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Viva la Captain Swan

@i-cant-loose-you-too-blog

follow me on insta @itsabout_bloodytime mainly reblogs and theories

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

First of all:

  • If he/she/they
  • Controls what you wear or acts upset when you wear what you want
  • Wants you to stay inside to themselves constantly
  • Get jealous over everyone
  • Cry or get mad when you have a problem and blame themself
  • Let you be completely dependent on them (or make it out to be that you could)
  • Tell you they can’t live without you
  • Make you feel the need to be whatever they want you to be
  • Make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells or should be
  • Cause you to cry at night because you love them so you won’t leave them but you’re confused
  • Cause you to feel like you’re in a cage
  • They. Are. Toxic.
  • It does not matter if they “mean to”
  • They are still toxic
  • They are still causing you pain
  • Your relationship is most likely codependent and/or emotionally abusive
  • You need to get out of that relationship
  • It will hurt
  • But as someone who has been there
  • It is much better to leave and cope
  • Than to not leave and have them leave you alone
  • Or to continue being emotionally abused
  • It’s serious
  • It is not “how he thinks a relationship should be”
  • It is not “his jealousy”
  • It is:
  • Potentially emotionally abusive
  • Draining
  • Painful
  • Potentially codependent
  • Damaging
  • Toxic
  • Toxic
  • T o x i c
  • I’ve been there, did that more than once because they will manipulate you. Even if they don’t mean to.
  • You w o n t be able to handle it if you don’t get out.
  • It is unhealthy
  • If this sounds like your relationship
  • Please please please leave

25 No/Low Cost Self Care Acts

1. Have a drink from your favourite cup/mug. Coffee. Tea. Hell, even plain water is nicer when it’s in your fave mug (and you’re probably dehydrated rn so get on that). Allow yourself the couple of minutes to drink it in entirety. 2. Visit the library. Seriously. Nothing says quiet me time like the quiet couches and a novel in a library. 3. Look up some topics on iTunes U and read up on them. You’ll feel accomplished when you learn about a new scholarly topic. 4. Check over your resumé. Anything need to be updated or polished? Do that now, it can come in handy if an opportunity comes knocking. 5. Call a beloved family member or close friend. I just called my aunt for the first time in a little while and honestly you feel a lot lighter and a lot warmer. 6. Listen to ASMR, Binaural Beats, or guided meditation. There’s ASMR and meditation videos on youtube for pretty much any need– general relaxation, reassurance, mock spa days… 7. Volunteer at the local animal shelter. Volunteering is proven to make you feel better about yourself, petting animals helps lower your blood pressure, and nothing compares to the love and gratitude from a dog or cat. 8. Randomly browse Wikipedia or WikiHow. Clicking the random article is always an adventure– probably a laughable one, but you might learn something new. 9. Clean out your closet. It’ll feel like a lot of weight is off your shoulders, and you can sell or donate pieces that are still in good shape. 10. Write out a list of things you like about yourself. It can be tricky at first, but write down whatever comes to mind, even though it may seem trivial. Put the list away for times when you are being too hard on yourself, or need some self love. 11. Movie night. Obviously. Netflix, Hulu, library… A lot of thrift and secondhand stores often have really cheap DVDs. Re-watch your faves, allow yourself a guilty pleasure, or choose something that looks laughably awful. 12. Have a bonfire. Check your local fire codes beforehand, first. A bonfire or a fire pit is extremely soothing, especially wrapped up in a blanket. 13. Meal Plan/Prep. You’re probably going to be cooking anyway, so setting aside a day or half a day to prep meals ahead of time helps free the rest of your schedule. 14. At-Home spa day. Wash your hair. Trim your nails. Soak your feet. Exfoliate. 15. Write letters. Especially to your grandparents if you’re emotionally close– it will make them feel really loved. 16. Sleep in or nap. No explanation needed. 17. Bake cookies or make eggless cookie dough. One serving of edible cookie dough uses only spoonfuls of ingredients you probably have at home. 18. Wash your pillowcases and linens. This is especially good if you’re like me and the depression is real. Washing sheets gets neglected but the feeling of fresh sheets makes everything suck a little bit less. 19. Forgive yourself. Acknowledge that past mistake that’s been eating you alive and accept the fact that you can’t change the past. You’re still growing, still learning. 20. Keep a happiness journal. Before bed, write three things that made you smile that day. Life won’t seem all that bad, and it’s a good way to de-stress. 21. Shamelessly sing and dance along to music you enjoy. That song you would TOTALLY kill on lip sync battle? Own it. 22. If you like makeup/skincare, go to your local sephora or drugstore that has a beauty section. Sephora does free mini makeovers if it’s not busy. At the drugstore makeup counter, ask the beauty questions that you’ve wanted answers to. 23. Remember to say “no.” Declining to do a favour or go on an outing you can’t currently justify or afford does not make you a bad person. It means you have boundaries and deserve respect. 24. Watch some game shows. Lots of channels have them, and there’s plenty of compilations on youtube. 25. Let it out in writing. Sometimes having it all out in black and white can make solutions easier to realize. I believe in you all! Remind yourself that you’re a good person, and a bad bitch 💕

