thank god for american public transit !!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

You get on the bus and then everyone does the Flintstones thing

Great candles for anyone named Patrick or Emily!

party emilk in the house tonight

ill have what im having

I know, I know, gatekeeping the outdoors, that's supposedly bad, right, but I think if you show up to do a hike and you brought a portable speaker with you to play music while you hike, I think, like hear me out, there should be a gate, and someone at the gate should keep you from doing the hike.

just kicked this dude so hard his worms came out

Nobody even gives a fuck that my crumb got stolen by 10 ants

musterd is such a complex saoce. you wouldnt get it

@i-almost-came-in-the-pants

youtube poop hologram concert

@i-almost-came-in-the-pants @owmybals

Twin Peaks 2017 continuity error

In Part 2, Shelly says that James has “always been cool.” This contradicts both Twin Peaks and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me in which James was not cool. 

I'm the little moth that they hire to fly out of peoples' empty wallets. May not seem glamorous to some but it's an honest living.

spongebob patrick!

Oh so the plural of surgeon general is surgeons general, huh? Well what about bunnies rabbit. Puppies dog. KITTIES CAT. Did you ever think of that, you sillies goose?

the world is in desperate need of a smelly stink cloud emoji

catch me gardening topless at 5am telling my baby tomato plant about my bad dream