like if you killed a god but it couldn't die

chibi doodles

decriminalize:

criminalize: 

oh my god

Scarecrow level=1000

lets get sillay

babushka off her shits lets gooooo

imagine seeing this on a windy night

Did you bury a god of harvest in that pot before you planted the strawberries? Asking for a friend.

if tumblr ever starts forcing us to censor kill and die and murder and fuck and cunt and fag i’m deleting my account and starting an email chain with the mutuals

Wait I just thought about it and it might be cute to bring back wholesome church camp swear-swaps like frick,heck, jeez, mothertrucker. Sometimes the way ppl post we might need a lil. Swear jar,,

absolutely fucking not.

I still use "heck" depending on the context. "Heckin cute" just sounds more wholesome than "Fucking cute". It's all in the tone.

Also it's sometimes so much funnier to use non swears.

I still think about that scene from Night In The Woods where (spoilers) Mae has a near death experience and a mascot shark in the darkness says "You've been Danged to Heck" and laugh about it.

You're all missing the point luvs 💚 peace and love

"No guys don't worry getting censored is like, soooooo fun we can have sleepover activities like making up words that are less impactful to not upset advertisers " SHUT the fuck up please

Oh, so twitter is DEAD dead

By intention, no less.

per the Emerald Boyking (whose picture I have thoughtfully cut in half, you are welcome)

I don’t LIKE this happening but it is amazing HOW it is

It's totally not "temporary". He has said that so he can backtrack when twitter blows up. Which it has. Or it was doing, before I dooms rolled through my 600 read tweets limit watching people call him names.

Now I just get the "rate limited" message. 🙄

These are the most plausible suggestions I’ve seen as to what’s actually going on

and

Apparently it was their google cloud contract ended at midnight. He’s such a fuckwit.

How is he doing an even worse job than we all thought he would? Our expectations were SO LOW.

just realizes olive oil comes from olives…. much to think about

i will not have y’all humiliate me like you did when i said i thought microwaves just blew hot air on the food

Bro.

i thought the spinning helped it cock faster leave me ALONE????

stop reblogging this i can’t be known for this

y’all should watch supernatural because thor the norse god is there and he looks like this

chris hemsworth wishes

i said supernatural instead of stargate im losing my fucking mind

I thought it was an honest trolling attempt and I respected you for it tbh.

Me, before reading the rest of the post:

humans don’t have enough ornamentation. where’s the plumage, the antlers

i could go for a good vibrant throat sac i could display as i sing in the mating season

Humans have some of the most extreme hair variation over their bodies in the animal kingdom, with hair on some parts of our body a few millimetres long and fine enough to be almost invisible, and hair in other parts a good metre long if not artificially trimmed. Part of the inside of our mouths are turned out to make our lips bright red, we have comically oversized breasts and lack penis bones to make erections more indicative of impressive circulation, and have some of the most complex behavioural adaptations to self-ornamentation for courtship seen in anything that doesn’t spend half its life collecting blue bottle caps. How much ornamentation do you want?

I’d like antlers, as previously stated

I want bioluminescence

Sonar

Flared webbing would be nice

local spider receives funniest opportunity

[ID: A black-and-white comic featuring Jon, Martin, and Annabelle from The Magnus Archives.

Page 1. The comic starts with Jon saying indignantly, “A what?!” The camera pans to show Jon and Martin facing Annabelle, who smiles as she says, “A podcast.” Then she adds, “I thought archivists were smart, lol.” Jon looks exasperated as he says, “You expect us to believe that we’re in a podcast?” While Martin scowls. Sparkles fly as Annabelle grins cheekily. She fires a finger-gun as she says, “A rather good one, too!” Martin rolls his head to look at the sky as he says, “Christ.” Jon is staring forward with the words “bite chomp kill bark” and so on written behind his head. Martin holds up his hands and says, “So our whole lives—” Annabelle interrupts with a smirk, “Podcast.” Jon buries his head in his hands and lets out a moan. Martin tries, “Everything we’ve been through—” Annabelle says, “Podcast.”  “Tim, Sasha—” “Podcast (heart emoji)”

Page 2. The camera zooms out slightly to show the three of them standing in a flat field with craggy mountains on the sides. Jon screams quietly into his hands as Martin spreads his arms and demands, “This?” Annabelle quirks her mouth to one side as she says, “Oh, I wonder~” Martin finally gives up and pinches his nose as he mutters, “Are you fucking…” Beside him, Jon looks up and says, “If this is some podcast, then—” The camera closes in on Jon. Eyes spread out around his head as he says intensely, “Who’s the writer?” Annabelle just looks at him for a second. Jon says, “Annabelle—” The last panel shows Annabelle smirking with small hearts around her face, with a transparent overlay of her crying tears of laughter. Jon continues, “Annabelle, who’s the writer?” End ID]

Art by Philipe Rios

prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.

Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,

No fucking WAY, there's actually a knee injury Guy? Catholicism accidentally reinventing the medical specialty system......

I know you're wondering: are there slutty pictures of him revealing his knees?

Saint Roch, by Francesco Ribalta, c. 1625, Museo de Bellas Artes, Valencia

[image id: st. Roch staring soulfully and hiking up his robe to show that his thigh has a bubo on it, also sluttily revealing his knees]

what the dog doin

Everyone will have forgotten the "sorry we XYZ your boyfriend" meme by the time I think of a good one

Sorry we completely forgot about your boyfriend. Yeah he was deemed obsolete in internet-time by the time we remembered he was with us. Yeah now he's gonna be deemed cringe by younger people- yeah because. Because hes a dead meme now I'm so sorry

I feel like so much slur discourse could get solved by discussing intent. “I’m okay with faggot but don’t like when someone yells it out a car at me.” Yeah no shit. I like physical touch in the form of a hug but don’t like it when it is in the form of a punch. People have said the word “gay” “lesbian” “trans” what have you with the most hateful vitriol they can muster because they MEAN it like a slur. So many of us have heard the tone that may as well make the word a slur.

If I saw a sign that says “I hunt members of the LGBTQIA+ community for sport” it wouldn’t really feel different from “I want to kill faggots.”

Additionally, I LIKE that it makes people cringe. It used to make me cringe. Those words have history for me too. But they also are not able to be sanitized by corporations. Shitlibs who would never rock the boat to protect me are never going to NOT shrink away at me calling myself a dyke and I do not care.

MY intent IS vitriol back, sometimes. A bold statement of attack. But sometimes it’s a joke. “His faggy mannerisms have captivated me.” Sometimes it’s a badge of honor from older queers. Sometimes it’s not that deep. What’s behind the words, what the intent is is everything.

had a surreal experience at work this morning. i was the only person on the floor when we opened and a customer came over and was like "do you mind if i ask you for help with something?" and when i jokingly said "i don't think you have much of a choice to be honest" he replied "we always have a choice" and then we both just stood there opposite each other like rival wizards of light and dark for several moments.

it literally felt like this