I feel old and I'm only 22
Ayo, trans people who are worried about passing, i see you and i, to a pretty decent degree, understand you. I have but one set of encouraging words for you on this day: take solace in the fact that your transitioning will never be as shitty as this guy's
Please reblog if you answer; I’d love to see how many old school tumblr users are still around :)
customer service lego lady is kinda bad 🤤
hold on a sec guys phone call
they are putting me down
Ah, I see. Thank you for your honesty. Please, take as much as you need. There will be enough for everyone.
A change of scenery. Simple, but marvelous.
A glimpse into your future, for you brave souls! (Divination is tricky business, tread carefully my dear!)
Knowledge from the universe, eh? Perhaps this will be of interest to you.
Rest for the weary, right this way. It's a personal favourite of mine.
A home-cooked meal you say? I like how you think! A labour of love worth savoring (and sharing with friends!)
Seeking adventure to a far-off place? I know a way to get you there.
✨
I hope you found what you were looking for!
Okay, not to be overdramatic but this is one of those things that makes me feel so in awe and in love with people. OP spent their time making this?? And it's delightful?? And full of compassion and curiosity about strangers on a hellsite. Take what you need, take a breath, enjoy this shared moment of human experience. I did. 💜
my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored
Daddy Electric and Mother Nature sounds like a cute 70s act
the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.
"fun fact!" i cheer, before saying something that is not fun nor a fact
"Fun fact!" I cheer, before saying something so incredibly unhinged and specific that it is fun just for me and barely a fact
Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.
Who makes the porn bots.
Where do they come from. What do
they hope to achieve.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.
do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?
My voice repeats what
you all say: I love you I
love you I love you.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.
oh cool it's decemeber! *grieves & grieves & grieves & grieves &*
this like the difference between adding 2 and subtracting negative 2 to me
Nah it’s like
It doesn’t add any energy, it just temporarily stops your brain from being able to process how tired you are. Which is why you crash later! Because your brain’s receptors wake up and are like “BITCH why didn’t my alarm go off look at all this goddamn paperwork??”
It’s such a weird thing. What we call “tired” is the brain creating a small dose of “tired chemical” every hour or so. Once there’s enough tired chemical, the brain goes into sleep mode to clean itself out (we… think) and it gets rid of all the tired chemical.
This is why you can oversleep and feel tired: the brain has started to make the tired chemical again while you were sleeping. But it’s also why caffeine is so bonkers. Caffeine works by blocking the tired receptor in your brain, so you keep making tired chemical but you don’t know you’re making it.
If you don’t have enough tired chemical, you can introduce diphenhydramine. Diphenhydramine - sold in the U.S. as Benadryl - acts by blocking histamine receptors in the same part of the brain as where the wake-sleep cycle is regulated, so this can make the brain think it’s got a bunch of tired chemical on those receptors. And once the sleep cycle is activated, the body dramatically reduces its histamine response, so the whole meme about “Benadryl: You Can’t Sneeze When You’re Dead” is actually pretty accurate as to how diphenhydramine works.
It also means that if you, say, take twice the recommended dose of diphenhydramine and wash it down with a 16 ounce Red Bull because you’ve got to help your parents who have a dog and a cat move out of their dusty house (and you’re allergic to dogs, cats, and dust), you’re going to be very productive for a couple hours and then you are going to pass out for fourteen hours and have some incredible dreams.
^ That right there is the voice of experience
Spiders. The dreams are disproportionately about spiders. I feel like this is important information to include.
this little nursery rhyme in a primatology textbook someone wrote for her daughter is going to make me burst into tears
often horror will ask the question “what if there was a strange man outside your door?” and my answer is Well i would not like that very much. real life is like this, too
