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This ❤️

Something to remember 

Difficult but a must!

I really needed this

So I just moved to the United States this week right. And the most recent thing I've learned is that 64 ounces.. is quite a fair amount of juice. How did I learn this? By getting 7.5 litres of juice delivered to my hotel.

I didn't think it would be THIS much juice because all of this just cost me 9 dollars at Walmart. I thought it'd be a few tiny bottles at best. Not SEVEN AND A HALF LITRES

Another thing I learned: a family sized pack of Chips Ahoy........ is a lot of fucking cookies

I don't know how to tell you this but I'm Brazilian

I have been called a lot of offensive things but European is something I will not stand for

Hold on I’m Jewish I gotta look some things up

Yeah this is pretty funny

literally what is the logic behind naps leaving you with a weird taste in your mouth. i wasnt eating anything i was sleep

its the spiders isnt it

Not just bread

CALLED OUT!

This is the bad place

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You ever think about how they made the minions immortal so that they wouldn’t have to explain how they reproduce

?? they made the minions immortal???

Yeah it’s like the same 200 minions forever

They also trapped them in the Arctic for a long time so they wouldn’t have to show them working for hitler because canonically they’re evil and serve the most evil master around and they’re clearly ok with serving dictators because they were depicted helping Napoleon so the solution to keep hitler out of the story was just to trap the yellow blobs on an iceberg.

So these things have been alive since the dinosaurs and are basically minor spirits or gods that exist to serve the side of evil and during that whole time they remained grossly incompetent.

Does the universe in despicable me want evil to fail or win? Or are these stupid yellow sexless idiots meant to keep a balance of some kind? Because they do not seem to have a niche in any ecosystem that I know of so their origin must be divine somehow.

since the minions are technically the last of their kind (since they seem to not be able to reproduce) does this mean that they are a protected species?

See, I don’t think that they’re a species. I think that they’re something else. Because everything else in that universe seems to follow ordinary rules of evolution but the same however many hundred minions keep changing their appearance and not dying. I think that the minions were intelligently designed.

Roman, my guy, are you really saying that minions are evidence of a god in despicable me lore?

Not god per se but… something.

Evil vs good. Evil made minions, good made them stupid yellow blobs

So are you positing that maybe they came to be because of some primordial yin/yang type battle between energies in the ocean or something?

But they have to reproduce somehow, there are way more minions in the Despicable Me movies than the Minions movie

there's a blueprint hanging on a wall in the first movie that shows Gru developed a way to create minions out of corn kernels

please i don’t want to learn these things

No one wants to talk about the fact that they worked with Napoleon means the minions canonically participated in the trans Atlantic slave trade

Finally a new observation that doesn’t have to do with corn

Counter Strike: Global Offensive

this guys videos are fucking incredible i really want everyone to watch them

this man is like midas but with knives instead of gold, he can make anything a knife, sicssor knives ,ice knives, cardboard knives, tiny knives if it can be made into a knife he will do it, and if he cant, he will do it anyway because fuck you

This doesn’t even have the best one. One time he made a knife out of ravioli then proceeded to use the knife made out of ravioli to cut up cheese and tomatoes and basil and shit then took the ravioli knife that he had used to cut up his other ingredients and cooked said knife with those ingredients and ate the fucking knife!

nah, his best one? he made a knife out of smoke.

You know how to sharpen smoke? this guy does.

Let’s not forget everything else in his videos.

“Money can’t buy happiness!”

Me:

Sexism? In my racism? Who could have thought?