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@idfka112

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idfka112
cybermax
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moringmark
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runcibility

I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it

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quadriviummuse

I always reblog this one when I see it on my dash. When someone posts their own art, writing, or music here they are really hoping you will share it.

idfka112
alpheolus
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thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001

I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say

reblog if attacking fascism is really the hill you want to die on

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alpine-insurrection

this is literally like one of the most justified and honorable hills you could die on??? lol??

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harostar
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lilithtransrights

Quick someone reply with the gif™️

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burnt-to-cynders
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lilithtransrights
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momusu-saval

Always reblog this if you are cool

idfka112
leahstuff
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seymour-butz-stuff
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sharkangelic

The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters.  The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

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markwateneymemorialcrater

Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.

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markwateneymemorialcrater

I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4

The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.

  1. Sauron.
  2. Isildur
  3. Deagol
  4. Sméagol
  5. Bilbo
  6. Frodo
  7. Samwise
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kaispeakshermind

I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds

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uberguber89

He held it for the rest of of his life!

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animanightmate

[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.

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elidyce

From the ring’s perspective:

1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.

2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.

3. What the fuck is you?

4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.

5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.

6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop. 

7. FUCK

8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally. 

9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt* 

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kelssiel

you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!

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dduane

Heh. :)

idfka112
0nigum0
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chansaw

PSA for new tumblr users!

This place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it!

Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.

This place is not a place of honor... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here.

What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.

The danger is in a particular location... it increases towards a center... the center of danger is here... of a particular size and shape, and below us.

The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.

The danger is to the body, and it can kill.

The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.

The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.

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radwolf76
idfka112
torbooks
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torbooks
Image

"5 Tips for Dating a Werewolf" by TJ Klune

1. If a werewolf has locked onto your scent, it is best to let them get as much of it as they can. If they are in shifted form, it might mean a wet nose to your face or a tongue in your hair. Fear not! They are, in a way, like a large dog, if a large dog were capable of human wants and whims. If you find yourself in such a position, do not move! Let the werewolf finish its scent-marking. It could take anywhere from five minutes to six days, so get comfortable!

2. Should you find yourself in possession of a dead animal left upon your doorstep, don’t scream and/or vomit! Chances are, it is from the same werewolf who sniffed you, wanting to make sure you are provided for. This is how a lycanthrope expresses interest. Be careful not to offend the wolf, as they might be watching from behind a tree or a bush. If you are averse to blood and gore, pretend someone dropped a cherry pie filled with bones on your porch.

(On the off chance that the dead animal was left by a cult and not a werewolf, please be prepared in case you are marked for a ritual sacrifice.)

3. Going on a date with a werewolf can be a fun event! Given that you might be in public, it would be best not to ask your werewolf suitor to “shift in the middle of an Applebee’s just to see if it scares the server into giving free appetizers.” While many people enjoy mozzarella sticks (especially when given under threat of fangs), using your werewolf in such a way to get fried cheese is considered bad form. Your werewolf has feelings, and no one likes to be used.

(If your werewolf does shift to get you cheese, reward them by telling them you think they are the greatest creature in existence. Positive reinforcement goes a long way!)

4. Uh oh. Your werewolf has driven you home, arches a single, devastating eyebrow, and says, “Are you going to invite me inside?”

Remember, werewolves aren’t vampires, meaning they do not need permission to enter your residence. However, good wolves always wait for permission before entering a dwelling that is not their own.

In this case, given the arched eyebrow, the werewolf is hoping to be invited inside for “adult activities.” This might include rolling on the carpet or having sex in the kitchen and/or up against a wall. If you choose to do this, you might see the werewolf’s eyes flashing. Good news! This means the wolf is having a wonderful time.

5. Your wolf stayed the night! How lucky are you? If you wake up the next morning with the shifter lying on top of you, it is very important that you do not move until they have decided to move on their own. Waking up a sleeping wolf can sometimes be difficult work, but if you keep a squeaky ball next to your bed, now is the time to put it to good use. Squeeze it near the wolf’s ear and ask, “Who’s a good boy? Who wants to play with the ball? Is it you? Is it you?” Your wolf will most likely glower at you and threaten your life, but if you squeeze the ball three times, the wolf will be distracted. Throw it to the floor, and as the wolf chases after it, consider making waffles! Werewolves love waffles.

(God help you if you make pancakes. You have been warned.)

If you have survived these first five steps, you are to be commended! That means you most likely will have a werewolf for the rest of your life. A werewolf is a commitment. Adopt, don’t shop!

