laughing at my own jokes also my life

— Quran, 37 (As-Sāffāt), 25

i am a vegetable medley and god is sautéing me on medium high heat 

headed to target for a dick appointment

was claire’s closed

Dear hearing aid providers: stop only advertising your hearing aids for old people - from a deaf 19 year old who’s used hearing aids since she was 7

Note: you don’t have to use hearing aids, or have any form of hearing loss to be able to reblog this

Deaf people using hearing aids should be as normalized as people with vision loss wearing glasses.

To the spiders in the ceiling corners: you’re keeping your end of the contract, love u honeys catch those tasty flies

To the spiders halfway down the wall and touchin my furniture: you’re on thin fucking ice babes

Everyone talks about how animals can see colors we can’t but I wanna know wtf my dog is smelling for three minutes on the sidewalk

That’s conk creat babey!!!!!

Athena blessed her with the ability to protect herself and men beheaded her for it.

That’s actually a really intetesting intpretation of it I hadn’t thought of. Most people seem to think Athena turned Medusa into a gorgon as punishment for defiling her temple, but thinking that she did so to protect her from being abused again is interesting and I like it!

Athena’s hands were tied. Yes, she was a powerful Goddess, but she was very much a woman in a “boys club”, and the true offending party (don’t think for a moment that Athena blamed Medusa for being raped in the temple, Athena knows better) held all the cards. There was nothing that Athena could do to punish the true criminal, and she was expected to punish Medusa by everyone else. What’s a Goddess to do when she cannot punish those who need to be punished and is expected to punish not only the truly innocent party, but her most beloved follower? Use that incredible brain power she had to protect Medusa at all costs, and of course the men would see it as punishment, to be have her beauty stripped from her and sent to live in the shadows. Medusa should have been KILLED for supposedly defiling the temple, whether she truly did or not, but she was given the gift of life, and the ability to protect herself and her daughters (who she bore thanks to Poseidon). This is why Medusa’s image was used to signify woman’s shelters and safe houses.

Medusa means “guardian; protectress”, and she was.

holy shit.

Feministic mythology is what I’m here for

Sylvia Plath was right

About what?

“Being born a woman is an awful tragedy. Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording —all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night.”

you know when you’re eating something with lettuce and a leaf winds up hanging out your mouth while you’re chewing and for a few seconds you fuse souls with that of a 66 million year old gentle and slow brachiosaurus? love that

the left just wants mass amounts of banana peels placed all over the country so nice straight white boys like me slip on them and fall face-first into a custard pie

Vikki ‘The Back’ Dougan on the streets of Hollywood, 1957. 

Photographed for Time magazine by Ralph Crane.

i make ya man wanna speak spanish

Italian*👼

make ur own sphagetti ass post giada de laurentis

naruto is literally a cautionary tale about staying in the closet cause if his dumbass had just admitted he was head over heels for sasuke the two of them could have left the village and backpacked across the globe while being the hottest literal power couple in all the lands but instead he married the first girl who liked him and got a job in HR he’s not qualified for and a cats-in-the-cradle ass son who’s flunking for attention because dad’s never home and if that doesn’t inspire you to take the plunge and be the gayest bitch you can be I don’t know what will

I’m at Disneyland and I sat down and a lady screamed at me saying it was her spot and then said “there’s a reason you’re alone” this truly is the happiest place on earth.

john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture should be

he literally called her a bitch so let’s raise the standards ladies and gentlemen

the bar is at the earth’s core 

literally fuck you to hell tumblr

This is the first I heard of this guy and I think this is the most dramatically I’ve seen anyone’s words taken out of context in quite a while

when i was in middle school, i got bullied for being a black fall out boy fan.

literally almost every day of my life these idiots would trash my interests and my personality because of my race.

all because “emo music is white culture”.

if you’re a person of color who’s bullied for their “white” interests, i raise my glass to you and wish you have an amazing day. it will get better, you rule.

if you’re white, you can and are encouraged to reblog this. thank you for being kind and wonderful to kids of color.

Also friendly reminder that Pete Wentz, the Fall Out Boy frontman, is half black. Referring to music/art created by POC as “white culture” is racist gatekeeping edgelord nonsense.

i love my mother dearly but ability-wise she frightens me bc not only can she find 20 four leaf clovers within the span of like 2 minutes, everywhere, she can also write her name w/ both hands on a dry erase board or w/e at the exact same time and have both be a mirror image of one another

to add to this: i was making breakfast this morning and i hear “hey milo! look who came to say hello!” and, expecting like, a moth or a frog or something of that nature, i turn and she’s holding a snake

Yer ma’s a witch. Be nice to her

Shirley Temple wrote in her memoirs about a time an MGM producer exposed his genitals to her when she was 12 years old.

Marilyn Monroe once called Hollywood an “overcrowded brothel, a merry-go-round with beds for horses.”

Judy Garland wrote about being groped by the head of the studio when she was 16.

And I could list 100 more stories. This isn’t new. The sordid, lecherous history of Hollywood has been present since it’s inception.

my new year’s resolution is to stop