Me still seeing porn on my dash on December 17th

So pretty.

This is the greatest video I’ve ever seen in my life

this will be played at my funeral thanks

This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving.

AaaAAAAaaaahhhhhh!!!

i’ll never love again

Hereditary (2018) [dir. Ari Aster]

We’re getting Smash Bros Ultimate, but at what cost?

Hillæo

HiLLæoo

Mood

@tomfordvelvetorchid

turn the sound on for the love of god

this was the single greatest moment in modern television

I JUST CHOKED ON MY WATER

Me on September 1st

a very good article

‘It makes me so sad for the world, because the questions I keep getting asked are “Are these guys really that nice? Are they really that awesome?” 

My response is always “No. They’re even better than what you get to see on TV.”‘

to remember how many feet there are in a mile, u just gotta use 5 tomatoes

five to-mate-oes sounds like five, two, eight, 0 and there’s 5280 feet in a mile

To remember how many meters there are in a kilometre you just remember “1000” because the system of measurement in the rest of the world wasn’t invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice.

WOW THIS ONE IS TOO CLOSE

simon’s friends: why did you do it, simon?

simon: I was closeted and not ready to come out and martin was threatening to out me to the entire school if I didn’t help him slightly inconvenience you

simon’s friends: okay but wHY

simon:

Leah: you were setting me up to get my heart broken!

Simon, a clueless gay who had no idea she was in love with him:

martin: I didn’t think people still did shit like that

simon, a gay with common sense and eyes:

this…this is what i get angry and rant about when im super drunk

ok even though i don’t know drunk me very well, i feel like she stated this very eloquently

She said this so well, I’m so shook.

She took the words right out of my mouth