clowndoll

I HAVE TO EAT A PENGUIN???

He's dead he never existed he's a self assigned cowboy he's haunting the narrative he's making the narrative cowboy themed

i can't stop thinking about this

i just made a horrifying realization. i had a crush on that bird when i was 12

i can't stop thinking about this

i just made a horrifying realization. i had a crush on that bird when i was 12

lying across the autopsy table all by yourself, gorgeous?

I’m absolutely obsessed with the reddit side of the Tolkien fandom, in particular, this discussion regarding how Sauron fits the ring on his finger, as well as penal compensation a la Lord Farqaud style

Oh my GOD YOUR BRAIN IS AMAZING

I couldn't not try.

Hat tip to @mugwomps !

‘Top’

I hope they start having better sex, what a shame

me and my friends praying for better gay sex in the vatican

as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.

every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.

until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.

imagine your kid being like “daddy there’s a demon in my closet” and you being like ok son lemme just check that for you :). and you open the door and there’s a demon in the closet

WHAT

maybe i like it when a female character is deeply flawed and responsible for countless deaths and so on and so forth. more female characters should be deeply flawed and responsible for countless deaths

Posted this on twt maybe y'all will enjoy it too

lurker

When you find your dream job

Tumblr is about love in my opinion

No joke I feel like half of the posts I see on this website everyday are about faggots, dykes and trannies. They're all about love and sexuality. Yes even the shitpost one, idc. I feel like we've created this community where the fags trannies and dykes can be very outspoken about themselves, even parts that feel taboo to many people. I think this is beautiful.

"haha very good post Tumblr user catgirlbutthole" look at me. This is a good example. On what other website will a trans woman have this sort of username without getting constant negative attention.

recovery horror: where the process of healing from something reveals previously unknown levels of damage

seeing a smudge on the wall and realizing it’s mildew. examining the mildew and realizing it’s black mold. peeling back the wallpaper and seeing it’s eaten the entire house. going into the basement for a flashlight and realizing it’s flooded. spending every last bit of money at your disposal on fixing all of these things, only to move the box covering the trap door that leads to the seven hundred mile obsidian tunnel that leads directly to the gates of hell.

where exactly every individual’s collapsing point is located. where they stop in that process of uncovering and why.

the conflicts that arise from knowing FULL WELL about the tunnel to the gates of hell, but you’re stuck with somebody who has only just found out about the mildew.

pretending to care about the mildew. speaking with them calmly and compassionately about how mildew is definitely a real problem that people ought to take seriously, and waiting for them to take a good hard look at what’s really crawling up the walls.

This is honestly what being super traumatized and finally getting therapy for it is like

yes but also realizing you live in a fascist dying empire

my thirsty ass could never be the vacuum guy at the vampire mansion

just realised this could either mean i want to drink blood or fuck a vampire

Cannot believe I am seeing people getting their tits bent out of joint about a man taking his daughter into a women's room. That shit was like, completely normal when I was a kid. We really have taken a flying leap backwards as a society into the Cootie Zone

"Men don't belong in the women's room" is in fact a subordinate social imperative to "children should be kept an eye on so they don't get hurt" and especially when you're talking about a toddler, most men's rooms don't have changing stations or suchlike. Morons

It should really not go without comment that afaik this is a black man taking care of his daughter, racism is a factor in people making a big stink about this and I'm not really gonna let the ~daughters of the witches you couldn't burn~ forget that their actual grandmothers probably got pissy about integrated washrooms

Honestly we really need to stop being weird about older adults who are virgins.

& not even purely in a "I'm sex repulsed &/or ace &/or not into the idea of so I willingly didn't have it" but also in a "I'm 80, I would've loved to have sex, but it takes two to tango & no one wanted to have sex w/ me-" and in a "I'm 60 & I wanted to, but I had anxiety so bad I just didn't put myself in a situation where I could've" way, etc. [But yes also the people who are like "I'm a virgin because I never wanted to have sex"]

Someone made a post about having their 40th birthday & still being a virgin & someone commented about how it was heartbreaking... [The OP talked about all their other achievements they reached & how they were happy - just never had sex btw. They weren't lamenting about how they never had sex]

You don't need sex/sexual intimacy to be happy. You don't need romantic intimacy to be happy. [Obviously having those may add happiness, but like you won't live a sad depressing empty life if you're single forever &/or never have sex]