There’s a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.
@townofcan Why would leave this masterpiece in the notes
My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:
Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.
I like this so much better than the idea that our ancestors would be embarrassed or ashamed of us for being “soft” or some crap like that.
fantasyboudicca
My ancestors, watching me stuff my face with fried chicken while studying: She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar. WE MADE IT
She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar
villainous-queer
My ancestors watching me use my stand mixer while living in a small apartment and attending university: Thou hast kneadeth bread in FOUR hail marys??? FOUR??? And thou ist poor as a churchmouse, yet liveth in a fine cottage with four pounds butter and fresh berries in thy larder!! And two featherbeds! And thou attendeth the King’s college, as a lord!!
My ancestors being like:
Look at this fine young lady! She can paint she can sew and embrody, she sings and read
And without a wealthy father to pay for that, plus she is florid in the body! She doesn’t know hunger!
We did it!
Me: /wearily studying/
My Ancestors: TRULY SH— what? They? A little unorthodox, but reasonable I suppose. TRULY THEY PROSPER, FOR THEY LIVE IN A DWELLING WITH MANY ROOMS AND ONLY THEIR SPOUSE TO SHARE IT WITH! THEY HAVE DOGS WHO DO NOT PERFORM A FUNCTION! THEY HAVE MANY BOOKS AND DO NOT HAVE TO SPIN THEIR OWN YARN! THEY BATHE AT A WHIM WITH GENTLE SOAP FREE OF LYE! OUR DESCENDANT BRINGS HONOR AND PRIDE TO OUR LINEAGE!
Me: /yawns and sips my coffee/
My Ancestors: /cheer wildly/
Restroom sign used in 2012 at Nintendo of America’s offices. Note that the silhouette paired up with Peach is that of Luigi, instead of Mario as would be expected.
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Dudes, wanna see a really messed up picture? I have NO idea how the camera managed to screw up this bad.
future trio has a normal day
i can't think of a funny caption, but this inspired me to make some of my new favorite art so thank you
INTENSELY fond of the extra-scrungy Cringenoir
Scientists have taught bingus to send emails
Top tier take
It’s honestly wild how many times my friends would be like “did you know people were saying this about you?” And I was like. No.
most fucked up fact about evangelion is when its revealed that the giant robots are actually really big regular guys and the red stuff that comes out of them when they get hit isnt cooling fluid or whatever its like actual human blood. second most fucked evangelion fact is that shinji’s netflix VA has a karkat themed twitter account
i should clarify that i endorse this fully and i hope they never change their layout. seeing a verified karkat twitter account and then seeing THAT fucking pinned tweet is like taking two consecutive punches to the throat and i mean this positively
Anonymous asked:
Panera has just released a line of swimsuits that say only SOUP in huge letters on them and I thought of you
PANERA? BREAD??
yeah
https://swimsoups.com
remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp
pupppylover-deactivated20181221
Director Brad Bird talks about how they came up with the name for “Ratatouille”
He’s so great
why does this sound like a mcelroy bit
it’s
FRENCH
it’s
FOOD
and it has
RAT
in it
