Two more weeks of full-stack bootcamp with _CodeOp

I am sad that this amazing journey is coming to an end. My part-time cohort just finished wrapping up and presenting our final project, which was a group project. Let me just add that there was no way in hell did any of us would have believed that the group phase would be a hundred times more difficult than the solo MVP phase in the first project!

So What’ s next? 

These next 2 weeks are focused on polishing our LinkedIn, how to write a proper CV, Cover Letter, practicing a technical interview, and what we need to do in order to land our first developer job.

In terms of self-development, the first thing I’m doing is decompressing for 3 days and I will go back into focus mode on Monday. Self-care is super important after cramming in 3 weeks with a group to create an entirely functioning app.

My plan for Monday to hash out my next learning phases:

- Finish UX/UI course

- Figma mockups

- Work on Responsive Pages, Finish FreeCodeCamp Certs

- Learn to design for Mobile responsive first 

- Finish QA full-stack Engineering course

- Finish my Python automation course

- Three.js

- Fiber.js

- Mobile Lang: React Native, Kotlin, Java, Swift

- Backend tech: Go lang, Ruby: Odin Project, Python, Php

- Small 20 min-1hr projects 

- Continue with code challenges daily

- Plan for my next big collab proj with my friends from _CodeOp :) 

I’m extremely burnt out, but this journey has been the most amazing experience in my life in terms of education. Well minus studying in Dresden, that was pretty insane too haha. I’m so grateful to the people in my cohort, and the TAs, instructors, staff and CEO of _CodeOp for providing such a welcoming and safe environment to learn, even though at times we all wanted to just throw our hands up and quit. The people I  met in my cohort, have motivated me to work even harder, and some have even became close friends that I will cherish for the times to come. 

This is a sad closure but also a very hopeful beginning of something even more amazing built on this incredible adventure. Let’s go :)

The power of Magic

https://youtu.be/j8KL63r9Zcw

As we get older, it seems like we lose touch with the simple things that hold a lot of meaning. There’s a common saying that goes along the lines of “put away with childish ideas”. But as we get older, we don’t realize or expect the world, or rather, reality to be such a cold and unwelcoming place. You become alienated and a bit lonelier than you remembered, and people stray off to have their own lives. With that in mind, we tend to long for something comforting for ourselves, and usually in the form of nostalgia. As adults we forget what meaning “magic” holds in our lives, and the feelings it brings along with it when we need it most. The use of “magic” in this context is meant in projecting the essence of something being magical, or awe felt.

I’m not religious, and I do not care for Christianity but I can respect traditions and spirituality. Especially during Christmas time in Germany. This past winter, I was very lucky to have won a week intensive trip to study German in Dresden, Germany. I have been to Germany before this and am familiar with certain traditions but this would be the first time visiting during Winter and Christmas. I love experiencing moments like these because they invoke strong emotions from the young and old. And it brings people together tied by a common bond, whether they are family or not. 

I was a bit worried I wouldn’t like Dresden with the political issues going on with the AFD (conservative right-wing) demonstrations that took place several weeks before I got there. But my German teacher reassured me that I’d be safer there than in NYC. When I got there, and explored the city....It was like being transported to a whole other universe....or reality....I was taken away by the Altstadt (Old City) where the opera house and the famous bridge linked to Neuestadt (New City). The breathtaking skyline was like staring at a neoclassical painting of clouds in real time! And in the courtyard where the Zwinger was, there was a solo violinist who daringly played in the frigid weather to accompany the spectacular sight! My heart wept for the first time to an experience of pure beauty invoked by that time I spent in that place. And it’s a feeling I’ll always cherish. The other incredible experience I felt was walking towards Dresden Striezelmarkt, which is their main town square and where the main Weihnachtsmarkt was located. As I walked up before crossing to the entrance of it, the town’s church was performing Ave Maria with a female vocalist. I suddenly stopped moving, and embraced the heavenly music and sounds of the song. For a few minutes, I was taken away and lost in the pure magic of listening to this while near the town square with several hundred others. The trip was definitely a life changing experience in taking things slow and to truly live in the moment of the small things that makes life amazing. Every time I listen to this song now, it brings me back and I love it so much.

Dear future Self from past self.

It’s ok to shut everyone out once in a while and hide underneath the covers until another day. It’s ok to ask for hugs and it’s not selfish to want them. Don’t be afraid to ask people to be there. And it‘s ok to take care of yourself before handling someone else.

Writing Prompt: Find a photo you like or are nostalgic about and free write.

I went through almost all my photos that I kept from the years that meant the most to me and somehow selected this one without hesitating. This was during my Freshmen year of high school, towards the end of it, right around softball season. I remember exactly when because of the people in the photo and my hairstyle at that time. You can’t see it very clear in the photo but the front of my hair is slightly tapered and spiked into three small spikes. This was about a month or two after one of my good friends passed away from taking her own life with a gun to the face. She was the one who got me to join softball, even though I’ve never played in my life, nor did I really cared for it. But she was there and so were several of my other close friends at the time. She was also the first person to befriend me when I joined volleyball and automatically made me feel part of the team when I was still a bit shy back then. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have been able to find the courage to do a lot of the things I’ve accomplished throughout my life. My friends and I went through so much group therapy together for several months into the next school year....and it was making things worse for us rather than helping. So we ended up cutting class and school to just get some fresh air away from people who were trying to get us help to deal with our loss. At that point, we were just angry, sad, frustrated, and emotionally torn up inside. Even years later, visiting her grave, doesn’t make it any easier. That sort of pain leaves a hole in your heart and lingers. Up until several years ago, another friend of mine who came with me, was also close to her, informed me of some things I wasn’t aware of back then, and it distorted my memory of her in a way I really did not want to....and that hurts even more than going back to the actual event. Because now it feels like the memory of her has been tainted or soiled....

