme song plays* *Patrick Stewart runs outside and shouts* YOU MOTHERFCKERS ARE GONNA KILL ALL MY LILIES *shoots guns twice* PEST CONTROL! *TNG theme song*]]

When mom finds out what you’ve been doing.

Can I just say–I love that every Kylo Ren cosplayer I’ve ever seen (at least on tumblr) is down to be fake-punched, lose light saber battles, or pretend to be tossed into the garbage. 

Like…..none of the ones I’ve seen take themselves too seriously. 

Kung fu nuns of Nepal.

Fantastic

These are the Drukpa Buddhist nuns. After the April 25, 2015 earthquake in Nepal, they stayed in devastated areas and helped clear rubble, and provide food and shelter.

This nunnery was inspired to train in kung fu by female martial artists from Vietnam. These nuns defy tradition for Buddhist nuns and eschew domestic work in the service of monks for community service, education and activism. 

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

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If it wasn’t stated outright - it wasn’t said.

This is a requirement of recovery.

This is such a struggle for me right now, but I think this is good advice

holy shit

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Underappreciated mad disciplines:

  • Mad animal husbandry
  • Mad bartending
  • Mad carpentry
  • Mad dentistry
  • Mad embroidery
  • Mad fishing
  • Mad gardening
  • Mad history
  • Mad interior decorating
  • Mad juggling
  • Mad knitting
  • Mad library science
  • Mad musicology
  • Mad nursing (as distinct from being a mad doctor)
  • Mad optometry
  • Mad plumbing
  • Mad quality inspection
  • Mad refereeing
  • Mad statistics
  • Mad typesetting
  • Mad upholstering
  • Mad ventriloquism
  • Mad welding
  • Mad x-ray photography
  • Mad youth program directing
  • Mad zookeeping

so like this is this mad as in really REALLY angry, like Gordon Ramsey mad cooking

or is this mad as in crazy Frankenstein mad, fucked up mind kind of mad

both are applicable  right?

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Are you suggesting that Gordon Ramsay isn’t mad-as-in-Frankenstein?

gotham, s04e05:   Bruce Wayne  -Vs-  Ra’s al Ghul

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It’s good to see that Screamin’ Eyes Bashir rides again.

Every parody of Star Trek TOS: “It appears we’ve once again crossed paths with our old enemy, Emperor Zorblax!”

Every actual episode of Star Trek TOS: “It appears we’ve once again crossed paths with our old enemy…fascism.”