Bananas have handles

You eat sand! 

i wish i could unsee this

B o i

Good post.

Donald Duck finally gets some goddamn recognition around here.

reblog if you love and respect Donald Duck in your house

*sips respecting Donald juice*

predicable

Your move

Someone’s salty...

Who wants to be the first to tell ‘em?

Reblog this post to wish a non-binary person a good day!

MY BOOOYY!!!

Me: *sloshes into the room slimily and boogishly*

don’t like that

*sloshes boogishly towards you at immense speeds*

*visibly upset*

Canon: and so they never met

Fanfic: here’s a funny story

Canon: There was tension and pining, but they never even kissed.

Fanfic: Actually,

Canon: Torture the cinnamon roll.

Fanfic: Torture the cinnamon roll.

Canon: When they traveled they stayed in separate rooms

Fanfic: AND. THERE. WAS. ONLY. ONE. BED!!!!!

Canon: … and they were roommates.

Fanfic: oh my god, they were roommates…

Canon: They were international assassins who assassinated assassins.

Fanfic: But hot DAMN wait till you hear about this cafe they opened

Canon: They had a coffeeshop

Fanfic: but they were ASSASSINS

Canon: they were mortal enemies and attempted to murder each other on multiple occasions

Fanfic: bUT THEY GOT MARRIED AND ADOPTED CHILDREN

Everytime I reblog this has a new addition and it’s the best

Canon: They were straight

Fanfic: Lol

Canon: Nice slice of life

Fanfic: But dragons

Canon: makes only the characters one dimensional

Fanfic: A C T U A L L Y-

Canon: and there was a love triangle with no way to fix it

Fanfic: **cracks knuckles**

Canon: They hated each other

Fanfic: B u t t h e y w e r e a l s o s e c r e t l y i n l o v e

OH MY GOD THIS HIT A THOUSAND NOTES

Make that 1507

I will cast a spell to make you have a good day

（｡◕ ω ◕)｡)つ━☆・*。

　　                 　°。 *´¨)

　　　　　　　　　.· ´¸ .·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)

　　　　　　　　　　(¸.·´ (¸.·’* ☆

It is done

how... DARE YOU CURSE THIS GOOD DAY!!!

sleepy on main

absolutely fatigued on main

Fucking exhausted on main

Ready to pass out on main

question of the day: with envelopes, do you lick n stick or just fold?

Sometimes I lick it and forget to stick it so I licked it for nothing.

//oh gosh

It’s fine though cuz I like don’t mind the taste :)

//youve lost all my trust

I prefer to deep fry my envelopes and then eat them. What? You don’t do that?

Money itself won’t fix problems. You can’t expect a $ 100 to be your condom

But it could be used to gain solutions to those problems. Like using $100 to buy many condoms

or you could buy one condom and sprinkle $99 across the bed and have sex on a pile of money, then spend that money and try to keep a straight face as you hand it to cashiers

c h a o t i c e v i l

If I leave large tips with the sex money instead can I get my chaotic neutral ranking back?

Can you keep a straight face whilst tipping sex money? (Never thought I’d say that sentence before.)

Money itself won’t fix problems. You can’t expect a $ 100 to be your condom

But it could be used to gain solutions to those problems. Like using $100 to buy many condoms

or you could buy one condom and sprinkle $99 across the bed and have sex on a pile of money, then spend that money and try to keep a straight face as you hand it to cashiers

c h a o t i c e v i l