♔ some skin care tips ♔

  • reapply sun screen every 2 to 3 hours. don’t use anything under 30.
  • korean products usually already have sunscreen in them.
  • use a different exfoliator for your face than you do for your body. your face needs one that’s not as aggressive
  • you might start to break out more upon using a new, good product. this is normal. let the bad stuff be flushed out and keep using it.
  • I know it’s annoying but drink. your. water.
  • don’t use coconut oil on your face, ESPECIALLY not if you’re prone to acne.
  • don’t use glossier products, the ingredients are shit.
  • don’t let the water in the shower hit your face too much, the pressure damages the skin.
  • change your pillow sheet every 3 days (oily skin) to once a week.
  • stop touching your face for god’s sake.
  • don’t forget to treat your neck too!
  • regularly exfoliating your hands will slow down hand aging, too.
  • if something doesn’t work, throw it away or gift it to someone else. don’t keep using it. 
  • start using a serum.
  • matcha tea contains waaaaay more antioxidants than your average green tea.
  • honey & salmon are good for your skin. also limit your dairy intake. 
  • try to (deep) cleanse your face in the evening.

and don’t forget that lasting good skin takes time and consistency. 

The Emotional Glo Up

Some glo ups aren’t always physical. Some are mental & emotional. Here are my first tips to help you glo up emotionally, baby.

1.) Get rid of niggas who don’t fucking care about you. I can’t stress this enough. Some boys don’t give a shit about you. “Oh, I don’t want a relationship” usually means “I don’t want you, but let me just keep you on the side for validation and usage”. 

2.) Stop comparing yourself, hoe. You’re cute as hell.

3.) It’s okay to think highly of yourself. You fucking matter. You really do. If your confidence makes someone uncomfortable/offended, then THEY’RE the ones with the issue, not you.

4.) Self care. Self care. Self care. And, it doesn’t have to be doing your nails or getting your edges laid. It can literally be watching movies all night or crying. As long as you feel okay, at the end of the day, you took care of yourself.

5.) You can’t please everyone, boo. Don’t hurt yourself trying to get everyone to like you.

Hoe Tips: School and Studying

I’m currently in PA school with close to a 4.0 GPA, and with college and back to school starting up, I’m dropping some tips for y'all. A hoe gotta get bomb ass grades if ya want a bomb ass career and to be successful af. So let’s get it✨

1. Write out your notes. Have two notebooks: one for when you’re in class (this one can be messy) and one for at home (this one is the neater one, for color coding, formatting, and all that organizational jazz). Writing things out is proven to enhance memorization 7X more than just reading is.

2. Have a go-to format for your notes. Numbering, bullet points, whatever floats your boat.

3. Type out your notes. I use Google Drive, because it automatically saves all your shit, and you can access your notes via your Google account literally anywhere. Typing out your notes does the same thing writing them out does, as far as helping you review the material.

