*crying in lack of self-control*

no one:

not a soul:

absolutely zero (0) people:

my ed: you look like this

I’m so fucked if anyone I know sees this blog

You never know what people have to go home to, always be kind.

back to school reminders:

3 months

It takes 3 months to make a drastic change to your appearance. By September you can be at your goal weight. By October you can dress in that Halloween costume you were waiting to wear until you lost the weight. By November you can wear big sweaters and cute socks and look ADORABLE. By December you can actually enjoy the holidays and not be concerned about that extra fat you used to carry around. By January, you can cross out “lose weight” from your New Year’s resolution because you were disciplined enough to get to your goal weight a long time ago. Just imagine where you could be if you just stick to your plans for the next 3 months.

HUGE MOTIVATOR

Friend: do you want to get something to eat?

Me: no thanks I’m going to eat when I get home

*later when I get home*

My mom: Do you want something to eat?

Me: No thanks I ate with my friend

Midnight in the kitchen while everyone else is asleep:

Best addition to this post by far

Repeat after me:

eating disorders are defined by a persons disordered thoughts and eating habits, not their weight or appearance

I posted this three times tonight and had three people tell me that I helped save their life. Thank you to those people who have decided to struggle through to let us enjoy the gift of one more day of their prescence gracing us all. I hope that you all reblog this, to save another few. Because we all dserve another chance and hope in life. I went to the hospital 6 times before I decided to keep my life but I hope none of you suffer that much. And I hope you all can make that scary, seemingly painful, blind, hoping, wonderful step to live.

I want to help you in any way I can. ANYTHING. I mean it. If I had had someone stay with me and text me or talk to me all night, just one time, it would have changed my life. I know how hard those nights can be.

<3,

Love,

Emily

^I love this girl more than words can express.  

foundmywaywheniwaslost: I am always here if anyone ever needs to talk/vent. You have a purpose, Please Stay Alive. <3

Not just for tonight but for the rest of your life. You have so much to look forward to in the future that if you choose to kill yourself, it will be the biggest mistake of your life. You’re going to miss out on people you’ll never be able to meet, kids you’ll never have, a partner to love or partys to go to. There’s just too much that you’ll miss out on. You deserve and have the right to be here as much as the person next to you does. You’re just a drop in the ocean. You were meant to be here and you have a purpose. Don’t ever forget that. And if you feel like you don’t, just believe in yourself because you do. If you ever feel worthless or like shit, know that I love you and those dicks that tell you shit are jealous that you’re who you are because there’s something about you that they wish they could have. Please stay strong and never give up because things DO GET BETTER.

3rd time I reblog this xx

Keep your self awake, I hope your here to stay. This day is not yet over, let me be your four leaf clover.

Reblogged it and queued it so it’ll post tomorrow too. And the next day and the next so I hope I can save someone. We all love you.

someone messaged me this morning saying it helped and thanked me, so im reblogging this again, and queuing it. stay strong guys. 

I reblog this whenever I see it. If you don’t reblog it, unfollow me right now. If you don’t care enough to put this simple picture on your blog, I’m judging you.

The very first time that I reblogged this, I had someone message me the next day saying that because of me, they didn’t kill themself. From then on whenever I see anything like this on Tumblr it’s an instant reblog for me. After receiving that message it just changed something in me. Whenever anyone I see on my dash is having thoughts of self-harm or even suicide, I automatically go to their page and offer them even just an ear to listen. Nearly all of them I receive messages back from saying that they are grateful, and they end up sharing their story with me, and in return I give them advice as best I can. Several of them have said that their lives have gotten much better because they opened up and sought out help.

Out of those people, I’d say at least 5  have even gone so far as to say that they didn’t kill themself because of me. That is, I kid you not, the best feeling in the world.

I needed this reminder. 

anyone else kinda wanna look sick??? like people will say “oh if you starve yourself you’re gonna look like a corpse”,,,, like fucking good that’s what i want??? leave me alone janice

I want to get killed in some unfortunate accident so my family don’t have to deal with my suicide.

Please signal boost this, this is a real candidate currently running who excuses pedophilia and white supremacy but disapproves of gay marriage. He has made chatrooms for pedophiles and white supremists, fetishizes his THREE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER and advocates for the legalization of child pornography. This is sick. Please spread this, there’s not enough notes on this.