Learn more
idfka112
jelnzo

He can’t even reach his underbelly… he’s a big blubbery pig

idfka112
skipperdamned
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thechekhov

if you think about it, every time we tranquilize animals to transport them safely to another place, we are the sleep paralysis demon

idfka112
oriandcate
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oriandcate

The List of Raw Quotes from the Internet:

  • “People who value any aspect of creation would do well not to pit gods against one another.”
  • “Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.” 
  • “I will face God and walk backwards into Hell.”
  • “Then perish.”
  • “I have been through Hell and come out singing.”
  • “Do I look like the kind of man who dies?”
  • “Do you think God stays in Heaven because He too lives in fear of what He created?”
  • “To become god is the loneliest achievement of all.”
  • “You kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies.”
  • “This is Hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods.”
  • “Impudent of you to assume that I will meet a mortal end.”
  • “Bury me shallow, I’ll be back.”
  • “Take this gift, for the gods surely won’t.”
  • “One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled.”
  • “Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”
  • “Deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable.”
  • “You cannot kill me in a way that matters.”
  • “Pick a god and pray.”
  • “We deserve a soft epilogue, my love.”
  • “We are the timeline that God has abandoned.”
  • “Pick a Hell and rot there.”
  • “Every day we stray further from God’s light.”
  • “I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”
  • “I’d sell you to Satan for one corn chip.”
  • “The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.”
  • “If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight as I always have.”
  • “I am a monument to all your sins.”
  • “It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook.”
  • “You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, my friend.”
  • “The man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one.”
  • “I don’t believe in divine retribution, but then life throws people like you at me.”
  • “God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.”
  • “The fruits of the earth do not exist to be worth something to us.”
  • “I’ve got a date with destiny, and it ain’t gonna end with a kiss.”
  • “Hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice being held.”
  • “To sit still is to submit to a god who cannot stand to see such power in potentia mere inches from realizing itself and overcoming him.”
  • “That sounds like a you problem.”
  • “…but sadly I am only a little bug and you are a garden.”
  • “In a society where all adventure has been destroyed, the only adventure left is to destroy that society.”
  • “How many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?”
  • “So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.”
  • “…For they are a scoundrel and a foul beast of fields untouched by green.”
  • “Do you not think that Satan, too, has some affection for the inhabitants of Hell?”
  • “Does poetry flourishing even in the cracks and grime of the world devalue its beauty? Is the divine rendered plain when it becomes commonplace? Would you have the sublime subjected to the gatekeeping of a self-serving elite? Better it should be used and misused as us absurd commoners see fit.”
  • “Lock your doors and windows. God will forgive your absence.”
  • “I stand here, a fool of my own making.”
  • “Canon is but the sandbox in which I strike lightning to form glass. Trouble me no more with your quibbling and quorums, lest I grind you to dust beneath my heel and build stories from the remnants of your bones. Avast, foul fiend.”
  • “In the end, everyone is aware of this: nobody keeps any of what he has, and life is only a borrowing of bones.”
  • “’It’s not that deep.’ Maybe not originally, but the ground is soft and I’m ready to dig.”
  • “Ask the moon. Ask what it has witnessed.”
  • “Some things don’t belong on this plane of existence and the universe conspires to correct that.”
  • “Weird is a prerequisite to all things good and entertaining.”
  • “The sunrise has never caught me sleeping.”
  • “People are trying to be right no matter how wrong they are, I am here, accepting my primal desires.”
  • “Swear all you want, but the gods have shut their ears.”
  • “Tis the nature, curse, and cure of humanity to be forever attracted to the abyss.”
  • “If you hit a mole over the head for long and hard enough, eventually it learns to mind its own beeswax. Keep whacking.”
  • “If we built a tower of Babel, in this day and age, no one would stop us. We would build, and build, and one day inevitably breach the gates of heaven. And we would send in a probe, and then an exploratory team, clad in hazmat suits and protective gear, to enter the gates, and lo! before them would be a great, winding mass, a crumbling chitinous mountain range, a swooping winding wormous cavern, pale and sickly and turned to dust. And we will understand why no one stopped us: it will be the exoskeleton of God.”
  • “I must make time fear me most.”
  • “My third eye is open but damn it needs a monocle.”
  • “Some sins follow us, trotting along and planting themselves in dark corners, high shelves, gathering dust like a forgotten potted ficus, forever a part of the inner scenery of our minds. They thrive there. In the dark. Knowing we will someday stumble in. This is why ‘tis unwise to explore the inner chambers of our souls.”
  • “Ideals are made of gold and light, but human lives are made of blood and tears, and spill with slippery ease; choose carefully what hills to build and die upon.”
  • “I shall dig my very own shallow grave. Onward.”
  • “Confidence! A fool’s substitute for intelligence!”
  • “Weird hill to die on, but at least you’re dead.”
  • “Our paths may have crossed briefly, but you’ve still had the misfortune of knowing me.”
  • “What’s a little blood and bone? We all come down to it, in the end.”
  • “I could set the world on fire and call it rain.”
  • “War allows us to dress our monsters up as saviors, and many would say I’m one of those monsters.”
  • “You haven’t learned anything until you learn monsters have nightmares too.”
  • “To live is to haunt.”
  • “Can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding.”
  • “In the future, you will stand at the grave of God which I dug, weeping, and I will be the only creature you will be able to answer to. You will beg for death, but due to what you said today, I will deprive you of that luxury.”
  • “I wanted rain and I thought the best way to do that was to make God cry.”
  • “Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.”
  • “Here’s the thing about a haunted forest: it’s not going to haunt itself.”
  • “Your skull is the garden where fact flowers into meaning.”
  • “I shall use your voice for violin string and serenade your widow.”
  • “If God had wanted you to live he would not have created me.”
  • “I’ve heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering, and tonight I intend to make you very wise.”
  • “If I cannot bend heaven, then I will raise hell.”
  • “Remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the Devil, eventually he may answer.”
  • “No one of honor is interred here. The dead are raw materials, and nothing more.”
  • “That there is a feller what sat down on a snake in the grass one day, and it ain’t crawled outta his asshole yet.”
  • “Pay a man enough and he’ll walk barefoot into Hell.”
  • “All these moments will be lost in time; like tears, in the rain.”
  • “To feel sorrow is to deserve peace.”
  • “No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle.”
  • “There is no light at the end of this tunnel; so it’s a good thing we brought matches.”
  • “The answer to despair is action.”
  • “You’ll be reduced down to a single atom when I’m done with you.”
  • “What’s at the end of a million? Zero, zero, zero; big old hole, with a wall around it. That’s all a bank is, you know: a great big old hole you throw money into, and all it does is seem to make the walls higher.”
  • “Always strive to eat the stars.”
  • “Why would you want to savor the taste of poison?”
  • “The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.”
  • “It is better to die standing than to live kneeling.”
  • “The anger in your heart warms you now, but it will leave you cold in your grave.”
  • “Darkness without light is an abyss; light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.”
  • “We can’t have faith for everybody.”
  • “Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars you won.”
  • “To rend one’s enemies is to view them as objects: hollow of existence and meaning.”
  • “Your soul sparks with a nonsense that makes this world bearable.”
  • “He ain’t one of the creatures God made.”
idfka112
0nigum0
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astriiformes