4. Use Quizlet. Quizlet is a free flashcard website/app that allows you to type in all of your flashcards and definitions, and gives you review options like matching, testing, flashcard mode, and more. This shit made me my high schools valedictorian, no lie.

5. Keep your old quizzes and tests. Often times, teachers will ask similar questions on finals.

6. For math-based subjects, always always always show your work in your notes. I try to explain each step for a math problem in the margins of my notes, and generalize how to do each problem at the end.

7. Do practice problems consistently.

8. For my college hoes: never take an 8 am class. You think you can do it because you did it for high school, but I promise you will regret it. If there’s no avoiding the 8 am lecture, bring coffee and skip any makeup/hair that day. Sleep is too important.

9. Make flashcards. The night before my exams, I like to try and fit everything I need to know for a specific chapter/topic onto one flashcard, in order to weed out main ideas.

10. For essays, easybib.com is amazing with free citations to avoid any plaigiarism or incorrect bibliographies.

11. Rent👏your👏textbooks👏. Unless your teacher specifically requires you BUY it, you likely won’t need the actual textbook. Buying access codes for the book online is hundreds of dollars cheaper.

12. If you do get your textbooks, a lot of them have chapter summaries at the end of each chapter. Be sure to write out/type out/review those summaries.

13. For science labs, if you are allowed, take pictures of any models or slides you need to know for your exams. Pretty much all labs won’t let you take pictures of cadavers or animal dissections, but plastic models and microscope slides should be fine.

14. If you have a question, ASK YOUR TEACHER. It is better to look stupid in class and get your clarification, than to look stupid when you get your exam back and actually have it count against your grade.

15. Do study groups. I have two nursing friends in some of the same classes as me, and we’d always meet up before exams to go over the material. We would bring dry erase markers and map out shit in empty classrooms, taking turns explaining shit to each other until we nailed it.

16. Try to teach the material. Like I said in #15, study groups are great for this. By teaching the material out loud, you are subconsciously reviewing it yourself. This is a HUGE help.

17. Take breaks. You cannot exhaust yourself and expect to still recall anything you learned.

18. I know everyone does this and there’s no avoiding it sometimes, but DO NOT CRAM. Gradual learning is most effective.

19. Have one day every week where you don’t do any schoolwork. You need time to reboot.

20. Use your phone’s calendar/task checklist app for all major assignments, due dates, exam dates, study plans, appointments, etc. Set reminders as needed.

21. Charge your phone in another room while studying. No distractions.

22. Rainymood.com is a free website that plays a 30 minute loop of rain sounds. It helps me focus like nothing else, especially in my loud ass household, and every time the loop stops and replays, I know to take a break between 30 minute study sessions.

23. Feel distracted at home when studying? Try studying in a library, cafe, or even at school. I find that going somewhere else to study actually forces me to pay attention to what I’m doing, for some reason.

24. Reward yourself for good grades. Buy yourself a slice of pizza or a new highlight, have a netflix marathon, go to a party, or take a nap. Whatever conveys a job well done, do it. It’ll make all that studying feel that much greater when it’s over, and you’ll have a goal to work towards.

25. Sit in the front of the classroom as often as possible. You’ll be forced to pay attention, be able to actually see the board, hear the instructor better, and you’re more likely to have your questions answered quickly because your teacher will actually see your hand go up.

26. Caffeinate. I prefer tea because it’s healthier, but coffee works too. Ya girl is NOT a morning person, but my morning tea at least helps me pay attention during earlier classes.

27. Keep all of your school shit organized, together, and labelled.

28. Do NOT skip a class just because you’re lazy or don’t feel like going. The temptation is real sometimes, but a hoes gonna be pissed when ya see your participation average decline.

29. This may just be a psychological thing, but I love to use the same colored/brand of pen for all of my notes/assignments/tests. It just makes everything seem more uniform, and I’m able to recall information better.

30. Trouble taking tests? For any multiple choice question, read the question and try to answer it first without reading any of the options. If your answer doesn’t match the options, then use process of elimination to find the best answer. For true/false questions, write out justifications for each answer (you can also do this for multiple choice). You’ll be acing your exams in no time.

