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@i-may-have-fandom-issues

Profile picture from @noir_violet4, currently obsessed with too much things at the moment ๐Ÿ‘Œ

Iconic seafarer beards became a trend to scare away pesky mermaids.

Mermaid, seeing a bald pirate: Zero threatโ€ฆ! Mermaid, seeing a hairy, bearded pirate: If I get too close their face tentacles will eat meโ€ฆ!

Most mermaids only grow short beards as not to scare baby mermaids (longer beards look like the tentacled mouths of hungry squids and octopuses).

Pirates use this innate fear to their advantage to protect themselves from mermaids, hence the iconic beards and hat:

I like how this is presented as factual information

sometimes i think about how the agreste household has an insane population and the most normal person there is actually Gorilla.

A man who you'd easily mistake for a q-tip scamming you into buying deadbeat cars who is refrigerating his dead wife, a woman who has very complex concubinal relations with the q-tip but also holds a flame for the refrigerated wife, a billion year old cat god who killed dinosaurs, and a severely depressed teenager who nuked 7 billion people.