life is fair, because it's unfair to everyone

if a guy is hitting on u and he is clearly the alpha in his group of guys.. go for the third in command and undermine their whole power structure

Oh god, I used this tactic so often. Because in most cases I was trying to pull dudes for my friends, rather than myself. You figure out who their leader is, go for #3 or #4 in the group, who is generally much cuter and a bit more shy. This is why he ranks high, but not too high. You go hard on this dude. You hold his hand and smile at him. You don’t even have to go further. Dude #3 is just bewildered you brushed off #1. This makes the dude at the top antsy. It causes dissent in the ranks. Your friends can now swoop in, picking from the remaining dudes as they start to scatter in the wind. They have lost all sense of self. You have secured free drinks for the rest of the night. And whatever else your genitals desire.

She broke that shit down so beautifully

women are masterminds and i love it

Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You (via wordsnquotes)

Today at therapy was really hard. I was sitting here crying, and generally being miserable, when I felt a nudge at my knee. I looked down to see that Zeus, my service dog, was doing his job… and brought me a potato. it is very hard to cry with a gift of potato.

Remember this? I’m having a rough time right now. Zeus has a solution.

That would be an empty pill bottle, the *correct* pill bottle, a bottle of embossing powder, and two, TWO potatoes.

You’re worth at least 2 potato to him and that’s pretty special imo.

I would just like to remind you all that *I don’t own any potatoes* and I have no clue where he’s getting them from.

this is the 2016 apology post. reblog in 45 seconds and 2016 will apologize to you in the form of money.

not risking it.

Not even scrolling past it

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

(x)

I’m dead at his face in the last one like “Did you even try?”

And then when he gets pushed he’s like “Wait no let him try!”

his composure is just everything I aspire to be

OMG IT’S BACK!

CHARLES IS THE BEST OMG

Like how he stands there as if, “Okay, I’ll be perfectly still and we’ll see if you can hit me this time. Come on, it is like I’m giving you a head start.” He’s more annoyed with his cuff link than the wanna be assassin.

FOREVER REBLOGGING THIS.

THIS is how you deal with terrorists

Even if you go down you did it with dignity.

You all do know who his mother is right? You know the woman who stayed home during the bombing of London and drove Jeeps in WW2. They are trained to be final boss overlord level composed at age 2.

U don’t fuck with the Queen

His sister, Princess Anne, was the victim of an attempted kidnapping. The guy pointed a gun at her and told her to get out her car. She replied: “Not bloody likely.” And tried to kick him.

soft-jason-todd

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

DRAG HIM

SHE DID THAT

She did T H A T

LOOK AT THIS LEGEND 

Isn’t it weird that there are people out there with no medical issues, no mental health issues, no personality disorders. Healthy people who get the occasional cold and feel like it’s the end of the world. Normal people who wake up and have a strong, healthy, happy body and brain. People who don’t have to take medication everyday to keep their medical issues at bay, and that don’t have to see someone every week to keep their brain from exploding. Foreign concept.

Caitlyn Siehl, What We Buried (via wordsnquotes)

// the best nights of our lives j.d.m. (via poetryandthesea)

I’m astounded by the privilege of people who disdainfully look at me at say, “I don’t like relying on pills.”

Yeah, well, me either but I don’t have the luxury of being able to survive without them.

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

this is why baseball is my favorite. you have to be superhuman to do baseball.

This is so disturbing.

I’m not sure about the source, but I’ll give credit…

So modern love is constant communication. your grandma looks at you from over the table where your phone is underneath and says “you’re always texting that boy” and you nod and say yes yes I’m sorry and you put away the phone but when you hear the text tone your heart beats with it. modern love is call me when you get home so I know you’re safe. it’s phone calls stretching hundreds of miles where it’s 2am in one place and 3 pm in the other but maybe it’s like you’re in the same room because his voice in your ear sends butterflies to your stomach and you’re so in this for the long run. modern love is instagram posts with the caption “found my happiness and it’s him” and everyone laughs at the corniness of it all but wishes for love that picture perfect. modern love is a dozen heart emojis and a “good morning beautiful” every day like clockwork. so modern love isn’t like old love. it doesn’t make it not love. it just makes it something new.

apparently Lady Gaga is only 5'1 and somehow I feel lied to

look

oh

she literally built a brand on wearing 10 inch heels how the hell did yall not deduce this

Caitlyn Siehl (via wordsnquotes)

Thermochromic table by Jay Watson

imagine banging someone on that table

imagine being home alone and seeing imprints on that table

noooooo stop

Imagine having a friend sit at that table for a long while, but when they get up there’s no imprints at all.

What if you got up after trying to console a crying friend, and found that you had no imprints… and they were crying because they missed you?

Andrea Gibson (via wordsnquotes)

Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer (via wordsnquotes)