31. Chewing gum during class/studying, and chewing that same flavor gum during the exam, has been scientifically proven to boost your memory recall.

32. Literally any time you have the opportunity to do extra credit, DO IT. Cherish that shit.

33. If you aren’t doing so hot in a particular class (literally any math class for me lol), schedule a private meeting with your professor and go over test questions you missed, or topics you didn’t get. If you know your professor is a flop, or can’t get an appointment, meet with a tutor or another professor of that same subject. Sometimes another voice can shed new light on a difficult topic.

34. For essays, readable.io critiques your writing for free based on readability, grade level, formality, tone, grammatical errors, etc. Seriously a life saver.

35. Also thesaurus.com is ya bff for fancier words/phrases to make your writing more eloquent

36. Always make an outline for every essay or project to organize what you want to say. This will keep you on track, and help you work around any quotes or sources in you writing to make sure your writing is hella organized.

That’s all I can think of for now, please please please feel free to add and share. Enjoy those 4.0’s, hoes💞

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

Must be nice to be a man and feel absolutely zero guilt or concern while you sit on your arse in front of the tv as your wife frantically runs herself into the ground with the never ending grind of holiday cooking/cleaning/gifting/wrapping/decorating/tidying/arranging/crafts/familial politics

it always bewilders and offends me that at family gatherings all of the women are up cleaning, cooking, clearing the table after dinner, bringing snacks out, etc., and all of the men are just relaxing and sitting around. I’m also up cleaning, clearing peoples’ plates, etc., because I’m expected to do that as a female, while my male cousins get to sit around and chill. Even the male relatives that I like just sit around and chat and don’t seem to notice that my sister and I are constantly being called into the kitchen and they’re not.

so anyway yeah if you’re a male you should seriously try to pay attention to who’s doing all the work and who’s allowed to sit and chill (probably you) and maybe like, get up and insist on helping…

I’m sure a LOT of women (if not most) can relate to the experience of loving the holidays as a child only to be unceremoniously snatched up into the kitchen one year, after someone deemed you old enough to join the women.

I was si excited, once again, to go to my grandparents’ for Thanksgiving; my brothers and I knew everything we would do: watch the parades on TV (as usual), play board games or play outside (as usual), get cleaned up five minutes before sitting down to be served dinner (as usual), then excuse ourselves after the pie and go watch the animated tv specials until it was time to get in the car and fall asleep on the way home (all as usual).

I will NEVER forget the painful shock of being taken by the shoulders that day and steered into the kitchen, where I spent the holiday prepping the meal and serving the meal and cleaning up after the meal, while my brothers had no change in their holiday schedule.

I was 11 years old.

Don’t forget to show the children what it takes to put on a meal (and who’s doing it).

and this is true not just for holidays but also any time guests come over. i have observed far too many men offer food/drinks to their guests, even insist when they refuse without realising that its the women who will have to actually make it.

and often, the women are the last to sit and eat. So when you are being hospitable and insisting that your fellow male guests take one more serving, you may not realise that there won’t be enough for the women.

And i think a lot of the times this is subconscious. So please from now on, be more aware… and make and effort to stop this ‘tradition’

Avatar
prohoetips

And men: If you don’t think you can be helpful, FUCKING LEARN. I can’t count how many men I know who have gift wrapping fall on their female family members because they never bothered to learn how to wrap things. It’s on YouTube, figure it out. If you don’t know how to help in the kitchen, then be in charge of drinks. You can manage getting people their soda/distributing alcohol etc.

And clean up after! If the women are cooking all day, you should without a doubt be the one doing the dishes.

The women always clean up after family dinner on Fridays at my grandmas house. Whenever they ask who’s cleaning, I’ll volunteer my (male) cousins for a change.

Straight dudes are their own worst enemies when it comes to getting laid.

Like, i know so many girls who are down for something more casual and who actually have really low standards that boil down to “treat me like a person, not a talking fleshlight”. And dudes refuse to even meet those standards!

Like, you know how many times I’ve been talking to a guy and I’ve already decided that when we hang out I’d down to mess around, only for the guy to start talking super graphically or send me a picture of his dick–and then literally all desire I had for him went out the windows.

