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So you like them goods?

@i-am-the-narwhal / i-am-the-narwhal.tumblr.com

Hey friends, I'm Em. My art blog is i-am-the-narwhale.tumblr.com , to mach my DA page at i-am-the-narwhale.deviantart.com

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

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Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

I am in love with you /p

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

48hr tumblr blackout proposal

tumblr mobile has seadily become near unusable these past few updates. not just from a user experience perspective (which is important enough in itself) but also from an accessibility perspective.

examples include the new way the image viewer works (if you can call it "working"), the tumblr live button replacing the profile button, and that newly created blogs will be forced to have their main dashboard tab be the 'for you' page.

the demands of the protest would be along the lines of:

  • reverse the recent image viewer update
  • scrap the new users 'for you' page default setting
  • let us turn off tumblr live indefinitely
  • increase efforts against spam / porn bots
  • make reporting abuse and hate speech as easy as reporting as reporting spam
  • let us go nuts show nuts again... for real this time
  • commit to improving usability and accessibility, and listening to users!
  • (suggestions welcome!)

to protest against these usability issues, and inspired by the recent reddit blackout, i propose a 48 hour blackout (where you don't use tumblr at all). preferably of both mobile and web (since web has problems too) but mobile is the focus here.

I suggest the 48 hours between the 30th of June to the end of the 1st of July.

this marks the end of pride month (for the "queerest place on the internet") and the start of disability month (since accessibility is a massive issue here).

tumblr office is in San Francisco, USA, so the times and dates will be calculated using their time zone (PDT).

i can't afford to blaze this post so please spread it around as much as possible! protests only work if significant numbers show up!

tumblr rejected the blaze campaigns for this post because they know it would hurt them. let's make this an indefinite blackout - it's the best way to get results.

(so the blackout would be from June 30th onwards)

"birds aren't dinosaurs" ❌ wrong, misinformed, way too common

"all vertebrates evolved from fish, and are therefore technically fish" ✅ mischievous, technically true if you look at it from the right angle, demonstrates how cladistics work

"whales are fish but not for the reason you might think" 😈 this is funny to me specifically

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Whales technically being fish is the funniest about face evolution has given us

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there's no such thing as a fish, but all mammals are fish, and whales are fish because they're mammals

IM A FISH??

once the magic spell starts taking place, then yes

Oh god…..I can already feel the spell taking effect……………………………………..I can…………………feel the fish flowing through me………………………………….

O-Oh god…………………what is…………………happening to me……………….?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FFFUUUCCCCKKKKK IT HURTS SO BAD AAAAAAAAAA MAKE IT STOP OH GOD PLEASE HAVE MERCY AAAAAAAAAAAAA

That's not the kind of fish you are ;)

Try this on instead, it might fit better:

And like the whale, we too shall return to the water, as the pinnacle of hominin evolution.

Anonymous asked:

if you have time to explain like i'm five, why can birds not be meaningfully separated from reptiles? is it just to do with how they evolved, or are there cold-blooded scaly birds out there that i don't know about?

Imagine you’re a duck. It’s good, right? Here’s some noodles. Pretend they’re worms. Okay, no, stop trying to put the noodles up your nose. Attention here, look, papa’s trying to explain something. Can you listen? If you listen you’ll get more noodles. Okay? Okay.

So you’re a duck (*quack* yes good). But I’m a dinosaur. Yup. Waiiit. You have to be a duck for the story to make sense. Okay. I’m a dinosaur and you’re a duck. You’re descended from me. So you’re actually a dinosaur too! I know right‽ that’s because children (descendants) of one group are still members of that group. You never stop being a dinosaur, no matter how different you look, because you’re descended from dinosaurs. Even though you’re a duck (*quack* yes exactly)

You remember your aunty? Let’s say she’s a crocodile. Yeah, she looks like a crocodile sometimes, doesn’t she? Okay. If she’s a crocodile, and we’re dinosaurs, then what are your grandparents? That’s right, they’re a group that somehow gave rise to both dinosaurs and crocodilians. That group is called Archosauria. So your grandma is a great big archosaur (don’t tell her I said that).

Now, we call archosaurs reptiles. Crocodiles are reptiles, and dinosaurs are reptiles too. And if dinosaurs are reptiles, then birds are reptiles, because you can’t just cut the family tree. No it’s not a literal tree. You can’t cut it. No, not even with scissors. Like I just said, you never stop being what your forebears were. No, forebears, not four bears. Bears are not reptiles. Ducks are. Okay. You get it? Good talk. Here’s some more noodles.

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I just saw a story on AO3 tagged "pet p!ay"

TIK TOK MUST BE STOPPED BEFORE IT DESTROYS LANGUAGE

Ok, unless something's going on I'm not aware of (extremely likely), I gotta point out the term "Pet Play" is significantly older than Tik Tok, or most of its userbase for that matter.

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Yeah, I'm not mad about using the term "pet play". That's a perfectly fine term. I'm mad because they didn't use that term: they used "pet p!ay", a censored version

Oh. Oh gawd I missed that. Objection withdrawn, that is objectively terrible.

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To anybody who is new to posting on ao3, if you’re using a tag you have to use the correct spelling of that tag. People aren’t going to type in every version of a censored word to hide or look for your content 

For everyone new to tumblr, the same rule applies to tumblr too.

You cannot censor your tags! Censored tags cannot be block or filtered. Censoring tags HARMS your audience, it does not protect them

I know I've been over this but man HRT is good stuff. I wanna shake the hand of whoever invented it. It's a crime that I don't know who that is actually. They're more important than Einstein

id also been really curious about the history of hrt so i had some tabs open:

The first hrt treatments were mostly estrogen extracted during pregnancies to be used for menopause symptoms, but the first usage of those medicines for trans women is credited to the world's first Trans Clinic, opened in pre-WW2 Germany by Magnus Hirschfield, a gay jewish man.

Oh he looks delightful

Thank you grandpa

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The comparasion to Einstein was actually made at the time too! He was commonly refered to as “the Einstein of sex”, to which he supposedly once replied that he would rather Einstein be called “the Hirschfeld of physics” lmao

Oh my god

Yeah imma do a spidersona

*turns you into spiders*

Knows classic spells such as:

Ray of spiders, wall of spiders, spider surprise, and fracture human psyche so that the mind is broken and scattered within a mass of twitching spiders that have completely lost their grasp of what it meant to be human