#nostalgia #backtobasics

To be "free"

What does it mean?....a continuation thought exercise...

Working Short Story ...

2012 Copyright

by Donna Chin

It’s the day of my daughter’s fifth birthday, and the family is preparing for her big party tonight. The day is still young and early, and I’m still laying in bed daydreaming.  As the sun glazes throughout the rooms of the house with its crystal rays, I can hear my wife moving about and shouting to my son, “Don’t forget to pick up the cake on your way home after the game! Do you want a reminder later?”

The front door slams with a loud BAM on his way out for his soccer game.  My head began to ache from the reverberating sound of the door.  I’ve had a long week at work and I have no intention of getting up anytime soon.  I try to close my eyes and enjoy some peace and quiet for a few more minutes.  All of a sudden, the wooden floors started to rumble from my daughter running through the hallway, thump, thump, thump, thump, with her tiny feet.  The next thing I know she comes into the bedroom and dives right into the bed.  The blanket looked a bit funny with her squirming her way up through the covers.  When she finally reached me, my daughter began to squeal with a dimple to her smile, “Hee! Sleeping Beauty Daddy!”

With half a sleeping eye opened, I could catch a glimpse of her.   The sunlight from the window was highlighting her face as it made the summer sheets look slightly translucent and into a light orange color.I felt a gentle smile on my face, as my daughter decided to pin her head down and snuggle right into my shoulder like a puppy. 

I suppose she’s suggesting it’s time for me to wake up.  With a long sigh and slight chuckle, I realized something horrible…I forgot to get my daughter a birthday present.

Enjoy the ride

You can either let the things in life dictate and run it for you...Or you can take the carefree approach and adapt to whatever it is that comes your way, the best you can. I think people tend to freak out over small things that don't really matter in the long run. I'm not sure whether it's a distraction mechanism in which they're not aware of...or if this is a default setting in their personality. Whatever this "desire" to make up problems that are not beneficial nor relevant to the moment...is just interesting to observe.

Excerpt from Journal.

When I took my first proper drawing class in college, my Intro to Visual Arts instructor, Martha, was very informative. She had a way to explain very complex thoughts, and ideas of art theory into application for the every day commoner. She'd be able to break them down into concepts that the brain was able to grasp even when these ideas were intangible.

For instance, when you draw or sketch, you are always encouraged to "not break the line," or to never erase your mistakes. I loved this simple concept/guideline. Like most things, I try to take them and apply them to my every day life so that I am actively learning, understanding, and always evolving. You can't go back in life to change things that have already been done. Not realistically anyway. Whatever mark you've made is forever there. It is the part of "where do you go from there," that I really think is fascinating about the living. 

There are millions of choices an individual can make, or not make at all. Not breaking the line is one of the hardest discipline exercises an artist endures in their fundamental skills. It is an extremely sado-masochistic practice, as with most mental intensive exercises.

Instinctively, and habitually, we as humans will always break the line. Unless you have perfected this skill, 99% of the time, YOU WILL  break the line. It's learning things like this, during every waking moment, that makes me not want to sleep. I don't want to miss out on a fantastic thought. No matter where my head is at, I am always in a pensive state, It cannot be helped. My brain is constantly racing at a million thoughts within a short span of time, which makes it extremely hard to relax and to just sit down for a single moment.  Even as I'm writing this, I am brainstorming my next HOPE project, and self-portrait series, simultaneously!

Dear soul....

Keep writing...write every day....even when you don't feel like it...just keep doing what you've been doing...you're doing great. Love,

The mind.

Letter to....Grandpa.....

Dear Grandpa...

I guess it is a little silly and stupid to ask how you're doing, huh? ....But usually that's how we usually start off our conversations....Think the last time I've asked you that when you were alive was when the Yankees game was about to come on...and Uncle Ming was eager to watch it with you. I just wanted to let you know I miss you...it's gonna be ten years now? ...I'm beginning to lose count and have really lost track of time these days.

The pain lingers within me....and still stings at the thought of you not being around...and it feels like an empty well in me...especially when I just want to be around you to calm down. Even if it was just sitting in silence while you watched your baseball games.  You knew that talking wasn't what I needed and offered me the much needed silence instead.

I cherished that mutual understanding...And you knew when to interrupt my train of thought to cheer me up with a sweet bun, tea to snack on. I wanted to let you know that I have been doing a lot better these years ......I no longer feel the urge to do unspeakable things to myself to just be "okay", nor am I smoking, or drinking in "that" state anymore. I've found training year round has helped put me back on a level headed road. There is still a lot of anger, pain, suffering, and sadness to sift through....but I don't think about as much these days, maybe once in a while they will come out...like today.... but I have found listening to, and playing music is helping me bring myself back to my senses. And avoiding people who try to abuse me emotionally has definitely helped immensely. I don't ever want to be near people like that, it is toxic and I find it can heavily influence my "triggers" which I do not want to ever happen again. I'm enjoying everything more and to its fullest. As I've mentioned this past summer, I did the Spartan Race with my gym buddy Nicky. We did very well for our group and despite the sprained ankle, I toughed out the entire race and did not let one obstacle beat me. I'm doing another one in June with Rafael. It should be a positive experience. I'm pushing myself harder (moreso than usual),and I feel proud about it. I'm going out more and meeting some very new good-hearted people, as well as reconnecting with some old friends who I am grateful for and didn't realize how much I needed. Having them around feels like "home". And I'm in a very decent point of life. I hope this puts a smile on your face Grandpa....to know that I'm finally realizing that I am okay after all these years. I love you, and always thinking of making you proud of me for just being okay with myself. Your loving Granddaughter.

My booktree :)