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i shouldnt be here

@i-shouldnt-be-here767

just another mentally ill bitch • 5'3 • cw: 125 • gw: 105 • desperatly trying to get back to the honeymoon phase • if you're fatphobic, homophobic, or transphobic get tf away

guys i need some advice

before i start, my head has been a wreck and i'm going to try my best, but i dont know if i'll be able to articulate this very well

so. my partner is amab, nonbinary, and seems to resonate more with presenting feminine, but they dont show that very often (shit takes a lot of energy, i get it, we're both just trying to get through stuff and neither of us are at a point where we can live on our own, i know that their identity is valid regardless of how they present).

recently, i've been trying to wrap my head around the fact that i'll be on my own soon and how unsafe the world is (i'm a woman but was super sheltered so my experience with being catcalled and harassed is very mild). one of the things that's been bothering me for a while is just that...i'm scared of most (cis, straight) men. the ones i'm used to being around, sure, most of them are fine. but soon i'm not going to have the protection of a partner or a friend group always being around, it'll just be me, and the more i think about having to exist on my own around men, the more i want to vomit and crawl out of my skin.

this is where things get complicated. my partner seems happy with their friend group (like 90% male) and individually, i dont really have a problem with any of them (to be fair i dont think i've ever had an actual conversation with any of them for over a year). but whenever i'm near them as a group, i get so uncomfortable. it seems like every single one of them changes and just becomes less empathetic and more like if i start to listen, i'll hear things i really dont want to (usually sexual, the kind of thing where the reply is "dude thats fucked up" and then they keep laughing). and every single time, i feel repulsed and want nothing to do with my partner. of course, i associate this kind of behavior with men, and i hate thinking of my partner in that context, but it's so hard to ignore.

how do i tell my partner i hate it when they act like a man? i care about them and i dont want to invalidate them, but every time i'm even around them and their friends i feel disgusted

April 3, 2023

Affirmation

I am strong physically and mentally. My inner power is formidable and infinite. 2023 is the year, when I am achieving my ultimate goal weight. I can do this. I’m powerful. I’m worthy. 2023 is my year.

rook-tengu-deactivated20210310

Fun fact: I’m autistic I’m gonna do a thing inspired by another person

Reblog if your blog is safe for autistic people or is ran by an autistic person!

oh and

Reblog if you stand against Autism Speaks!

I’m against autism speaks (and that means my Tumblr blog is safe :3 )

Yo I have an autistic friend

I love autistic people, sometimes they can be goofy and that makes my day.

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fatphobes disgust me bc you don't wanna be bigger but just bc you wanna be a bag of fucking bones doesn't mean you have to be disrespectful to someone who actually likes themselves. normalize being 4n4 quietly

spainonymous

La gente no necesita estar sobria y libre de drogas para merecer comida, refugio y amabilidad

This isn’t just a matter of principle, it’s widely recognized as a best practice by homeless service providers and is often a requirement for federal grants under the name “Housing First”. Not only is housing a matter of basic dignity, it’s also a necessary step in other processes like recovering from addiction, improving mental health outcomes, and finding employment. Forcing people to jump through hoops before they are allowed to “deserve” housing is often a self-defeating process. Unfortunately popular perception lags behind these best practices, but there is a lot of good work being done!

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I reblogged this last month, tagged it, and said “might as well see if it works.” I used this video as a reference to find all the forms that i needed (which is A LOT, especially if you’re a dependent) and sent them through the mail, not really allowing myself to hope.

dude.

$2,714 of medical debt from my top surgery - gone. im shaking this was such a weight on me for 2 years and it fucking worked. what the fuck.

This is huge. Sharing for my US friendos.

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Hospitals like to hide these policies under a lot of successive links in obscure places, so if you don't see anything right away, keep looking! Get friends to help! Make it a scavenger hunt. A game where you're assassins sent to slit capitalism's throat

i'm gonna get whiplash jumping from one emotional extreme to another

my brain is so stupid like girl sit down and shut up

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As a lot of us (unfortunately) know, there are some creeps here who are only looking for body pics from vulnerable people. As someone who's dealt with this both in and out of the 4n4 community for many years I figured I'd make a post so people who fortunately don't have experience with this know what to look out for and avoid.