Like dudes are so obsessed with sex that theyre scaring almost-certain sex partners away because they refuse to act like human beings capable of rational thought.

Bring thing this back to add an example:

I started talking to a guy on tinder.  He was funny, flirty and super nice even though he wasn’t really my type. Most importantly, he was completely respectful. He managed to let me know he thought I was attractive, and that he was interested in me, without ever saying anything gross, asking for pictures or asking for sex. We met up for drinks and talked for hours and I realized I was more attracted to him than I initially thought . Not only did I sleep with him on the first date, but I’ve hooked up with him multiple times after that. The first time, he didn’t make any assumptions. We hung out, started making out and then he asked me if I wanted to stay the night. That was it. He STILL has never asked me for a nude, or sent me some overtly sexual message or picture. 

But SOMEHOOOW I still want to have sex with him.

Conversely, I started talking to another guy on tinder today. On our FIRST conversation, he has mentioned my boobs 3 times, invited me over to “watch a movie” (he added the quotes, not me), suggested a fwb set up and just asked for nudes.

GUESS WHO ISN’T GONNA GET IN MY PANTS.

I try so hard to tell them.

Trash men are out here getting advice from other trash men so they don’t know how to act. 🙄

But… But why are they incapable of learning from bad experience after bad experience?

Avatar
harmonyltd

Because they find it easier to blame the women for it.

Avatar
forte7

Shoulda been more of a warning sign when my ex thought a compliment counted as telling me that I had big boobs, really :/

is there a word for “i was instantly good at a lot of things as a quote-unquote gifted child, and, as a result, i was able to skate by without ever being taught how to actually learn a new skill, and now that i’m an adult trying to learn new things that i can’t be good at instantaneously, i don’t have the patience or knowledge to improve on them, because skills that don’t come naturally to me just make me angry because i lived off instant gratification my whole childhood due to not ever being challenged intellectually or taught basic learning skills?” asking for a friend

people like this piss me the fuck off

why does everyone refuse to consider the possibility that maybe an education system designed from the ground up to turn intelligent and creative children into mindlessly efficient factory drones might have a negative effect on the people it deems (correctly or not; usually not) to be more intelligent and creative than average?

we were punished for “learning too fast” by having the lessons about how to learn taken away from us, and by couching it all in positive language so that our peers would resent and isolate us. literally all of us know we’re not better than anyone else, but that doesn’t seem to matter in the face of “i was jealous in elementary school and have held on to that for 15+ years.”

when we say things like “i don’t know how to learn things that i don’t immediately understand” you hear “i was that kid you hated because i never studied but i always got a 100% on the test anyway,” but what we mean is:

  • i have a vague understanding of what a flash card is, but no idea how to make them or what to do with them
  • i have literally no idea how to take notes because:
  • i don’t know what i’ll forget if i don’t write it down
  • i don’t know how to pay attention to what’s being said while i write
  • i wouldn’t know what to do with the notes anyway
  • if i don’t understand something, i don’t know how to formulate a question
  • i don’t know how to recognize when i don’t know something until it goes wrong, at which point i don’t know how to identify what i did wrong
  • i can’t tell the difference between a mistake that’s part of the learning process and a mistake where i should know better

but yeah, if we ever acknowledge any of this, we’re definitely just being ungrateful whiners who don’t realize how good we had it when we were 7

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peachisty

feel good things:

