thedeadlymilkmen
dogy
terrapincentury
dogy
Happy dogy (he is a Wet Beast) Wednesday
being in love with ur friend like entirely platonically is insane. like. hey, i love you so much by the way. i carry a part of you in me, so if were apart ill still do things that will remind me of you because i got it from you. hey man i know were talking right now but i miss you. i love you
this is for those who despair over seeing ships or tropes that make them uncomfortable while they do their little scrolly-scroll on ao3, acting like they aren’t responsible for their own internet experience
(alternatively, the back button also works)
any ship can be a rarepair if u dont wanna interact with 85% of the active fandom
gonna start saying “you couldn’t make x movie today” but for reasons unrelated to political correctness
you couldn’t make Home Alone 2: Lost in New York today because the strict airport regulations put into place after 9/11 make it nigh impossible for a child to simply walk onto the wrong plane
You couldn’t make American psycho today because Christian Bale would actually kill Jared Leto for real
I don’t see that as a deal breaker.
i'm sorry but this is 1 of the funniest spam texts i've gotten
[ID: a spam text that reads as follows.
Joey, I heard from your lover that you are not very good at running a cross-border e-commerce online store. Let's make an appointment and I will teach you in detail.
End ID.]
Ghost files is like if the scooby gang was just fred and shaggy, nothing's getting done but they're having fun at least
werewolf youtubers be like “lycan subscribe” but fungus/alga symbiote youtubers be like “lichen subscribe” but also ions or neutral molecules bonded to a central metal atom or ion youtubers be like “ligand subscribe” thanks ill be here all week
i ran the whole marathon on this one and you let it flop. i did so much googling.
aristocrat doms delegating corporal punishments to their secretary named after sewing room detritus be like
“hit that sub, Scribe Button”
Hello??????
Because Elon Musk has decided that "cisgender" is slur, and that comedy is legal on Twitter, I started posting cis jokes. Here they are in case it gets me banned.
Why did the cisgender cross the road?
A cis actually wouldn't make that big of a change at all.
A cisgender rubs the magic lamp and a genie appears.
Genie: "Thank you for freeing me, I will grant you three wishes!"
Cis: "I'm sorry, HOW MANY?! That's too confusing and upsetting"
A font walks into a bar. The cis bartender serves the font without question because despite his hatred and obsession over typeface ideology, he is not as good at telling when he's met one as he thinks.
A father and his son are in a car accident. The father dies at the scene and the son is rushed to the hospital. At the hospital the cis surgeon looks at the boy and says "I can't operate on this boy, it would be permanently altering him" How can this be?
How many cisgender people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. Only two. Absolutely no more than two.
A cisgender walks into a bar and isn't given any trouble about using the restroom.
A limbo champ walks into a bar. He loses.
A cisgender observer then campaigns tirelessly to make sure that limboist won't change genders to compete in the women's limbo league.
jason's autopsy scars cause some confusion at the red hood annual pool party
I reverse on his bear till he traps.
[John Kramer tightens the noose around my neck.]
I— I mean, I saw on his trap till he learns.
[John Kramer tightens the noose.]
PLEASE. I APPRECIATE ON HIS LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION TILL HE WANTS TO LIVE! GOD!
I am a GUEST and I do not DESERVE to use the good normal cups, I may only use the worst cup you have
Counterpoint, I am a guest and I DESIRE to use the WORST possible cup I can find that you have hidden away
i insist that the loud noise is the one thing that separated vacuuming from being best sensory experience possible to the worst sensory experience possible. imagine vacuuming if it’s completely silent. it would be so much fun it feels like a beast on a leash swallowing up everything in its way indiscriminately it’s so awesome
Kidd Gorgeous -Nightfish
okay do yoh guys ever think about the fact that “high quality” is an actual descriptor like theres high quality tea leaves high quality fabrics high quality espresso beans etc but because of advertising everything that is said to be “high quality” on the package is just because it supposedly sells better. but not everything is high quality so it is a lie. a descriptor becomes meaningless because it sounds good. what if we were just honest. why cant you say this coffee beans arent the best but they will do the job. i would be happy with okay if it didnt lie
my autism diagnosis has nothing to do with this
Be open to the possibility that people are speaking nicely about you behind your back. People are conspiring about ways to help you. People advocating for you. People are genuinely rooting for you behind your back.
Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror will be published on October 3 via Random House. It's curated by filmmaker Jordan Peele, who also provides an introduction and serves as editor with John Joseph Adams.
It features short stories by Erin E. Adams, Violet Allen, Lesley Nneka Arimah, Maurice Broaddus, Chesya Burke, P. Djèlí Clark, Ezra Claytan Daniels, Tananarive Due, Nalo Hopkinson, N.K. Jemisin, Justin C. Key, L.D. Lewis, Nnedi Okorafor, Tochi Onyebuchi, Rebecca Roanhorse, Nicole D. Sconiers, Rion Amilcar Scott, Terence Taylor, and Cadwell Turnbull.
The 400-page book will be available in hardcover, e-book, and audio book. The synopsis is below.
everyone's got that one homie who zealously adheres to his inflexible code of honor even though it has long since become a burden to him