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Arrange Your Face

@hurry-up-please-its-time

“There will be time, there will be time To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet” T. S. Eliot, The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock

When someone says that “men need sex” or “prostitution prevents rape” or advocate for disabled men to have state sponsored visits from sex workers, they’re also saying something disturbing about their conception of sex.

They see sex as a resource that has to be extracted from the female body, through force, manipulation, or payment. It’s something that can be redistributed, bought or stolen just like a tv or a laptop. We don’t talk about men needing to attend dinner parties or needing to belong to a bowling team because we recognize those as social activities that need the participation of everyone involved. You can’t mandate friendship, it requires the intent of more than one person.

We need to start thinking of sex this way. When you say that men need sex, remember that sex is an activity you do WITH SOMEONE ELSE.  It can never be neutrally given. Sex should be done because two people want to have sex, not because a man needs to be given it.