Frodo may be Bilbo’s actual adopted nephew, but Merry and Pippin are his younger cousins, and Sam is his old gardener’s son whose family he clearly has a soft spot for and who he taught to read and write, and Gimli is the son of one of his old adventuring friends, and Legolas is, similarly, the son of the Elvenking who named him an elf-friend, and we know Aragorn is canonically his friend as well, who he very possibly could have met as a small child in Rivendell when he passed through, so really, like 7/9 members of the Fellowship are people he can employ weird elderly relative (or the honorary equivalent thereof) energy on if he wants to and I think that’s very powerful.

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penny-anna

the fellowship is 7 people who Bilbo Baggins can employ weird elderly relative energy onto PLUS 1 person who can employ weird elderly relative energy onto Bilbo Baggins PLUS Boromir.

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thelxiepia
idfka112
thelaughingspaceman

fingers in his ass sunday

you know what day it is

addicted to fingers in his ass sunday

despite everything…

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doubleca5t

FINGERS IN HIS ASS CHRISTMAS!! 🎄⛄🎅

idfka112
pigturnedfeeder
ramblerpl

PLS REBLOG! MAKE SOMEONE BIGGER!

Finally found this again!  Saw it in my dashboard and didn’t really believe it, but gave it a try the other night and I am INCREDIBLY susceptible to feeling hungry from tapping!  Went from too stuffed to move, to belly literally growling, in moments.  *Blushes red*

Def trying this trick sometime soon☺️

The actually works 😊🐷

hungryfatman

Tap my belly, gently, with our fingertips above my belly button, from the center, to the left side of my belly, and then bring me more food.

Saving this for later!