animal crossing insect: runs away and jumps into the water

me:

I don’t care why, this is hysterical.

This is the best kind of prank.

No scares, no injury, no property damage, just confuse the hell out of someone.

I’m just dying while thinking about a hotel employee calmly Googling “How to fold a towel in the shape of an elephant,” and then going out to buy eye stickers.

I think these would guarantee return bookings.  Loving the elephant.

I worked in a hotel for a year. Hotel staff LOVE silly requests because otherwise our job is just mundane. It gives the front desk a chance to do something creative.

aaaa this is so lovely

Tried to take a picture of my Christmas tree, and my cat decided it’s the perfect time for a glamor shot

that cat is huge

the cat is sitting on a table not a rug

NICE FORCED PERSPECTIVE

well that neighbor feud took an amusing turn.

I was not expecting this

they have really good art too

…and that’s how I met your mother.

My will to stay alive in games is stronger than it is in real life.

I can't stop laughing at my webcam folder

Sometimes there are pretty selfies like

BUT THEN YOU PRESS “NEXT” AND IT’S LIKE A SURPRISE ATTACK OF THE FUCKING WERE-HAGS

If I don’t stop

I’m going to die

alone

Well actually I have this folder on my computer called “Selfies” And.. it goes from this..

to this.

Now this is

why

I am

SINGLE

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S LIKE YOU GUYS ARE GENDERSWAPPED

UPDATE:

We met in Ansterdam.

I FOUND MY FAVOURITE STORY

Video: Confused Alaskan Malamute Puppy Looks Like a Baby Bear

*very long high-pitched whiny noises are escaping from my mouth right now*

This is all I needed to see in my lifetime. I can go in peace.

We need no gods or kings in Rapture! Only man! Here, a man and woman will be rewarded with the sweat of their brows. Here, without interference, we will prove that society can order itself with unfettered competition, with unfettered free enterprise with unfettered free research! I have scientists in Rapture working on new discoveries from happening till now. Science will advance without the oversight of pompous tyrants who would impose their personal view of ‘morality’ on us. 

Some people aren’t yet aware of YikYak’s new OP badge.

i love purple fedoras and my tits are huge

me except I never stop myself

nate: thanks for saving me. again.

elena: i almost didn’t this time

me: