this is adorable

Shaq (7'1) and Simone Biles (4'9)

When you’re introverted as fuck, and your friend drags you to a party and then leaves you by yourself

I was watching the powerpuff girls on netflix and the show got real way too fast

Wow

puppy mood board

he had to sneeze

omg

Michelle LeVaughn Robinson, girl of the South Side, for the past 25 years, you’ve been not only my wife and mother of my children, you have been my best friend.

When you got invited to the wrong party but you still turnt

#PoC Solidarity

He’s having a BLAST

A Pythagorean cup looks like a normal drinking cup, except that the bowl has a central column in it. It was supposedly invented by Pythagoras of Samos (yes, that one). It allows the user to fill the cup with wine up to a certain level. If the user fills only to that level, the imbiber may enjoy a drink in peace. If, however, the user gets greedy, the cup dumps all the wine into the unfortunate victim’s lap.

Pythagoras sounds like a real asshole.

he was

*actively ignores thinking about my future*

PUN OFF!!!!!!

Here we go @justbadpuns!

I broke up with my girlfriend to become an astronaut.

I told her I needed some space.

That’s weird because my girlfriend is an astronaut! Shes out of this world..

I hope I didn’t make a mistake. Maybe I should Apollo-gize.

Im trying to organise a party for her when she is in space, I just need to planet

Whatever you do, don’t have it on the moon. The food is great but there’s no atmosphere.

She likes to dance so I am going to put on some Neptunes

Meteor-right idea. But you’re not giving this situation enough gravity.

I am believe me I need to find a good place to park when I am there hopefully near a parking meteor

You loon-are you kidding me? You Jupi-turn your keys over to a valet! Otherwise you won’t rocket on the date..

Dont worry about that she is a huge fan of Marvel so to surprise her I have bought her a few comet books to read. I heard that in space they are hard to put down..

Do you want to fly home Han style? Solo. What if she’s already read them? Are you worried that will hit a Thor spot? I mean I guess you just Peter Parked your car where ever you felt like. Hopefully, she won’t think you’re Stark raving mad.

I am loki impressed with your thinking. But with the Banner I have made for her birthday she is bound to think its Groot! One thing though I want us to drink thor her birthday but I just don’t want us to get too hammered..

That’s quite a Gambit. You best S.H.I.E.L.D. yourself from embarrassment. Or just do it like Spider-Man dates and meet up over the web.

I am nothing like Spider-man when it comes to dating! He is only in it to shoot white sticky stuff everywhere. Personally I am a bit like a noun, possessive

See I’m more like a verb, I take action! In conjunction, if you don’t then your relationship might become a simile because it will be LIKE my relationship with your former girlfriend but not AS good.

You had a relationship with my former girlfriend? You are like my two favourite African animals! A lion cheetah!

Aw c’mon! I was just kitten around! Why not be like my favorite African animal, the hyena and laugh it off!

Lets be honest you are just irrelephant! If you want a fight about this lets flamin-go! 

That’s the seal-yist thing I’ve ever heard! This pun-off is just getting Hawk-ward. Do you want to call it a draw before we end up slugging it out? I really don’t want this to become un-bear-able, cuz that’d be grizzly.

Owl be honest I need to go to sleep, this pun-off has been pheasant it’s a Parrot we both did well. I agree on calling it a draw

Wait for it!

literally the clickbait on this website has completely entirely surpassed actual jokes made by bloggers in terms of humor

wow bill nye is a fucking stud