  • watch sunrises. somehow, this makes me feel like the beginning of something new, the birth of my better, stronger self. watch the way the sun rises, because just like that, you will rise and shine, too.
  • sing your heart out. dance until you’re exhausted. make art until you run out paint. write out your feelings. indulge in your passion and do it like you’re doing it to impress yourself.
  • relive your favorite, happiest memory. it is one easy guaranteed effective way to make your heart, your soul, and even your lips smile. no bias.
  • rewatch your favorite film. grab some chips or a bucket of popcorn and have a marathon of your most-watched flicks. don’t hesitate to replay your favorite scenes if you feel the need to.
  • aspire and try to be kind, always. being kind on a daily basis is possibly one of the most exhausting and draining thing to ever do but i promise at the end of the day, before you go to sleep you will realize: it is worth it. always.
  • take a shower. scrub off your creeping self-doubts, smell nice, and bask yourself with self-love. take your time to ponder about your life inside the tub. this is the best time to reevaluate and relax.
  • be spontaneous even just for one day. drive away from the city. get a haircut. go on a coffee shop hopping. sketch random places. let your heart and your thoughts wander. let your soul soar and be free.
  • treat yourself. it does not necessarily have to be something enormous or expensive. it could just be a new set of brushes or getting a thrifted second-hand book or buying yourself some bouquet of fresh flowers. it’s not about the tags, it’s about the thought.
  • rekindle your love for a forgotten passion. nothing beats falling in love with something the second time around. touch your dusty piano keys, change your rusty violin strings, and once again (just like the old days), let your ardor dance in harmony.
  • take a nap. because sometimes, the best way to temporarily solve something, is to do nothing. yes, it is only ethical to give yourself a break from the overwhelming society. and yes, taking a nap most of the time makes everything better.
  • if you want to or feel the need to, cry. there is nothing wrong with doing something that is inherent. this does not prove that you are weak, it only proves that you are a human being capable of feeling things. so really, do not ever plan to hinder yourself from crying. it’s often times therapeutic.
  • do something that you have never done before. no more excuses. just because there is nothing more empowering and satisfying than crossing something out of your bucketlist.
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prrb

How I pratice drawing things, now in a tutorial form. The shrimp photo I used is here Show me your shrimps if you do this uvu  PS: lots of engrish because foreign 

This is the best art advice ever and you should all listen to it because it’s basically what I’ve been telling people for years.

i was not expecting that to actually work
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grypwolf

THIS.

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astolat

This feels like one of those pieces of advice that are so brilliant that as soon as you have read it, it feels blindingly obvious. 

my parents aren’t teaching me life lessons.

I’m an adult.

image

Some shit about life, from a bonafide adult:

  • even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 
  • generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies
  • just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone
  • at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 
  • thrift stores
  • everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
  • you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
  • do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
  • you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 
  • if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
  • never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
  • 15% tip. 
  • the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
  • sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 
  • no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

Do not buy generic brand spaghetti sauce either.

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Dollar store batteries work just as well as store brand.

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shrineart
  • Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
  • Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
  • Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
  • Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.
  • There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
  • Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
  • Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
  • “The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.
  • MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.
image
  • Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
  • DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
  • If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
  • Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
  • If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
  • Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
  • You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.
  • Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 
  • Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
  • KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

Also a general mutli-vitamin isn’t a bad idea and if you don’t get a lot of fruits or milk/sunshine in your diet you might want to get vitamins C and D specifically for daily use.

if you do accidentally lapse and put dawn in your dishwasher, run it empty and put hair conditioner where the detergent goes. that’ll clean it out (tip given to me by dorm custodian when roommate did the thing).

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

acetone, found in most nail polish removers, dissolves super glue.

YOU’RE ALL DOING GOD’S WORK BLESS YOU

Takes pictures, have prints made and put them in photo albums. Be IN the pictures, have someone take pictures of you and your friends. Get over not looking perfect in thw picture. Someday that friend might be gone and those pictures might be all you’ll have, you will want to be in them. I made that mistake with my best friend, i always felt weird asking for a picture together… he died of cancer January of 2014 and now i have no pictures of us together. Its my only regret in life.

This is really helpful, thank you all!

I’m the newest of new adults but I’m gonna throw these little tips in there. IF YOU HAVE AN OLD CAR: 

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

AAA or any other road side service is never a bad investment i swear. (try to mooch it off your parents as long as you can though) 

Know how to change a tire. You’re going to need to do it at some point in time and you can’t always rely on someone else to do it for you.

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

Don’t be ashamed to ask for help period. Life is hard, everyone needs help occasionally.

