He popped the first two. Now he carries this one very gently

He Flop Too Big For He Gotdamn Feet

we had to weigh it to make sure it was under 50 lbs so….

Same

Moss Shower Mat that lives off the water that falls after you get out of the shower and feels great on the feet!

great i’ve always wanted my feet to be covered in green shit and dirt after i shower

This kid is going places

my dad just got a goat

i actually have a really good fashion sense, i just have no money 

When my alarm goes off in the morning

*wipes phone screen on breast*

Pizza After Sex