It’s almost fall you know that means we will all be needing some

dont bring this back

I waited an entire year to make this post.  It’s coming back.

It’s that time of year again!

Anemone song

You know damn well she had three papers and a midterm due the next day

art

Talented

MYSTERY STORY TIME

So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.

And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.

Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.

Me: This isn’t your kiwi?

Roommate: No?

Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.

Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.

Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!

As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.

But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store? 

So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.

Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.

There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.

It came all the way from Italy and this is how you welcome it

I can’t believe a humble security guard saved our planet from the aliens.

fake conversations in your head of you venting to someone

hi im a cashew white guy and I’m gonna say a slur to be funny because fuck political correctness

i just realized that autocorrect changed cishet to cashew I’m going to bed

why did I not question “cashew” as a type of white guy tho

found batman forever on my front lawn

there are some dvds in the ditch at the end of my front lawn

could these be the missing batman films?

no, it’s superman 3 and 4

theyre both superman 3 and 4

the plot thickens

?

???

????????

i neglected to mention it in the original post, but the original dvd case i found only contained 1 dvd that included the films batman forever and batman and robin while the other 2 movies in the series batman and batman returns were missing

this morning i saw something in front of my neghbours house across the street from me

it was what looked like a dvd

again i thought

maybe its the missing batman films

or maybe its 3 dvds

oh

its 3 more copies of batman forever/batman and robin

great

WHO IS DOING THIS

no idea what this movie even fucking is

blu-ray this time? fancy.

what are these supposed to be

oh

well ive been meaning to see rogue one sometime

wonder if theyll still work

MY MOM IS BEING TARGETED TOO

so

i should probably be dating each update to this but i guess the original reblogs have their dates included

perhaps i could analyze the data and find a pattern

for now i have 2 more superman quadrilogies

interestingly enough inside one of the superman movie cases was actually 3 dvds

there was another copy of superman ¾

if you recall in a previous update i had already found 3 discs of superman ¾

the count has gone up to 6 superman ¾ discs while only just today finding 2 superman ½ discs

who owns these dvds all in bulk

why are they being separated only to be disposed of in pairs or threes in front of my house

im sorry this has been such an obscenely long post but i have a feeling its only going to get longer from here on out

MOTHER OF GOD

ARE YOU FUCKIN

OH GOD ITS BACK

DEAR GOD THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TUMBLR POSTS IN EXISTENCE.

YOU THINK JUST THE NOISE IS FUNNY AND FITS WITH THE GIF REALLY WELL

BUT THEN

THEN

THE LYRICS START

seriously i have almost crashed my car into a telephone pole, becuase I suddenly thought of this post and started laughing uncontrollably

Yesterday may have been the day Squidward went to the future....

But today is the grand opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2!

I can’t believe Spongebob locked Squidward in the freezer so he wouldn’t have any competition for the manager’s position at the Krusty Krab 2.

If I was a font I would be Times News Roman as I am average af

“you look tired, are you???“  “no, im just ugly”

i am that person who constantly jiggles their leg i’m s orry

I am deceased

I can’t wait to use * not click bait* in real life

I’m what the kids call

ready to fucking die

merry crisis everyone

god

this cured me