Friend: Do you think Groot’s name is actually Tree, since Thor speaks groot and introduced him to Steve as ”This is my friend Tree”

Me: Holy shit…

every time i massage moisturizer onto my face i feel kin with those evil witches in stories obsessed with youth and beauty….they did nothing wrong, ever,

Roses are red

Elf practice is avoidable

i want to die like satine in moulin rouge: being applauded, covered in petals, and in the arms of ewan mcgregor

That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

sleepy on main

absolutely fatigued on main

Fucking exhausted on main

i wanna make another smash ultimate tier list… anyone got any ideas

i LOVE it. gonna do that

and here it is!

Inner thigh kisses are important

takes notes

sir that’s my emotional support tapeworm

venom (2018)

[video: a person twirls an anime keychain above a number of chicks and creates a chick vortex]

why did this need to be captioned

so u can decide when it’s not loading whether or not it’s worth it to wait

I waited and it was worth it

Just in case people actually don’t know, video and image descriptions are an accessibility tool for people who are blind or have low-vision.

*Slaps roof of heaven and Earth* This bad boy can fit so many more things than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio.

a list of current immortals

(Butler voice) Your coochie, sir

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that 

🗣Some of you are so attractive but have absolutely no social skills or knowledge of how getting to know someone works.

I had to dust my Twitter off.

You took too long to invite her to an actual activity.

Before you ask, No “chill at the crib” does not count as an acceptable first outing.

Yes! If you ask for my address on a first interaction, you’re immediately blocked.

I love this photo of Tom Holland because he looks like a kid that’s been listening to his racist relatives argue over Christmas dinner for the last half hour:

him and that frog are about to go off

am I going mad?? Where the fuck is the frog in this photo??? help!