why is @were--ralph tagged on every werewolf post. How do you get a notorious reputation for being a werewolf fucker on the werewolf fucker website

Oh my god.....you.....you don't know do you?

Everyone be quiet

Does this gif mean anything to you?

I cherish the creature

I have drawn your beast

i’m spending today thinking about how saber toothed cats ALSO probably had a potato form.  how they also had a stage where they were fat little babies with very triangle tails and tiny squeaky voices.  how they also probably play wrestled and failed badly at calculating jumps.

i’m going to fistfight god for killing them off before i could personally see fat potato saber kittens

I’ve never considered this before. I will join you in your fistfight against god.

I am not joking I am not exaggerating the thirst on this fucking website for cis dudes w a lil extra fat on their chests... And the insistence on referring to those as titties and boobs and big naturals. Has made me (trans man) feel significantly better about my boobs! Everyone here sees a dude with big ol bazoonkas and goes fucking apeshit. Hell yeah. Men's tits. I got those too! Maybe they're also hot on me! Holy shit! Men's tits!

You guys really like this post huh

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

ps5 brain monday

Oh so THIS is the ps5 post. I can see why you all imprinted on it now that’s hilarious

happy 1 year ps5 brain monday

it’s been 1 year already??? it feels like The PS5 took over this site just yesterday, and it’s already been a year???

There are manmade joys beyond my comprehension, too. The horrors aren’t special.

Marmalade horrors beyond my comprehension

i think queer people should be more confusing actually. i think we should make everyone as confused as possible until they give up and realize that total understanding of other people isnt the gateway to respect and compassion

(for the purposes of this poll, order of pronouns doesn't indicate preference)

Yes there are 64 genders and every time this is reblogged we add 3 more to piss off the transphobes

an incomplete collection of tweets i consider to be short poems

To be fair he did deserve it

They don't know this is an old Emo Phillips bit about the Baptist churches

Asserting dominance over my cat by slapping the red dot and turning off the laser pointer. I can kill it just fine, sounds like a skill issue little buddy.

An idea for reducing the amount of shoveling you might need to do when it snows found on tiktok...cover the stairs with a tarp in advance of a storm coming and just pull the snow covered tarp off.

I advise making sure it's tied down so it doesn't blow away before the weight of the snow can hold it down. Also using a darker color like black is helpful in getting the snow to melt faster as parts of it become exposed to the sun. And be mindful that snow is heavy.

Let's make a dinosaur!

mega post of pictures of my dog because I love him

A few things about me that @angry-pinscher wants to know since they tagged me hehe :)

Nickname: Sära, Clyde, trisäratops

Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 165 cm/ 5'4

Last thing I googled: the name of the rat from Narnia (it's Reepicheep)

Song stuck in my head: "I'd Rather Be Me" from Mean Girls the Musical

Follower count: 37, since I keep blocking all the spam bots

Amount of sleep: way too much because my antidepressants make me extremely tired - it's like 12 - 16 hours these days

Lucky numbers: 7, 17

Dream job: cat.

Wearing: my pyjama which is cow print pants and a red Pullover with a Shakespeare quote

Movies/ Books that summarize me: uhmmm movie "It's kind of a funny story" and books "Das Lied der Träumerin" and "The Midnight Library" I guess. Basically, loads of unused potential and even more teen angst.

Favorite songs: oooof. Here's a playlist I guess: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/66d2wJaLNZhHlpDE4ttutQ?si=H2iCX97KSMOWWMd_dlOvGw

Favorite instrument: E-bass. Love a good run. For things I can actually play, it'd have to be the kazoo for sure, pretty underrated lol

Aesthetic: small boi but also random faerie shit and sometimes queer alt punk

Favorite author: Matt Haig and every queer bitch who writes for the not-cis-male gaze

Currently reading: Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

Favorite colors: black, pink, purple, forest green

Favorite animal noise: cats purring and chirping

Last song: Hurricane - Hamilton OBC

Last series: Malcolm in the Middle and Rick & Morty

Random: while writing this, the song in my head has changed to Toxicity by SOAD hehe

Tagging: @roomforhope @somethingusefulfromflorida @ihaveneverusedthissitebefore let's go luvs!

@onmywaytonarnia I appreciate the tag and though I don’t think I’ll want to fill all this out anytime soon, I will let you know I’m 4’11 and leave you with a picture of my cats ☺️

nowhere else does science like this