1: Blog Content

What does their blog look like? Obviously we all know that people with a default pfp, no header, and a blank description are sus, but what about if they have a fleshed out page?
How many posts do they have and what is the content of these posts? A lot of people in this community start out only reblogging or liking posts, but I've found that once people get comfortable here they start making posts of their own. For those that don't, they have quite a few reblogs, whereas most of these creeps only have 1-5, and they may not be recent either, just something to make their blogs seem fleshed out.
Do they tag posts? Some people do, some people don't, but most people have at least a few posts tagged. If a blog has very few reblogs with no tagged posts, it's something to look out for- they may be trying to fly under the radar so they can get more people.
Are their likes/following hidden? Most people I see on here have their likes and following lists visible, however most creeps I see do not as, again, they are trying to fly under the radar so they can creep on as many people as possible.

2: Messaging

How quickly do they bring up being a buddy/coach? Typically, I find the conversations go something like this:
• Hey hru?
▪︎ Good, how are you?
• Doing ok
• Need an 4n4 coach or buddy to help you?
Absolute red flag. Bringing up being a coach or buddy so soon in a conversation is not a good sign. If someone actually wanted to befriend or even help you, they would try to get to know you more.
Have they interacted with you before? If this message is your very first interaction with someone, be wary. In all my time being here I have not once messaged someone/gotten a message from someone with good intentions that I have not previously interacted with. Whether that be through likes/reblogs, @'s on a post, or ask box/submissions, not once have I had a conversation go well that did not involve previous interactions first.
Do they push? As manipulators do, these people tend to push for you to do something after you've said no. Regarding the interaction this post stems from, I said no, and they *took a jab at how much I had left to lose before my ugw to try and get me to accept their offer. If someone is not out to manipulate and get n*d3s out of you, they will take the first no as a no and stop pressing the issue.
*Side note: this is never ok regardless of if you're into m34nsp0 or they genuinely aren't trying to manipulate you. What you are and are not okay with needs to be communicated and just outright taking a jab at your w3ight/progress isn't cool.

3: Personal Info

Do they ask for personal info right off the bat? These people want to get whatever info they can as soon as possible. Typically they'll ask to add you on discord and from there start to press for body pics, but they can also ask for body checks before moving to another chat site. DO NOT give out your discord/personal socials unless you are absolutely POSITIVE you can trust someone.
If you get this far in a convo: do they specify how you have to send body checks? Although all of these points are red flags to be suspicious of, this is probably number one. These people are likely to specify that you need to send body checks from different views (typically front, back and side) and in specific clothing (typically a br4 and p4nti3s). If they ask for this do not send pics. You shouldn't be sending pics to strangers regardless, but especially if they ask for something along these lines. They are trying to get skimpy pics out of you for their own f3t1sh.

I'll rb and add more to this post if I think of anything but these are the big things to watch out for. It does not matter if you're an adult or a minor- these people are trying to prey on you regardless. They're usually trying to go after minors but probably aren't checking blogs to see if someone has a pinned post with their age or their age in their bio, so you can be a victim at any age. As someone who was gr00m3d and taken advantage of multiple times growing up I don't want anyone else to be put in these situations.

Minor or adult, if you've ever been a victim of this or been taken advantage of in any way, please feel free to reach out to me for support. I've been there and will help the best I can.

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Also adding: any of these on their own do not necessarily mean the blog is run by a creep, these should be used in conjunction with each other to identify a potential creep. Regardless, be aware and be safe when interacting with strangers on the internet, and be absolutely sure you can trust someone before giving them private information!

Just a hunch here, gop. But I think being 14 and married to a gross older man or dying in a mining accident is a bigger threat to a child than hearing about trans people.