guys i need some advice
before i start, my head has been a wreck and i'm going to try my best, but i dont know if i'll be able to articulate this very well
so. my partner is amab, nonbinary, and seems to resonate more with presenting feminine, but they dont show that very often (shit takes a lot of energy, i get it, we're both just trying to get through stuff and neither of us are at a point where we can live on our own, i know that their identity is valid regardless of how they present).
recently, i've been trying to wrap my head around the fact that i'll be on my own soon and how unsafe the world is (i'm a woman but was super sheltered so my experience with being catcalled and harassed is very mild). one of the things that's been bothering me for a while is just that...i'm scared of most (cis, straight) men. the ones i'm used to being around, sure, most of them are fine. but soon i'm not going to have the protection of a partner or a friend group always being around, it'll just be me, and the more i think about having to exist on my own around men, the more i want to vomit and crawl out of my skin.
this is where things get complicated. my partner seems happy with their friend group (like 90% male) and individually, i dont really have a problem with any of them (to be fair i dont think i've ever had an actual conversation with any of them for over a year). but whenever i'm near them as a group, i get so uncomfortable. it seems like every single one of them changes and just becomes less empathetic and more like if i start to listen, i'll hear things i really dont want to (usually sexual, the kind of thing where the reply is "dude thats fucked up" and then they keep laughing). and every single time, i feel repulsed and want nothing to do with my partner. of course, i associate this kind of behavior with men, and i hate thinking of my partner in that context, but it's so hard to ignore.
how do i tell my partner i hate it when they act like a man? i care about them and i dont want to invalidate them, but every time i'm even around them and their friends i feel disgusted



















