speechless
Portals to Hell by hrmphfft
marchqueen
IT’S BACK
I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS AGAIN FOR MONTHS
I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW
2ndratehandjob
ITS BACK
This is one of those posts that you need to save and tag or you’ll never see it again for 84 years.
lisassp
hey guys look…i found one of those iconic viral Tumblr posts
Sun Tzu is so fucking funny to me because for his time he was legitimately a brilliant tactician but a bunch of his insight is shit like "if you think you might lose, avoid doing that", "being outnumbered is bad generally", and "consider lying."
My personal favourite is his lengthy lecture on the subject of Supplies Being Very Important I Cannot Stress Enough The Importance Of Protecting Your Supply Lines But Also Supply Lines Are Expensive As Shit So Steal The Enemy’s Supplies At Every Opportunity.
One of the more important things to consider about any historical work is the audience it was published for. The Art Of War was aimed at fancy nobles high on philosophy with little practical military experience who were nonetheless leading armies.
Sun Tzu, after desperatly trying to explain extremely basic logic to a bunch of upper-class twits, basically sat down and wrote the most elaborate "As per my last email" ever
the art of war is tedious and irritating when you read it as like, immortal prose by the most brilliant man ever to kick ass. but it’s incredibly fucking funny when you realize that sun tzu had to write every single one of those entries because someone somewhere did not know this ahead of time and made a really, really expensive oopsie doodles.
wise words
don’t forget this important gem
And this one
sorry but this ai expansion of the descartes portrait is literally so swagful
this was the guy leaving comments on pornhub
"who give a shit"
its hilarious seeing so many people reblog that schlebethany audio clip like "what is HAPPENING on TAZ???" or "is THIS what they're up to these days??" well its simple the employees of an arcade in cyberpunk disneyland who also do crimes are trying to steal a holographic guitar for a man in a cat costume whose identity was stolen by a hologram, and to do so they are competing on an extremely horny dating show. Simple.
the fact that first Justin put Taako, From TV* into a Steeplechase episode, and then once the novelty of that had worn off, put Shrek** into the same episode and spoke exclusively in a Shrek voice for about half an hour, meaning that as soon as the boys moved onto a new area, I was fucking quaking in my boots about who the next NPC could possibly be — only for Justin to decide to play a 5'7 ordinary guy named Justin, because he was just so tired of doing voices and wanted to signal to his family that this guy was unimportant, yet instead somehow incited such an utterly bonkers feral energy in the PCs with that decision that Beef Punchley fucking punched Character!Justin in the face with brass knuckles in front of a security camera, immediately knocking him unconscious and jeopardizing the entire heist, is possibly the single greatest series of consecutive rug pulls in the history of The Adventure Zone
*cast member portraying Taako at Fantasy Disney World for presumably minimum wage
**by Shrek I actually mean Shroog. kiss him and you'll get an "I Smooched Shroog" sticker
Old thing that I don’t think I’ll finish
I liked making up designs for these guys!!
quick what is everyone doing right now
okay reblogging this again just to say that i love love love reading these,, like it's so incredible how we're all doing such vastly different things at the same time...ik it's an obvious thing but it's also insane to think about.
okay I know she is not being entirely forthright about her emotions and I am sure there is more sadness to come, but I am HOWLING over Jester going from ‘finding out her deity isn’t a real god’ to ‘it’s okay Artagan I will teach you how to gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way through cult management’ in <10 seconds, like. icon
utkarsh saying “mr. master, dungeon master, sir,” is so cute
Shout out to Bor’dor ‘kills a woman and collects her blood for a summoning ritual while actively throwing up, all while several people around him experience the effects of the laxative he gave them’ Dog’son
orym saying “I don’t know anything about the titans. I don’t know an eidolon from eyeliner.” and prism saying “I can show you, you would look fantastic.” and orym saying “I believe you.”
deni$e’s face journey as she sees dariax in the scry is incredible
"Many species of polychaetes undergo epitoky whereby sexually immature worms transform into pelagic morphs capable of sexual reproduction. After fertilization, they release their gametes through rapid disintegration." worms are out here having insane sex we can't even comprehend
"what do they mean by disintegrate?" "oh yeah no he fucking disintegrated"
holy SHIT put jonathan “if i have to let my undead wife fuck me into vampirism than as god is my witness i absolutely will” harker in the wife guy hall of fame and give bram stoker a medal of achievement in deranged horniness for this which i think amidst all the weird eroticized terror scenes and all the insane shit about body fluids and penetration is the first thing in this victorian novel i am well and truly shocked to find there. this is…….. SO hot, ESPECIALLY coming immediately after the most explicitly and specifically christian passage in the book thus far, i am genuinely amazed. everyone’s talking about god’s will and judgment day and sacred wafers and jonathan’s taking all this in and deciding: i choose fucking my damned wife into undead eternity. THAT is fucking ROMANCE!!!!!!!!
i’m going to start saying “sorry i was stimming” in an indiana jones voice forever now
Oh no I thought that was just part of the bit uh oh