This is vile

Snopes backs this up. This guy is one sick bastard.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/nathan-larson-candidate/

God I work in his district. Help me

Don’t scroll past this.

Reblog to let your followers know that they should never start cutting.

I know this website makes it seem like that shit is normal but trust me, it’s not. And once you start, you’ll never really start and it will haunt you for life.

It never gets easier, it never stops hurting, it isn’t (and will never be) “cool” or “the only way out”

Please don’t start. If you already are cutting, tell sometime and get help, it’s not as scary as it seems and you will be better off by it.

If even one person reads this… Please. You matter.

Don’t start.

Please

^^^^^^^

It doesn’t matter if this is relevant

to your blog. You see this, you reblog. This is such and important message and as someone who has scars, that I regret alot, too IT’S NOT WORTH IT. 1-877-332-7333

this is some of my memes that i just did ( for the rights, this is my real account : bonyandwide but unfortunately i can only ask and submit with my main blog :( )

@bonyandwide Thanks for them memes -a

the only thing i knew about sex at the age of nine was that

1) it was for mommies and daddies who were married;

2) it made me, my five year old sister, and my baby brother.

i learned everything i knew about sex from the internet while secretly browsing grownup sites on my 4th generation ipod touch i earned for doing so well at a piano recital. because of the nature of, you know, men and their internet porn, i learned that my sexual role as a woman was to be slapped and pissed on and tied up. i didn’t know what healthy sex was. i didn’t know it should be mutually consensual, or that it was okay to want sex with girls. i didn’t know that sex should be good for both people. i learned that sex would hurt, and that sex was about men and men only, and that i would be forced into sex whether i liked it or not, and that it was normal to have sex with big, burly, grown men as a teenager. i learned it was normal to cry during sex. i was scared of sex for so many years because of that, and the way i was exposed to sex at a young age led to the inappropriate and traumatic sexual encounters i had (occasionally with older people) later on in my teen years.

the day i got my first period, i was ten-and-a-half. i was swimming in the river with my best friend, and when i got out to go to the bathroom, i noticed brown blood on the inside of my mint-green tankini bottom. i knew what a period was, but i hid it from my mother in shame. she found out, eventually, of course. she told me, you have a woman’s body now, and if you have sex, you could have a baby. all i heard was, you have a woman’s body.

i started shaving my vulva when i was eleven, because i saw memes on memegenerator about how disgusting “hairy pussy” was. i wanted to be sexy. i was eleven years old, and all i wanted was to be sexy. it hurt, and it itched, and it made me uncomfortable, and i’d sometimes nick my labia with the razor, but i did it anyway, because i didn’t want to have a nasty, “hairy pussy.”

eleven was the age i first started getting pinched on the EL. i was an early bloomer: i had B-cup breasts already, and my menstrual cycle was regular enough that i could keep a calendar. i started wearing a full face of makeup to school and buying shorts that rode all the way up my skinny twelve-year-old thighs. i remember the day i stopped jumping off the swings the summer after fifth grade. skinned knees weren’t sexy. smooth, flawless legs were sexy, and i was a sexy girl. i was probably the sexiest little girl in the whole world. my parents hated it. they told me i was too young, but i knew the truth. my body was older, maybe 17 or 18, so my brain must be, too.

when i was twelve, i had a secret kik account that my parents didn’t know about. i used it to message strangers. i made all sorts of friends. i wasn’t stupid. i used a fake name. never showed my face. one of my friends asked me for a bra picture. i was a cool girl, right, i was sexy, so i sent him a picture of me in front of my bedroom mirror in my little white training bra with the blue butterflies.

sexy, he said.

that was all i wanted.

i’m not typing out all this bullshit because i think it’s something special. i’m typing it out because it’s not. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to my little sister. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to that little millie bobbie brown, sexiest actress at thirteen. i’m typing it out because i’m sixteen years old now, a girl in the eyes of the law and a woman in the eyes of men.

mothers, talk to your daughters. tell them to jump off the swingset and skin their knees. tell them to get dirt on their dresses. tell them that they’re a woman on their 18th birthday, not at ten-and-a-half on the first day of their menstrual cycle. the world is confused. the world is sick. if your daughters don’t hear about how to treat their bodies from you, they’ll hear it from the sick, sick world, and they’ll do the things i did.

let girls be girls.

don’t force womanhood on little girls.

i encourage men to reblog this post