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woodelf68

You can put a LOWER wattage bulb in a lamp that says it’s for a higher one, but don’t put a HIGHER wattage bulb in. Also, watts refer to the amount of electricity used. LUMENS refers to the amount of light put out, and can vary quite a bit between brands, even though the wattage is the same. Look for the one with the highest lumens unless you actually want a slightly dimmer bulb in a certain location. Those dollar store batteries? Fine if they’re alkaline. “Heavy-duty” batteries, however, won’t last nearly as long. You can microwave a hot dog and bun simply by wrapping them in a toweling for a minute, less if you don’t want them scalding hot.

Reblogging to save lives.

Two adulting (kitchen-related) tips from me!

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt
1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!
2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.
3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 
4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.
Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 
Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.
Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.
Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.
You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.
Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.
Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

(Also it’s ridiculous amounts of therapeutic to bake, for me anyway)

about the medicine: know the difference between ibuprofen and paracetamol!! paracetamol is a painkiller and is probably the way to go if you have a headache or period pain since it’s easier on the stomach, while ibuprofen is anti inflammatory! that means it will work well as a painkiller, but it’s also good for common colds - just take it two times a day (make sure to check the dosage with a pharmacologist or read the instructions that come with the medicine tho) for up to three days to lower your temperature (if it lasts longer than that pls go see a doctor) another tip: always have a few painkiller pills on you they will save your life and last thing: take the medical advice on tumblr with a grain of salt most of us aren’t specialists so please double and triple check all the info

Ok so this post is extremely long and I put it all together for my blogs Feeling sad page but as I don’t have a huge amount of followers I realize so many people are not seeing this information so I’m posting it here too!

alternatives without harming yourself:

  • holding/squeezing ice.
  • splashing your face with water.
  • getting a rubber band and snapping it against your skin (this could hurt, though it’s better than other ways that people usually choose to self-harm).
  • take a hot shower or bath.
  • eat something sour. it will take your mind of the urge. (lemon, sour lollies)
  • massage where you want to self-harm.
  • get a red pen or red paint and draw/paint over where you usually self-harm.
  • remind yourself as to why you shouldn’t do it. (scars, harms organs, leave memories etc…)
  • describe what you are feeling. (is the urge/pain in your chest, fists, legs, arms, head).

killing yourself will not help. it is not a solution.

you have your whole life ahead of you. you have so many more years that you can accomplish things in. for example;

  • having a family.
  • getting married.
  • to watch the sun rise.
  • to watch the sun set.
  • to save someone else’s life.
  • finish school.
  • get your dream job.
  • to laugh.
  • to smile.
  • to go camping.
  • travel to new places.
  • to wake up every morning to the person you love.
  • friends.
  • family.
  • to keep that promise you made.
  • to accomplish a goal.
  • to meet your idol.
  • to listen to new music.
  • theme parks.
  • video games.
  • chocolate.
  • to be able to look back and say “i made it”.

what you’re going through is temporary.

in case you need to hear this:

  • you are loved.
  • you are wanted.
  • you are needed.
  • you are beautiful.
  • you are handsome.
  • you are important.
  • you are not alone.
  • you are okay.
  • you are strong.
  • you are worth it.
  • you are smart.
  • you are not a failure.
  • you are useful.
  • you are going to be okay.

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trans lifeline: 877-565-8860

depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696

suicide hotline: 1-800-784-8433

lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

trevor project: 1-866-488-7386

sexuality support: 1-800-246-7743

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runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

exhale: after abortion hotline/pro-voice: 1-866-439-4253

Dont forget about Crisis Text Line! 

Text HOME to 741-741

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bristlee1

for those who might need it

This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.

No you guys this post helped me find my cat. He was missing for almost a month and I’ve had him for over 12 years. After seeing this I put his favorite blanket he always slept on outside hoping he would smell mine or his scent and he was back the next fucking day asleep on it.

When my cat got out, we called and called for him, and then, later that night, I remembered similar advice to this, and so put his little scratching pad, which he adores, on the front porch. Not even half an hour later, I heard a thump, opened the door, and there was his big butt, meowing at me.

Important and vital

I don’t care that I reblogged this today I’m reblogging it again

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Reblog to literally save a life

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.