Full Service Island

if you think about it there’s no real reason for smith to be a more common surname than another standard job like cook. except that smiths fucked more. all those smiths in their forges with their big muscular arms all covered in sweat. i bet the medieval women were gagging for it.

Male hairiness.

okay we need to go to the mediterranean

me watching it all unfold

RIP Sophie. A pioneer and an icon.

SOPHIE - Oil Of Every Pearl’s Un-Insides (2018)

Samdy Cheeks:, they hate to see a squirrelboss winning

I'm sorry for putting you through unethical trials and rituals, please forgive me. I'll even let you try out my new maze for free

Uh, honey? They're nailing squidward to the cross

this hole you put me in, was in ideal depth. thank you :) i wont be climbing out any time soon!★★★★☆

i’m ‘gaslighting’ my stove. to cook food on it.

*at the renaissance fair* me: yall sellin mid? guy: yee…. over yonder

can you imagine plants on land in the precambrian like aw fuck yeah fish cant even eat us anymore this owns and then tictilak shows up

If i was a sickly little peasant boy designated by the aristocracy to carry messages back and forth for pennies and you found me against our citys outer wall with a deep wound in my chest from a musket ball and a letter cluthed in my hand and i told you that my dying wish was to have someone read that letter to me so i would know i died for something important and you open it up and you find a single large illustrated diagram of an onion would you tell me what it was? What would you say?

god complex this, victim complex that… I have an underground complex, it’s where I perform my evil and fucked up experiments

Hush. You Hear That?

That’s The Sound Of My Bones And Fibers Creaking And Groaning Like A Sailing Ship. Ok.

npr hosts be like hi im maquee bucatelli and this is my good friend jan apple krullwich and you’re listening to RadioFeet

when you get hired by npr they steal your real name like in spirited away

i think video games should be more abstract and depressing i think there should be a wuthering heights video game where you just wander through the moors until you give up and perish of consumption